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Q & A With Alice Bender
Recently, Sixers Communications Coordinator Donna Katzman visited Alice Bender, the wife of assistant coach Bob Bender, in their new home in suburban Philadelphia. After a tour of the house and
some of Donna's famous homemade chocolate chip cookies, she sat down with Alice and discussed the life of a coaches wife and her thoughts on moving cross country.
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Sixers.com: When did you find out that you were coming to Philadelphia? Alice Bender: We had been talking to (Sixers General Manager) Billy King and he made it known to Bob that he would love to have him join the staff if he could work out a spot for him. That was the first part of June. Sixers.com: What were your feelings about moving across the country? AB: We were excited because at that point Bob was already in a transition phase from his position in Seattle at the University of Washington and had decided at that point he would love to pursue a spot in the NBA. Coming here and being on the East Coast, closer to family in Chicago and Florida, being with Billy and Coach Brown, and to have that on Bob’s resume as well as to be associated with the team like that, is exciting. Sixers.com: What are some of the differences you’ve noticed between living in Seattle and Philadelphia? AB: The biggest thing I noticed is the tradition here...the East Coast kind of tradition that I’m used to. The network of friends that Bob and I have, at least from college (Duke), live on the East Coast. And the fact that you can get to New York and Washington D.C so quickly. And Philadelphia is so rich in history. Sixers.com: What is the best thing about Philadelphia so far? AB: I like jumping on the train and getting somewhere new and different. I love the history here. I think that people here are really super fans. When we have had the occasion of someone asking, “What are you doing” and we mention what Bob’s doing, they say, “Really! We love the Sixers!” They are very enthusiastic and supportive of their teams. And obviously that comes with good and bad support. They have very definite opinions. And it’s great! You can tell, they are very excited about what is going on. Sixers.com: What will you miss about Seattle? AB: I’ll miss my friends. There is no other place in the country like it. You have mountain ranges and water existing in one place. It’s beautiful. But I won’t miss the rain. And it does rain a lot.
AB: I had just graduated from Duke, and I was working for First Union National Bank in Charlotte, North Carolina. I was with a friend and her fiancé at the grand opening of a condominium/shopping complex, and Bob and I bumped into each other there. Duke is only 7,000 undergraduates, and at that time Bob was an assistant coach with (Duke Head Basketball Coach Mike) Krzyzewski. He recognized me and I sort of recognized him, and we started talking. He said, "We’re going to go out tonight…there are a group of us that went to Duke…we would love for you to join us.” I drove and met them there and we started seeing each other after that. Sixers.com: Where else have you lived? AB: We went to Illinois State first, which is in Bloomington, Illinois and that was where Billy (King) was with Bob. Billy was an assistant and coached with Bob for, I think, four years. We left for the University of Washington for 10 years, and now we are here. Sixers.com: What is the hardest thing about being a coaches’ wife? AB: I think the hardest part is probably, and I haven’t had to do it much, knowing you might have a lot of transitions in your life. You might not be somewhere for a very long time. And therefore, you plant roots but those roots can get pulled up rather quickly. And the scrutiny. The fact that your husband’s job is so public. People have opinions. It’s a good thing that they have such an opinion about it, but it can be hard sometimes. Sometimes people don’t always know the full story behind the story. And you can’t really divulge and share that when you’re trying to protect other people. You have to be the shield that deflects all of that. And that can be difficult, even more so for the children. Sixers.com: Best thing about being a coaches’ wife? AB: I would say that you can participate at his job. For example, this past weekend at the Beach Bash...it was a family event that we could all be a part of. Plus, how many people can go to their husband’s place of work and really watch him working? I can go to the games and watch Coach Brown coach the team and watch Bob help him. There are very few jobs that you can be involved in that way.
AB: I think it has been difficult just because we are coming in the summer time. They’re not in school yet, so they haven’t made school friends. We’re in a transition period. But they have been great, they think this is a fun place to be. It’s really how you spin it, and we’ve spun it in a very positive way. Both Bob and I were excited to come, so it’s easy to present it that way to them. Sixers.com: What kind of activities have you been involved in? AB: I did a lot of volunteer work at school for the children because I like being involved. Schools need some support and help most of the time. I was happy to give my help because it supported my children, and at the same time it helped keep me connected with what’s happening with them at school. I was on the board of the YWCA. I was a member of a group called the Seattle Art Museum Supporters that did fundraising to procure different art pieces for the museums, and I was involved with Junior League for a time. Sixers.com: Do you have a favorite player that Bob has coached? AB: I would have to say Todd MacCulloch. He’s still such a special friend of ours. Bob just talked to him one week ago, and he loves living here and loves being with the Sixers again. So Todd is one of those really special guys. And that’s not to say there aren’t others. But as far as someone who fans here would recognize and know, I would say Todd would probably be on the top of the list of all-time favorites. |
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The Bender's are not fully settled in their new home.