What's in a name? Everything.
POSTED: Jun 25, 2015 10:09 AM ET
The NBA is on the verge of seeing it's first Karl since Malone retired 11 years ago.
I am a firm believer that the name makes the man. Year in and year out we see it -- the players with the most famous, most basketball-sounding names are the players who are the best in the league. Sure, I have zero data to back this up, and in all likelihood it is completely non-factual, but it really seems right. I mean, you've never seen someone named Barry Richardson win Finals MVP, have you? Exactly.
So without further adieu, here is how I think the careers of all 60 draft picks in the latest Draft Express mock draft will play out, based completely on their names and nothing else. I've included some info regarding the brackets too, but I think you'll get it.
All-Stars -- NBA-ready names that you've never heard before but that we're all going to remember for the next decade.
Starters -- Not everyone can be an All-Star, but these are still the kind of names you see popping up in starting lineups across the league.
Role Players -- These straightforward names might already be in the NBA, lurking on benches and making great use of their 15-20 minutes a night.
Sixth Men -- For whatever reason, Sixth Men always seem to have fancy names, and these my friends, are some fancy names.
International Players Who Will Always Be Used in Comparisons to Other Former Players from Here On Out -- Someone has to be the new Darko/Dirk/Bargnani.
International Players Whose Draft Rights Will Always Be Used in Trades -- There are so many random international players drafted these days that you only hear about when a team needs to throw something in for a trade. These are those guys.
International Players We'll Never Hear About Again -- And some players get drafted, then don't make a single wave in the league.
Replacement Level Players -- Pretty convinced these are just NBA 2K16 randomly generated names for end of the bench guys.
Should Have Played in the 1980s -- Old-sounding names are back in fashion, as evidenced by this gang of dudes who sound like they were born 30 years before they actually were.
Larry Nance, Jr.
Could Be Football Players -- Certain names just sound like they belong to another sport. Sometimes that sport is football.
Could Be Baseball Players -- But sometimes that sport is baseball.
Most Famous Player in the League One Day Per Year -- Nope, not Gerald Allstargame.