I'm back from the Texas TAKS tour 2003. Now that's some alliteration! For those of you who don't have kids or are not one yourself, TAKS stands for the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills. It is the standardized test that all third, fourth, and fifth graders in Texas public schools have to take every year at the end of April.

The three-part test gauges their collective learning progress in reading, writing and math (or as you smarties refer to it - arithmetic). The test took place this past Tuesday, April 29. For the past three weeks my chubby little buddy, the Rockets Ranger and I have performed our hour long "Building A Future" show at 18 schools, visiting a grand total of over 10,000 children all over the Houston area.

For those of you who need things spelled out, I'm a bear and the "Rockets Ranger" is my park ranger buddy like in the cartoon Yogi Bear. Along with fun, games and skits (i.e. me just being a professional idiot) during the pep rallies, we extol the virtues of getting a good education and the role that that education plays in the students' futures. In other words, take it from me, get smart so you can grow up to wear a bear costume for a living!

To all of you who took the test, I hope you did well. For those that didn't, stay home sick on Friday, May 23 because that is when the test scores come back to you at school.

In the last installment of Clutch Speaks I forgot a fairly humorous story from the road. I think it had something to do with some memory loss, as you will soon see. Several hours after performing at a Pacers game for Boomer's birthday, I ended up in an Indianapolis hospital getting a cat scan.

Apparently after the game everyone thought it would be a good idea to ride a mechanical bull at a local establishment. Well, yours truly, being the biggest and baddest mascot in the league had to be the first to show everyone else how it was done. Two seconds into my ride, I was thrown off the front left side of the contraption as it smacked me on the right side of my forehead.

After briefly blacking out I came to holding my hand to my bloodied head much to the amusement of my brotherhood of fur. After a two-hour hospital stay I was released with a fairly clean bill of health, pain medication, and the doctor's strict orders never to ride anything again. I can't believe I forgot to tell you that story. I mean actually I can believe I forgot to tell you that story given the circumstances. What story was I talking about again?

If you read last time, you know to expect this edition's Top 10 list. Here is my TOP 10 ANSWERS TO MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

10. No, I can’t get you Steve or Yao’s autograph.

9. I’m not fat! I’m just big boned.

8. I can talk. I just choose not to.

7. I know of Winnie, Yogi and Smokey, but I don’t know them personally.

6. I forgot number six.

5. Yes, I go in the woods.

4. This is my real job.

3. I’m sorry, I’ll try to throw you a T-shirt next time.

2. I’m a little crazy, but not totally insane.

1. Yes, its hot in here!

Until next time. Be Part of Something BIG!