I know, I know; I'm late with my column this month. My dog ate the first copy. What can I say? I was busy vacationing and working hard at taking it easy. Do like I always do, look on the bright side. Since I was late with this one, the next one is only two weeks away unless I just decide to be perpetually two weeks late.....

My good friend Swoops the mascot for the NFL's Philadelphia Eagles invited me to his birthday party back on August 22. It was the first football game held at the brand new Lincoln Financial Field. At halftime all the other mascots and myself played a tackle football game against a fully-equipped team of 12-year-olds. We got our butts kicked. The best part was going out after the game with my Aunt Sue and Uncle Dennis who like myself are from Philadelphia. Uncle Den can't stop telling everyone how he got to party with Eagles cheerleaders and how he got his picture taken with them.

From there I was off to Indianapolis to accompany my girlfriend, Haley (the Houston Comets mascot), to Freddy Fever's birthday at an Indiana Fever (WNBA) game. Feddy is fat and ugly and has a horrible country bumpkin accent, but I love him anyway. This trip proved to be a lot safer for me than the last one. I stayed off the mechanical bull this time and avoided another trip to the emergency room like earier in the year. Shout out to my buddy Boomer, mascot for the Pacers, who got married this past weekend. A mountain lion looks funny in a tux!

Next stop was for some good clean family fun at the purest of pure cities that our country has to offer. Las Vegas is the site of the yearly NBA mascot convention. For four days the Palms Hotel and Casino swindles my fraternity of fur out of all their hard earned bowls or honey, bunches of bananas, cans of silly string, and any other form of mascot currency that the blackjack dealers can get from us.

I of course don't gamble. I just sit back and laugh at the Gorilla from the Suns and Hugo from the Hornets crying over all the dough they lose. Those guys should stick to jumping off a mini-tramp and avoid the tables. All joking aside, I got some great ideas from the conference. I can't wait to try some of my new routines and props at my new home this season.

The highlight of the week was the video we shot of about eight of us jumping into the hotel pool. Guests lounging by the pool were more than a little surprised to see eight fully-clad mascots storm the pool with cannon balls, swan dives, and flips. It looked like something straight out of Caddyshack when the caddies all get 15 minutes to use the pool.

Getting into the pool is easy. Getting out 100 pounds heavier soaking wet is a little more of a challenge. My next trip is on Friday to Cancun for a week of recreation and rowdiness. I'm going to stick my head in the sand and not take it out for five days. That is my kind of vacation. Man, I sure do travel a lot for a bear.

For those of you I saw at the grand opening/open house at Toyota Center, thanks for coming. I had a great time. My new cave RULES! If you have not seen it yet, you need to check it out. The jumbo-tron hanging at mid-court is spectacular. It is the world's best and highest quality picture in an arena anywhere. Look for a lot of funny video skits this year from me.

For those teachers out there who haven't booked me to visit your school this year, you had better do it soon because my schedule is almost filled. Last year I visited 80 Houston-area schools with my "Building A Future" program. This year it looks like I will visit over 100. If you'd like to schedule a school show you can do so by calling my trainer, Dominic, at 713-758-7347. Time to go to Mexico. Talk to you in two weeks.

Until next time. Be BIG!