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3.11.08

Hey, check it out…. I’m GREEN! That’s right Houston, It’s TIME to GO GREEN and that is exactly what I’ve done. In case you haven’t heard, Rockets Red is going green for a game. On Monday, March 24th, 2008 at the Rockets vs. Kings game tip off time 7:30 pm at Toyota Center we are having a “GREEN” game to raise awareness for conservation, recycling, new environmentally friendly emerging technologies, and all things related to doing what is right for mother Earth. All hybrid cars will receive free parking at the Toyota Tundra garage. The first 8,500 fans to arrive that night will receive a free green T-shirt brought to you by Waste Management. There will be some surprises from our entertainers and game presentation that you don’t want to miss. Probably most shockingly of all (at least to me) is that I will be complete green the whole night just like you see in this picture where Shane, Aaron, and I are planting trees. You might have seen us all over the news doing it. We are very famous don’t ya’ know? So come on Houston, GO GREEN with me and come to the March 24th game against the Kings and watch my favorite team open a can of…..woah, slow down there Clutch. Sorry I was getting a little excited thinking about the whole thing.

Well, if you don’t know what has been going on with my team lately, you must live in a cave. Wait, I’m supposed to live in a cave. Scratch that. If you don’t know what has been going on with the Rockets lately, you must be sleeping for months straight. Wait, I hibernate for part of the year. Scratch that. Oh well, you should know what is happening. We are on an amazing record breaking winning streak that is turning the NBA and the city of Houston on it side. Everyone is getting Rockets fever. I’m writing to you just after our game against the Nets on Monday, March 10th where we just won again taking the streak to 19-0. WOW! Unbelievable! This is great and certainly an indication of what we have to look forward to in the playoffs! Our last ten victories were double digit win margins setting a NBA record. So we are not just beating teams, we are killing teams. We led by as many as 27 points tonight. These aren’t squeakers. We are in commanding leads almost the entire game. I’ve simply never seen the team play so well and I’ve been with the Rockets for 13 years. I’m happy to report my giant mascot noise meter and a conductor skit where I played the role of maestro helped put fans in the mood for some of these past wins and helped with home court advantage. Let’s keep it up Houston. Keep watching, keep hoping, and most of all KEEP CHEERING!

Over the past month many of you might have seen a marriage proposal that didn’t go so well from a recent Rockets game. You probably saw it on the internet because someone forwarded it to you or you might have even witnessed it in person if you were at the Rockets vs. Kings game the day before Valentine’s Day. It has gotten quite a bit of attention. Literally millions of people have logged onto to sites like break.com, youtube.com, digg.com, espn.com, and si.com all to see this poor guy’s heart get crushed in front of 18,000 Houstonians. The whole thing unfolded during a supposed skit/contest I was doing where I blindfold a woman and with the help of the audience play the hot and cold game with her in an effort to direct her to an autographed team Rockets basketball within a minute. As she is walking towards the ball the crowd upon my prompting makes noise and when she is walking away from the ball the crowd quiets down. Well, once I had her blindfolded, I switched the ball out for her then current boyfriend who was waiting with a live microphone and an engagement ring. I steered her into position with the help of Rockets fans and then un-blindfolded her. To her surprise instead of a Rockets autographed ball she found her boyfriend was on one knee in front of her with ring in hand. He began to make the proposal of his life with 18,000 on lookers. The long and the unfortunately short of it was that she said no. Can you believe that, “NO” in front of all those people? You should have seen my reaction. She briskly walked off the court to loud throngs of boos leaving him stunned on his knee. I did the only thing I could do. I helped him up, put my arm around him patting him on the back, walked him off the court, and took someone’s beer and gave it to him. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out. Just go to break.com and type in the search word “proposal.” Some people have questioned and wondered whether this was in fact a “real” proposal or another one of my pranks. To that all I have to say is, “I’LL NEVER TELL!”

Speaking of the internet, I’m on myspace.com now. Check me out and become one of my myspace friends. I like friends and need all of them that I can get. I’m located at myspace.com/clutchrocketsmascot. I’m new to myspace so I still only have less than a 100 friends, but want to get several thousand as soon as possible. Help me out!

