In his early 20’s, Raymond Felton saw what he had and others lacked. It wasn’t his lightning quick speed. Not the refined ball-handling or gentle floater either. What Felton had was much, much more valuable for maturing human beings: two parents who served as a support system and provided mentorship.
The sharp-witted and thoughtful Felton surveyed the landscape of his childhood and noticed what happened to some of his peers during their adolescence. Desperately seeking support, guidance and the necessary guardrails that parents of both sexes are typically able to provide, some of Felton’s friends went down an unfortunate path.
“It’s a lot of kids that miss that mentorship, that miss that parenting in their life,” said Felton. “I’ve always had that. I’ve always had my parents in my life, even still to do this day. I’ve always had mentors in my life who give me that advice and are there for me when something is missing.”
“That’s why there’s a lot of bad kids, kids who are acting out, kids who are doing stuff. They don’t really want to do it, but they’re fiending for that attention,” Felton continued. “A lot of kids get in trouble because of that. They’re looking for attention, but they end up getting the wrong kind of attention.”
There’s a number or reasons why children lack a critical parental role model, be it a mother or father. Many of those circumstances arise on the level of the individual family, but others manifest more pervasively throughout society. Instead of chalking up the issue to something way above his head, Felton did what every good basketball player does: control what he can control.
In his early years in NBA as a member of the Charlotte Bobcats, Felton was just 120 miles from his tiny hometown of Latta, South Carolina. Maybe it was the proximity to his parents that convinced him to try and make an impact, but Felton was inspired to join the Big Brothers Big Sisters program as a “Big”, mentoring a then 11-year old named Ricky. Even with a hectic work schedule, Felton found ways to connect regularly with Ricky for two years, whether it was meeting him privately or catching up with him at games.
“This organization tries to get that (mentorship) back,” Felton said of Big Brothers Big Sisters. “There are still a lot of kids out there who don’t have that big or don’t have that person to basically just be there for them. It’s sad and you can’t help the entire world, but I can try to do my part.”
Eventually, as Felton’s career progressed and he changed teams, he realized that it was more realistic, and equally as impactful for him to provide institutional support to the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, and he’s been an ambassador for the organization for over a decade.
“You’re basically, almost in a sense, adopting a child. You have to spend time with them and give them what they’re missing in their life,” Felton explained. “I realized with my job being so hectic, I couldn’t do that, but I still tried to find a way to impact and help this organization.”
So that brings us to Thursday, when Felton was at the Big Brothers Big Sisters headquarters in Oklahoma City continuing a Thanksgiving tradition that Felton started back in Charlotte. As members of the program streamed through the building, Felton handed out 200 turkeys and other Thanksgiving food items to children and their families.
As an American kid raised in the South by a big, supportive family, Felton knows a thing or two about how special Thanksgiving is and recognizes that many in Oklahoma City might go next Thursday without a special meal or the ability to spend time with family. With the gesture of providing families the resources they might not be able to procure on their own, Felton is hoping to tighten family units, even for just a day.
“Everybody talks about the food and the desserts and all that stuff, but what it’s really about is getting together with your family and having that family love,” said Felton.
Felton looks back and fondly remembers the Thanksgivings at his house or his grandmother’s, when everyone in the family brought over their own specialty dishes and joined together as one. It’s been over two decades since those special childhood moments, and Felton feels the change in society since then. There are empty spaces where warm embraces once were.
Through Felton’s example, it’s clear that just by looking around at who we have near us, we all might be able to chip in and make a difference – so the next two decades look different for many than the last two.
“If we try to catch kids at an early age and try to help them, try to mentor them and try to push them in the right direction, I think this world could end up being a better place,” Felton stated.
“Who am I to say that?” Felton asked, humbly. “But I can try to do my part.”