Pick One Challenge: Week 23
Ben Zani, Rotowire.comBack to top
I've always considered myself a champion of the unrecognized. My favorite knight in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" was "Sir Not Appearing in This Film." I always check to see who wins the Oscars that are actually handed out before the awards ceremony. My favorite baseball position is the designated pinch runner. I think that George Harrison was, by far, the most talented Beatle.
It is with that spirit that I recognize those that, for whatever reason, will finish this season unpicked and unloved in the Pick One Challenge. We pick nearly 200 players on the year, but sadly, these gallant warriors have not made the cut and, unless some wild strain of bird flu somehow takes out the first and second units of every NBA team over the next two weeks, will not make the cut when the regular season ends. This column, therefore, shall recognize a few of the "Sirs Not Appearing in This Film," but is dedicated to all who spend most of their season sampling various varieties of courtside seating while forever wearing warmup suits:
Brian Scalabrine, Matt Bonner and Robert Swift - I sadly did not pick any of the Ginger Haired Trio this year, though the decision may have also had something to do with the crazy redhead I dated during junior year of high school. That girl was positively nuts, and probably caused me to be somewhat racist against Ginger Kids. Then again, my decision was helped by the fact that Scalabrine suffered more concussions than the entire WWE roster this year, while Swift somehow tried to look like the bassist for every Fall Out Boy cover band. Bonner…well he's actually a Florida Gator, so I actually apologize profusely to this great man.
Hamed Haddadi - While Haddadi does have the honor of being the first 7-2 Iranian I've ever seen, I sadly think I will leave him unselected in this year's Pick One season. Fun fact kids, Haddadi is not the first Iranian to play pro basketball in the U.S. - that honor goes to someone named "Behdad Sami." Thanks Wikipedia! Though I didn't pick him, I completely respect Haddadi's efforts to bridge U.S.-Iran relations through the joy of Memphis Grizzlies games. Now just make sure nobody shows Haddadi's country's President the "I Ran" sketch from Saturday Night Live a few months back.
Bobby Brown - It was just simply not my prerogative. (I've been sitting on that one all year! Tip your waitresses)
Eddy Curry and Jerome James - If this was the Pick "two guys who have free time on their hands and would serve as optimal bodyguards for me when I become a rap star" Challenge, then I'd be all over Curry and James. Or if it was the Pick "NBA stars that you think would win a competitive eating contest" Challenge. But, sadly, the Pick One Challenge relies on things like "on-court production," rendering James and Curry obsolete.
Michael Redd and Al Jefferson - Because I'm an idiot.
Kyrylo Fesenko - If you asked my buddy John, who plays in our weekly pickup game after work on Mondays, who my game most resembles, he'll almost certainly say Kyrylo Fesenko. I'm not sure whether to take this as a compliment or not.
Gentlemen named above, I wish you all nothing but the best in your future endeavors, and you can sleep well knowing that, unlike pretty much everyone else I picked this year, you didn't underperform and make me look stupid in public.
As far as my picks go, I currently sit in the 94th percentile and around 1800th place, but this final death rattle of top-notch selections will hopefully catapult me towards my goal - the top thousand. A boy must have his dreams, a boy must have his dreams.
On with the picks…
Date: Monday, March 30, 2009
Date: Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Date: Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Date: Thursday, April 2, 2009
Date: Friday, April 3, 2009
Date: Saturday, April 4, 2009
Date: Monday, March 23, 2009
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