My 13th birthday is this Friday at the Rockets vs. Bobcats game tipping off at 7:30 pm at Toyota Center. I can’t wait. It is going to be a blast. I have five friends from around the league coming in for the celebration. Bear from the Utah Jazz, Blaze from the Portland Trailblazers, Bango from the Milwaukee Bucks, Boomer from the Indiana Pacers, and Stuff from the Orlando Magic will all be in attendance. At half time you are challenging the Rockets Dunking Dancers to a dunk-off. It is going to be quite a show down. Whose dunks do you think will bring the house down more? Make sure you are there to catch all the action and show up early to make the pre-game autograph session from 6:30 – 7:00 pm at the Memorial Hermann Sky Court on the upper concourse. The first 5,000 will receive a Clutch soap dispenser at the doors. AHHHH, my dreams are all coming true. I will be able to wash my hands by myself with myself and so will you. Watch out now, I’m going to be a teenagers and I’m probably going to start getting into even more trouble than before because of it. See you Friday!

Houston’s Own CLUTCH “The Rockets Bear”
Has personally discharged, sprayed, and unleashed over 15,000 cans of silly string (life time)
For Houston Rockets Tickets or Sponsorship/Partner Opportunities, Please Call 713-758-7200 or visit rockets.com

1.23.08

I’m writing to you after two home wins the first of which was probably my favorite Rockets win and game of my career. Beating the Spurs was just what we needed right now. With T-Mac back for his first game since going out with a knee injury and a sold out crowd, the Toyota Center was ROCKIN’! In addition to the team’s amazing performance it was a great game for me personally for several reasons. First and foremost, the moment was finally right to pull off a new crowd prompt I’ve been waiting to use to fire Rockets fans up late in the 4th quarter when the game is on the line. It came in the form of a giant elevating tower that grew from floor level just off the corner of the court. I stood on top of the tower as it rose and unfolded a giant vertical sign that eventually revealed the message of “ROCKETS FANS N-O-I-S-E!” The giant “human/mascot noise meter” rose to a height of 23.5 feet and exploded with streamer cannon once it was fully extended. Rockets fans that were in the building, you went nuts and our boys went on to win a big one for us with your support. THANK YOU! I can’t wait for the right moment to pull that baby out again and get Toyota Center ROCKIN’!

The rest of the game from my end went really well too. During the first time out of the game I got to present Hakeem the Dream to Toyota Center. He got a standing ovation of course. Then I got him to sign a basketball and threw it out to the audience after making them cheer and salivate over the precious collector’s item. During the first quarter break “Air” Clutch and “Air Head” Clutch brought the house down with a surprise ending skit. “Air” Head Clutch came to “Air” Clutch’s rescue by eating a Spurs fan whole. I know it sounds crazy and it was. You really just have to see this bit to believe it. Ask someone who was there. By the way, the cherry on top of the night was the fact that I sunk my behind the back half court shot in only 4 tries. COUNT IT! The mascot planets must have been in line and the basketball gods must have been happy that night.

A shout out of support goes out to Eric McMann who is the Memphis Grizzlies mascot Grizz’s “best friend and knows Grizz inside and out”. Just before the holidays Eric was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and has just recently begun chemotherapy treatments. As a sign of support all the “best friends” of the NBA mascots got together and shaved their heads on January 4th, 2008 as a sign of support and hope for Eric. Eric lost his hair as a result of the chemotherapy. We are thinking about you Eric and pulling for you. There are a lot of knuckleheads with cue ball heads in your corner. GET WELL SOON!

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and you had better be ready with something special for your loved one. If you are still looking for a unique idea, I have the perfect thing for you! Not to sound too much like a commercial, but--role love song, and cue voice over……….Rockets fans are you looking for something unique to get for your special someone this Valentine’s Day? Does that person love big furry over-enthusiastic teddy bears? If so, you should send them a Clutch-Gram. A Clutch-Gram is a personalized visit from everyone’s favorite mascot, Houston’s Own CLUTCH “The Rockets Bear.” Throughout the day on February 14th this furry Rockets fanatic will be traveling all over the Houston area to offices, homes, and restaurants delivering Rocketized Valentine’s Day gift baskets to unsuspecting Rockets fans. In addition to delivering autographed Rockets memorabilia and Valentine’s Day treats, Clutch will entertain your sweetheart and fellow coworkers or friends and family with his trademark antics and shenanigans. Give the gift that will provide life long memories and will be what everyone is talking about. For more information or to schedule your Clutch-Gram today, call (713) 758-7347.

