Would You Rather: Andrew Bynum/Jordan Farmar
We played a game of “Would You Rather” with Andrew Bynum and Jordan Farmar, with names like Kimbo Slice, James Bond, Jessica Alba and Mr. Belding coming into play.
If you can figure out whose answers are better, let us know. I’m undecided.
MT: ... Would you rather fight Chuck Norris in a cage match or Kimbo Slice on the street?
Bynum: Chuck Norris. He’s a little bit smaller than Kimbo. I’m going to be able to stay away from Chuck a little bit, and I don’t want Kimbo to be touching me.
Farmar: Chuck Norris, because I like organized sports. I don’t play basketball in the streets really anymore … I like being in a gym with refs. I’ll take my chances with Chuck.
MT: ... Be James Bond for a day ... Or Hugh Hefner for a day?
Bynum: James Bond. All day. You get the cars, you can shoot very well, you’re an ace, you’re a ladies’ man … You have the total package.
Farmar: James Bond. Come on, he’s a highly-trained assassin/double-agent. He does his thing, and he still gets girls. He drives the hot car, he’s young, he’s fly, athletic, coordinated … Plus I’m not a Playmate kind of guy.
MT: ... Be able to communicate with animals, or be able to read women's minds?
Bynum: Communicate with animals, actually. I think you already know what’s on a woman’s mind, so definitely the animals ... I love lions, they’re my favorite animal; I just think they’re cool. I’d just want to see what was on their mind. If I’m walking through the jungle, I don’t want to get bit by a lion or a cheetah or anything, so I’d be able to talk to them and calm them down.
Farmar: Animals. I can already read women’s minds. I like dolphins – they’re my favorite creatures. They’re smooth, athletic, and agile. I just like them. If I could understand them they’d probably be saying, “Come take a couple laps around the ocean with me.”
MT: ... Be able to see the future or know all the secrets of the past?
Bynum: That’s a good one. Probably know everything that happened in the past, because in some ways you could predict the future. I’d never want to know exactly what’s going to happen in advance anyway, because if you know something crazy, you’re going to feel like you don’t ever really want to get there.
Farmar: The past, because I don’t want to know what’s going to happen tomorrow. I like the spontaneity of life, I love making each day my masterpiece and enjoying it for what it is. It would be like watching the same movie over and over again. And I’d want to learn about everything: my family, history, big-time events … I’d want to see what kind of preparation a great athlete did before a great event, like Muhammad Ali before a big fight or Michael Jordan before a big game.
MT: ... Star in a romantic comedy with Jessica Alba or Eva Mendez.
Bynum: Eva Mendez, definitely. I love Hispanic women. I actually talked to Pau about traveling to Spain in the offseason.
Farmar: Jessica Alba, because of my man Cash (Warren). I know his father real well – UCLA, Mike Warren – and Cash is a good guy. They came to UCLA games to support us all the time, but I’m not going to knock Eva. She does her thing too.
MT: ... Have Mr. Belding as your principal or Kelly Taylor as your guidance counselor?
Bynum: I don’t know. I’m too young for “Saved By the Bell” or “90210.” My brother would turn them on but I wasn’t really into it. I watch “Entourage” and “True Blood” right now, but I’d have to go with “Entourage.” I like Ari and Turtle.
Farmar: I don’t watch “90210,” but I like Mr. Belding. Plus, I don’t need a guidance counselor. My guidance is pretty good. I have Derek Fisher, my family and I’ve been doing a good job. I’d rather be Zach than Slater, because Slater’s a meathead and Zach’s cool, the ladies’ man.
MT: ... Have Kobe Bryant, Pau Gasol, Andrew Bynum or Lamar Odom on your side for a 2-on-2 tournament?
Bynum: Probably Pau. We’d have a big advantage. If one of us got beat, the other could come over and block the shot. You feel me? And they have to stop us offensively. The toughest matchup for us would be Kobe and L.O., obviously. They’re also very talented.
Farmar: Kobe. I think he’s the best player in the world, he’s one of the most competitive individuals I’ve ever been around, and I’m the same way in terms of competitive nature. I want somebody who has that dog in them all the time. If we’re going against bigs, we’re going to make them come out and play some defense on the perimeter, and just keep fouling them underneath.
MT: ... Have an unlimited gift card to your favorite restaurants or to Best Buy?
Bynum: Best Buy, most definitely. I’d probably get a nice theatre set up with a projector and widescreen to start.
Farmar: Restaurants, all day. I could eat for life, and I don’t drink but I could buy up the bar for everybody who wants to drink and have a good time. Play the host. I like Katsuya, Spago, Union Cattle in South Bay…
MT: Would you rather jump off a two-story building or eat a scorpion?
Bynum: Actually I’d rather jump off a two-story building because if I hang off the edge, it cuts it by a story. You didn’t think about that. Now if it was three stories, I’d eat the scorpion.
Farmar: Two-story building because I’d land it and roll and be real smooth. No injuries, not nothing. James Bond. But if it were three stories, that might hurt a little bit, so I’d go with the scorpion.