Clutch Speaks
A regular column written by the Rockets Bear himself


July 2, 2003

My wife was chosen as the poster girl to advertise tryouts for the new Rockets Power Dancers team. That ROCKS! You got it. She is the blond one right smack dab in the middle of the home page. I'm a little proud to say the least.

But then again maybe I shouldn't be proud of her, I should be proud of her parents for getting together because that's where we get our looks from. Except for the fitness factor, none of us is naturally attractive based on our own doing. The fitness factor - now there is something for which I am definitely not the poster boy. So never mind. I give props to my wife's parents for having the forethought to get together in order to produce an attractive woman for me to marry.

Anyway, if you or anyone you know would like to get down with me next year on the court at the new arena, preliminary tryouts for next year's Power Dancers squad will be held at the Hobby Center on July 19 from 7:30 a.m. until 6:30 p.m. For more information on tryouts, which will be open to the public, call 713-627-DUNK.

Speaking of my wife, she turned me onto recreational reading on a trip to Russia two years ago (since there are no movies available on the nine-hour flight on the luxurious Russian airline, Aeroflot). I think the last book I read before that was Willy Wonka and the Great Glass Elevator which, of course, is a sequel to Wiily Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Just kidding kids, I have read a book a week ever since I was a little cub. READING ROCKS! Anyway, I thought I'd give you all a little book review installment in this edition of Me Speaks. You'll notice I'm a big James Patterson fan. Here are some of the 24 books I've read in the last two years complete with ratings and comments.

CLUTCH'S BOOK REVIEW
BOOK
AUTHOR
PAWS UP/DOWN
COMMENTS
Tuesdays With Morrie
Mitch Albom
UP
Great book! Stop and smell the roses. Made me cry a little more than I would have liked.
Unnatural Exposure
Patricia Cornwell
UP
The woman Quincy came to paper back. This book was kept in my hands from cover to cover.
The Tao of Pooh
Benjamin Hoff
Sideways
The Forrest Gump of bears shows you how to do what comes naturally in order to be happy. All in all, a little too simplistic of a take on life for me, but with a few self-evident reminders.
The Jester
James Patterson
UP
This guy doesn't just write murder suspense books. He writes historical fiction in a way that makes you believe that is what actually happened. I have to go back and research history after I read a book like this to find out how much really occurred and how much he made up.
Four Blind Mice
James Patterson
UP
Don't worry, Alex Cross will save the day. I just never picture Alex Cross being Morgan Freeman. I think he would look more like Denzel Washington or Laurence Fishburn.
When the Wind Blows
James Patterson
UP
He even does sci-fi. Genetic engineering, kids with wings, medical and scientific ethically conundrums, and of course murder will get your mind running or flying in circles.
Who Moved My Cheese?
Spencer Johnson
UP
I think "Rage Against the Machine" would have a field day disagreeing with this book. Just kidding boss I loved it!
FISH
Lundin, Christensen and Paul
UP
This is the story of my life. If I can't have fun doing something I don't want to have anything to do with it, especailly work. It was a little obvious to me.
Catcher In the Rye
J.D. Salinger
DOWN
They didn't want us to read it at first because it was the work of Satan, but then they did want us to read it. Unfortunately by then I didn't care so I got the Cliff notes. That being the case, I thought I needed to revisit this American classic. I'm not sure why it is such a classic. This kid Holden Caulfield is just a messed up kid who needs to relax a little bit and stop thinking so much. Maybe ya' had to grow up back in the day to have a true appreciation for it.
Timequake
Kurt Vonnegut
UP
O.K., so he's helplessly self absorbed, and chronically depressed, but man can this guy make you think. It is a science fiction novel that spends only about 40 percent of the book telling the sci-fi story. The other 60 percent is spent in tangents writing about his own life, family and friends. He invents more of his own euphemisms than cavemen learning to communicate verbally.

If you get time, check out some of these books and let me know what you think. Don't forget, even though our favorite team is not in season, I still am. If you or anyone you know is having a special event and would like to have me turn it upside down, give my trainer, Dominic Davila, a call at 713-963-7347. I'd love to come.

Until next time. Be Part of Something BIG!



  • Schedule CLUTCH "The Rockets Bear" or HALEY "The Comets Far Out Alien" for your next special event by calling (713) 963-7347

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