The Phoenix Suns are perfectly imperfect.
Not just right now, but all-time. If you’ve been a fan this comes as no surprise. In a drought that can only be truly appreciated in the desert, the hometown team has gone 47 years without a title. That doesn't mean they haven’t come close, though.
While you can never know for sure, the biggest “What if” fans ask is, “Just how many titles should the Suns have won over the years?” It sounds like a brutally depressing, yet great bar-room debate to have with friends that devolves into commiserating about, as Springsteen called it, the “Glory Days.”
That’s all it’s ever been. Just fodder to pass the time... until today. Thanks to ESPN.com’s Tom Haberstroh, we now have a statistical model to give us the answer to that age old question.
With the help of an algorithm that takes into account factors like win-loss record, home-court advantage, the number of times you play ‘80s music during play, number of 60-win seasons, coaches nicknamed Pop, Red or Zen Master you’ve had, 55-win seasons and playoff appearances, Haberstroh has come up with a projected number of titles for each team. (Okay, one or two of those factors may be made up. I’m not really sure.)
To add insult to injury, the Lakers, Bulls and Spurs, all teams who have blocked the Suns’ path to a championship more times than Mutumbo blocked shots or office supplies, groceries and laundry for our younger generation, ranked No. 1, 2 and 3 in the overachievers category.
Being perfectly imperfect has been part of what has made this team so endearing to fans over the years. It's not fun if it's handed to you. Like they say, the sweet isn’t as sweet without the sour. So that first title is going to taste like a Grand Canyon’s worth of ice cream.
[H/T: ESPN Insider]