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Charles Barkley lauds basketball, free expression and himself on Saturday Night Live Staff

In one night, Charles Barkley took to the Saturday Night Live’s comedic stage to address those things he considers most important.

The TNT personality had the stage to himself for once, starting with his opening monologue. He addressed freedom of expression among athletes. Naturally, Barkley held himself up as the golden standard.

“I’ve been saying whatever the hell I want for 30 years and I’m doing great.”

He subsequently defended recent comments made by LeBron James, which were magnified by a critical review from a national news anchor.

“Some people don’t want to hear from professional athletes, like this lady on Fox News who told LeBron James to ‘shut up and dribble,'” Barkley said. “Dribbling’s like LeBron’s only fourth thing he’s good at: shooting, passing and magically making his hairline come back.”

As for the sport that made him a Hall-of-Famer and an media icon, Barkley was adamant that basketball is better than baseball (too much standing) and football (too many concussions).

“The NBA’s much tougher,” Barkley said. “We play 82 games and you’re running 30 minutes a game or more.”

That, however, opened the door for retired baseball legend Alex Rodriguez to retort, “Wait a minute Charles, I watched you. You weren’t always running.”

As a pitchman for a roach-killing product, Barkley touted the logic of gun-carrying bugs to kill the unarmed species infesting your home. After asking aloud whether gun-carrying roaches would simply add to the problem, Barkley answered himself with unassailable logic.

“That’s so dumb it makes me mad!”