During All-Star Weekend, Jason Collins, Dwyane Wade and other NBA members toured the Encircle Facility in Salt Lake City.
Hello, my name is El and I use she/they pronouns. A little bit about me: I make jewelry in my free time, I’m 16 years old but I can’t drive yet and I have a pet duck named Sunny. I’m also trans.
I’ve grown up in Utah and like any place with a conservative culture, I have faced challenges that come just from being who I am. It’s very hard to connect with someone when an essential part of their identity conflicts with their deeply rooted beliefs.
Like people everywhere who don’t fit easily into the mainstream, I deal with an undercurrent of “othering.” This is a pervasive feeling of exclusion that is very isolating, even if there aren’t obvious blocks put in place to make me feel unwelcome.
A good example of this is the fact that I am not currently in school. I had to leave for my own welfare because of bullying. I was bullied so viciously that an investigator had to come to the school to make sure a crime hadn’t been committed.
These are just a few ways I have learned about the challenges of being trans in a conservative place. Fortunately for me, and many other youth in Utah, we found Encircle; an LGBTQ+ resource center especially designed to help us and our families.
I had a fair number of queer friends growing up, so Encircle was not my first “you are not alone” experience. But when I visited one of their youth centers for the first time, I wished I had found it sooner.
Encircle welcomed me with open arms and continues to give me a safe space to ask for help without judgment. I can connect with people who have already navigated the challenges I am facing and learn from their experiences.
In turn, I’m able to share my own successes and failures with others to help everyone grow and learn together. Which is exactly what happened during NBA All-Star Weekend when Encircle invited NBA legends to join one of our group discussions, which we call Friendship Circles.
I was impressed with the stars who came to visit. They came because they wanted to learn. They were focused on listening and receiving genuine advice.
We shared our stories and thoughts about how to approach, accept and love LGBTQ+ people — especially in a conservative culture. Our group encouraged them to be open and welcoming every time someone shares a new part of their identity with them.
Above all, I asked them to eliminate the idea of “even though” from their acceptance of others. When you tell someone who has come out to you that you care for them “even though they’re queer” that’s saying that their identity is something that might keep you from loving them. You must truly embrace someone by accepting every part of them.
It was great to see how sports and understanding can come together, like it did during our visit with the NBA stars. We made genuine connections and they listened and asked informed questions.
Progress at the intersection of sports and LGBTQ+ acceptance is especially important to me, because I was heavily involved in men’s gymnastics for many of my earlier years. I dedicated hours and hours of practice to becoming one of the best in my age group. My specialty was the high bar, and I even won a gold medal at a regional competition in the event.
When I decided to come out as trans, I was worried about the people who ran the gym where I trained. I knew they were not the most accepting, and that I was likely to be kicked off the team and criticized in front of my teammates.
I made the decision to leave the team. It was a difficult adjustment to go from hours of daily training to not participating in sports altogether, just because of my identity.
I seriously considered taking up women’s gymnastics but ultimately decided against it. I knew, as a trans girl, I would likely soon be banned from competing in women’s sports. This is where the struggle for LGBTQ+ acceptance is now in my state and others around the country.
But visiting with NBA legends who wanted only to accept was an amazing experience. We are seeing more queer people than ever across the world of sports, and that representation will help everyone be comfortable in embracing change. It’s a change the world needs to make.
