Jake's Take - 5/24/10

May 24, 2010
Jake LeRoy

Dance Fever

My heart skipped about eight beats when I first read "Brandon Jennings" and "TMZ" in the same headline a few weeks back. Rarely does sharing a headline with TMZ result in anything even remotely positive, because TMZ isn't generally in the business of positivity. The folks at TMZ are in the business of ruining reputations and creating scandals where they don't exist. But Jennings managed to deftly escape this potential public relations nightmare -- even coming across as likable -- a rare feat when crossing paths with TMZ.

My main takeaway from the video was that the kid has got some moves, namely The Jerk. We all know what he can do on a basketball court, but his moves on the dance floor were shrouded in mystery up to this point. I think this particular skill set needs to be explored more. Over the last few years, the Bucks have concluded their pregame introductions with one player bustin' a move while the rest of the team encircles said player. I seem to remember David Noel excelling in this role. As a matter of fact, I believe Chad Ford listed "fluid dance maneuvers" as Noel's top attribute leading up to the 2006 NBA Draft. Regardless, I think that, with a little prodding, Jennings could potentially dance circles around Noel in a dance-off.


Brandon Jennings shows some of his moves during a timeout in Game 3 against the Hawks.

Now, I would be more than happy to give Jennings a lesson or two, but unfortunately I'm not sure that I have the requisite coordination to tackle such a challenging role. There's actually a very high probability that I would rupture my Achilles, tear my hamstring and throw out my back if I attempted anything more than a basic shoulder-shrug, shimmy-step, which just happens to be my go-to move. And it works 60 percent of the time, every time.

I will, however, provide Jennings with some offseason homework that he can tackle when he's not working on his mid-range game. I will readily admit that I don't know the first thing about dancing, but I'm going to throw some dance ideas out there and see what sticks. If anybody else has any suggestions, feel free to chime in.

The Humpty Dance: It's a relatively simple collection of moves and Humpty Hump does a fine job of outlining the steps within the lyrics to the song. It starts off by "limpin' to the side like your leg was broken," which should "look like a fit or a convulsion." Luckily for me, "ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain," because it's a rare moment when I'm dancing and don't look like I'm in pain.

The Knee Float: A few years back, Converse unveiled a commercial featuring Dwyane Wade and the tagline, "Fall seven times. Stand up eight," which featured Wade getting knocked to the floor and popping back up. I can't think of a better way for Jennings to show opponents that he can't be hurt than by getting to his feet using The Knee Float. It's the perfect fusion of functionality and style.

The Green Man: There has been an influx of men dressed in green spandex body suits over the past two years. This phenomenon came courtesy of the FX show, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," which featured one of its characters dancing in the aforementioned costume. There's really no rhyme or reason to the dance as it's pretty much just a collection of spastic body gestures. But that just means there are no rules or regulations. Jennings can just let his limbs do whatever the music tells them to do.

The Aunt Jackie: The Aunt Jackie, introduced in early 2007 by Harlem-based rapper Jason Fax, may have already passed its prime, but I feel like everything in life deserves a second go-around. The Aunt Jackie originated on YouTube and quickly gained steam throughout the country. I'm not sure that a real, live Aunt Jackie exists, but if so, she has inspired one of the more fun-loving dance movements in recent memory.

The Gob: As an adamant supporter of everything "Arrested Development," I'd be remiss if I didn't include GOB's chicken dance. It's a pretty nonsensical dance, but that makes no difference to me. The next time Glen "Big Baby" Davis attempts his rhino-charge would be an ideal time to bust this move out.

Now I realize that Jennings has more pressing matters on his plate this offseason, but I feel like there's some untapped potential here. A well-timed shimmy or two-step could unite the team and become the driving force behind a 19-2 run. I'm sure Andrew Bogut and Ersan Ilyasova could unleash a dance from their native countries, but I can't see it having the same effect as Jennings dropping a hot Knee Float or Humpty Dance.

In summary, Jennings' offseason should consist of 18-footers, finishing at the rim and learning The Gob. If he can put a check next to each of these items, I think he can consider his offseason a successful one.

Note: These are the views of the 6th Fan Blogger. Thoughts and opinions expressed in this articles are not necessarily the views of the Milwaukee Bucks.