Who saw me on Channel 13 or Channel 55 last week? You might also have heard my best friend who knows me inside and out, Robert Boudwin, on MIX 96.5 or 97.5 THE TICKET talking up my big run? Better yet, did any of you see me in person last Thursday night at Memorial Park running a 5K? That’s right, I said a 5K! I ran a full 3.2 miles in full mascot gear (What else would a bear run in?) to promote awareness for the 2008 Rockets Run on January 27th, 2008 at 8 am benefiting the United Health Care Children’s Foundation. It was not easy to say the least. My finish time of 44 minutes didn’t set any human records. However, I do believe it is a mascot record. If you are a Rockets fan, a runner, a philanthropist, or just someone looking to have some fun, you can sign up for the 2008 Rockets Run right here at rockets.com under the promotions page. It really is a great deal. For just $25 you get entry into the race and a ticket to the game that night. Hope to see you all there!

In the random observations from the last month department:

-In the flower district in Houston by the medical center why does the following business math exist? A dozen roses cost me $12.95. A vase cost me $5. Baby’s breath cost me $2. If I want to purchase all three of these things at once, they won’t sell it to me for less than $40! I’m talking the exact same items. They call it an arrangement fee, but I’m not asking for an “arrangement.” I’m just asking for the three items that I have selected myself and for which you have identified individual prices. Come on guys. What is that? Business gives a discount for quantity purchases not a penalty compared to the ala cart pricing.

-Rock Band for PS2 finally came out and it does ROCK, but how many times are you going to push back a release date that you have already publicly announced and told thousands of customers both in person by store personal and by mass media advertising. Not to mention, you shot yourself in the foot by missing the holiday sales boom by not getting it to stores until December 28th. Wow, did that annoy me. That said, now that I’m through that, I love it. Shane Battier and I have talked about how much fun it is several times. Yes, when he is not playing ball he does normal things like the rest of us like pretending to be a rock star by playing a video game in our living room. That is normal, right? However, he can actually play the real guitar where as I need this game to feel like I can. I don’t care. Once you try it once, you’ll be hooked.

-If you are flossing your teeth right after a meal and you get a piece of food on the dental floss, do you snatch it up with your mouth and eat it like it was meant to be the first time or do you discard it. I’m talking about right after eating and not hours later once the food has started to digest or decompose. Uhh, yea, me neither.

-Did you ever notice that you can’t look into someone’s eyes. Really, you can’t. You know how “they” say, two people in love were looking into each other’s eyes on Valentine’s Day (By the way, did I tell you about Clutch-Grams???). Try it. You can’t look into someone’s eyes. You can only look into one of their eyes at a time. I’m not kidding. I just tried it again and couldn’t do it. You can only focus on one of their eyes at a time.

Last month’s caption naming winner is Anna Amatruda with the caption of, “On the road to Victory with power and accuracy!” Anna goes on to elaborate that her caption represents the “V” that the sparks seem to be making around Clutch. Congratulations Anna. Rockets fans, take a crack at this month’s picture and e-mail me what you think the caption should be at clutch@rocketball.com.

Until next time, IT’S TIME,
Houston’s Own CLUTCH “The Rockets Bear”

12.10.07

HO HO! It’s Time. It is that time of year again. I’m definitely in the holiday spirit. At the November 21st game against the Mavericks which was the night before Thanksgiving I came onto the court dressed as Indian Clutch and tossed out ears of corn instead of T-Shirts. At the December 5th game against the Grizzlies dressed as Santa Clutch I brought 6 children from the audience to mid court and asked them what they wanted as gifts for the holidays. Wow, did I get some interesting answers. The holiday fun at Rockets games is not over yet. During the 3rd quarter of the December 19th game against the Orlando Magic, Santa Clutch will be available for pictures, autographs, and handing out candy canes in the Rockets Team shop. Come sit on my lap and tell me what you want for the holidays. I’ll let you know whether you are on my naughty or nice list. Make sure you come out and see my and the fellas at a game soon to catch all the excitement and laughs.

If you have made it to some games this season you might have seen some pretty hysterical video shorts during some of the breaks in the action. If not make sure you come to a game soon. You don’t want to miss Time Out Training with Yao, Golfing with Mike James, and Clutch, or Clutch getting dared to wrestle superstar Booker T. I can’t believe I’m still alive after wrestling him. Needless to say, I won’t be returning to the ring any time soon. He threw me around like a stuffed animal. Wait, I kind of am a stuffed animal…

Dane Cook just came to the Toyota Center so I decided to take in the show. He is one funny guy. I actually attended with all my fellow Rockets employees. The organization was generous enough to give us all tickets as a gift to see the comedian. Just 3 days before hand I saw one of the greats, Stevie Wonder at Toyota Center as well. He was amazing. I didn’t realize just how many Stevie songs I actually know until I found myself at the show loving song after song and singing along. If you haven’t been to a concert or any other shows at Toyota Center besides and Rockets game, you really need to come check one out. They ROCK!

I am starting a new feature here on Clutch Speaks. Each month I will post one of my favorite photos of me in action. You will all have the opportunity to e-mail me with your suggested caption. So check out the photo below and e-mail me at clutch@rocketball.com with your proposed caption. The funniest caption, as long as it is not more than a PG-13 rating, will get posted along with the photo as part of the following edition of Clutch Speaks and the winner will get mailed a free Clutch T-Shirt, autographed children’s book, and autographed 8x10 personalized Clutch photo. Have fun, be creative, and I look forward to your submissions.

Now for some minor annoyance/observations I need to make from the last month or so.

-I hate when valet parking services use the spaces closest to the business that I am actually going to patronize where I could park myself. Aren’t valet services meant as a convenience / luxury so that customers don’t have to walk far or waist time looking for a spot and not as a way of extorting money for spots already there and accessible if not for a orange cone?

-Why are some high school class presidents outsourcing the job of planning the class reunion at a greatly increased cost to their fellow alumni? Isn’t that the job they agreed to do as part of running for class president back when they were in school? I don’t think it was intended for them to just shuffle the responsibility off to a party planner making it so that the cost sores in many cases to $90 per head just for light appetizers with a cash bar. Wow, you want to be class President, you better be prepared to get your hands a little more dirty 10 and 20 years down the line than just making one call to a party planner.

-In the movie “Awake” out in theaters now, I wish the Mother didn't discover the bad guys’ plan. Rather, I wish the movie focused on her sacrifice for her son and had the son figure out what she had done for him when coming our of surgery. Then he could have exacted revenge on the bad guys himself making the whole fact that he could hear and feel everything while under the effects of anesthesia more relevant and pertinent to the story. What climax that would have been. The bad guys would have really been shocked. If you haven’t seen the movie, check it out and let me know if you think I’m right.

-Why do you always here people refer to the American dream as having a house with a white picket fence, kids, and a dog when we all know the real American dream is to make enough money to leave the country and retire to the islands in luxury?

Don’t worry, I’m only partly serious. Hope you had a laugh.

Until next time remember, IT’S TIME!

Houston’s Own CLUTCH “The Rockets Bear"

10.17.07

IT’S DEFINITELY TIME HOUSTON!

I’ve been waiting all summer just like you and now I can’t wait any longer. Our home opener is just around the corner on Saturday, November 3rd against the Portland, Trailblazers with a tip-off time of 7:30 at Toyota Center. It is going to ROCK! I can’t remember being this excited for a Rockets season to start. There are so many new things to be fired up about. We have a new coach with an exciting, fast paced, offensive minded strategy that is sure to dazzle. We have Stevie Francis back in the saddle. Welcome back Steve. We missed you. We have Battier. We have Bonzi. We have James. We have Luther. We have Hayes. We have Scola. Did you see him win the MVP of the FIBA Americas this summer? Don’t forget, we have two of the biggest superstars in basketball bringing the whole thing together and leading the charge. Yao Ming and T-Mac are going to clean up this year. I really think eight months from now we’ll all be celebrating a 3rd NBA Championship for Houston. Wait until you see some of the funny footage we got of our players promoting upcoming Toyota Center events like the “Harlem Globetrotters” coming February 8th and 9th and “Walking With Dinosaurs” April 2nd through the 6th.

In addition to action packed Rockets basketball, I’ve got plenty of new material set to make you laugh, make you cheer, and make you go, “WOW!” There will also be many hugs to dole out for those of you who would like a cuddly teddy bear hug. For those of you who like my video skits and shorts look for the following this season: a hysterical vignette where I make a golf bet with Mike James, a game entertainment training session for the Power Dancers and myself led by Yao Ming, a famous MP3 player commercial spoof, a Dare Clutch with wrestling superstar Booker T., and a special Mission Impossible to distract the opposing team. I guarantee they will have you splitting a gut laughing so hard. Stay tuned at the game. There is plenty of new live entertainment planned as well. Look for the giant mascot NOISE meter to get you going when the game is on the line.

I took a little time recently to return to my roots and kick it with YoUDee “The Fightin’ Blue Hen” from the University of Delaware. I attended a Presidential Awards Ceremony and a Football game to watch the bird in action. I got a lot of ideas to fire up Houstonians from watching that chicken foul around. Keep up the good work YoUDee. You the Bird!

My upper level yell leaders, Clutch’s Crowd -Out Of- Control, are back for a second season of cheerleading and all around mayhem. These guys are crazy Rockets fans who help unify the upper bowl at Toyota Center during Rockets games. In addition to creating an overall fun and exciting atmosphere upstairs, they start chants and pass out free noise makers to loud die hard Rockets fans. If this sounds like something you would enjoy, please e-mail Tamara Lupo at tamaral@rocketball.com. She is amassing a team for me to train and unleash against our opponents.

Over the next few weeks my side kick, the Rockets Ranger, and I will be visiting over 15 Houston area elementary schools spreading our message of a drug and alcohol-free lifestyle. Our Building a Future school show, now in its 11th year, will deliver a unique brand of edutainment intended to both delight and teach. Over 10,000 students will be informed of the harmful effects of illegal substances and be inspired to make future oriented decisions. Whether we see you in the next few weeks or not, just remember to JUST SAY NO! At these shows we will also be distributing our brand new children’s book, Clutch Shapes Up, sponsored by Children’s Memorial Hermann Hospital. This is the 3rd book in the series which tracks my efforts to make healthier choices. If you are interested in having me come to your school to deliver one of several messages covered by my Building a Future school show, please call my trainer, Dominic Davila, at 713-758-7347.

With a talented mix of players on the verge of a potential championship season and a variety of new entertainment elements to entertain and inspire you with, let me say it again. IT’S TIME!

BEST SWISHES and GO ROCKETS!
CLUTCH

P.S. NOW IT’S REALLY TIME!

08.01.07

My summer is going great and I hope yours is too. There is a lot to talk about. How about Stevie Francis coming back to “H” Town!! With Yao, T-Mac, Francis, a great supporting cast, and Adelman at the helm we can’t be stopped. Check it out Houston. This is our year. Mark my words, “Championship #3 coming to Houston in June of 2008!” I can’t wait for the season to start.

Besides all the exciting off season moves we have been making, I have also been hard at work shooting and preparing many new video skits and shorts for the upcoming season that I think you all are going to really enjoy. Look for hilarious new game entertainment bits where I team up with Yao Ming and Steve Frances. Let’s just say that Yao can be quite the mascot Coach and that Steve is quite the golfer. You’re going to laugh your heads off.

Some good news in the awards and trophy department was received since we last spoke. For the 3rd time in 4 years one of my Video Skits took home the first place trophy at the Idea Conference. Our House Sitting with T-Mac skit which many of you have seen either at a game or on my home page at rockets.com under game night won first place out of all the submissions. The Idea Conference is the largest video and score board operations conference in sports entertainment with attendees from all four major sports and many large college and Universities. Big thanks goes to Tracy McGrady and his family for their graciousness as our host and Jim Adessa, Brandon Meier, and Joe Abercrombie for their amazing talent, dedication, creativeness, and hard work as the cameramen and editing crew. The whole video takes place at T-Mac’s home, I mean palace where I was entrusted to house sit for him while he and his family went on vacation. Let’s just say I did some things I wasn’t supposed to do and leave it at that. If you haven’t seen the video yet, go to my home page and take a look.

I just got back from vacation last week where I did nothing but sit in the sand, read books, and snorkel. I’ll bet you didn’t know bears could snorkel. This one can. Kids I read 5 books last week alone. I hope you are reading this summer too. My summer reading list includes: 6th Target, Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, and The Quickie all by James Patterson as well as Bridge To Teribithia by Katherine Patterson (unrelated to James) and The Little Book of Common Sense Investing by John Bougle, Predator by Patricia Cornwell, All Marketers Are Liars by Seth Godin, and Hi Mom Send Sheep by Tim Derk. If you haven’t picked up a good book this summer, what are you waiting for? Nothing gets my creative energy and imagination going quite like a good book. READ ON!

In addition to my off-season preparation, appearances, and reading, I also like movies, a little TV, and especially music so I thought I’d compile a list of my favorite of all time. I listed them below. Let me know what you think and what yours are.

• Schedule Clutch at your next special event by calling (713) 758-7347 or visiting rockets.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Click HERE to submit a question for CLUTCH to answer!