Hey sports fans, how is everyone? I almost sound like a stand-up comic with that introduction.

Since we have last communicated, I have done a lot of traveling. I took a trip all the way to Fairbanks, Alaska to perform at the Top of the World Classic November 23rd through the 25th. Surprise, surprise, it was COLD and DARK. Now I sound like Gomer Pile. I realized how cold it was in Alaska when my cab driver told me on the way to the arena that is was unseasonably warm for this time of year at 25 degrees.

Believe it or not, they actually have mascots in Alaska too. The Alaska Maniac's birthday party was held on Saturday and Sunday night with Jackson De Ville, the Jacksonville Jaguars mascot; G-Wiz, the Washington Wizards mascot; yours truly, and 3,800 frosty fans. The Top of the World Classic is a college tournament that is hosted each year by the University of Alaska at Fairbanks. In addition to asking yourself, "Who the heck is the Alaska Maniac?", you might also be asking yourself, "How did that invite list get put together?"

G-Wiz

The Alaska Maniac has been a popular mascot in our most northern state for years now. His best quality is that he really knows how to pick his friends well. While I accepted the invite primarily to do some sightseeing during the five minutes of daily daylight, the other two knuckleheads misinterpreted the three-to-one male to female ratio thinking it was in their favor. G-Wiz and Jackson did not realize there were three times as many men not women in Alaska until they were at the local Denny's wishing they were not surrounded by faces with more hair on them than their own.

The coolest part of the trip was seeing six-foot tall ice sculptures outside the arena where we performed. These frozen works of art get carved in the fall and remain in tack for six months. One was even a working pay telephone booth sculpted complete from ice. The highlight of the trip was dog sled racing in full costume. Thanks to the Alaska Maniac for a good time. By the way G-Wiz had a big "I told you so!" for me after I told him how my skit was received at the Wizards game here in Houston. For those of you present at the game, I get the message. No matter how innocent the reference or joke, you can't poke fun at Michael Jordan. How about Shaq?

Other stops over the week-and-a-half break from home games included New York and Philadelphia for Thanksgiving. I think I bumped up that 92-inch waistline of mine a few inches. The highlight of that trip was my 10-year high school reunion. All the other bears I went to school with wanted to know all about Yao Ming and what it was like to stand next to someone taller than us. You know us bears are all quite tall. Some friends became lawyers, some doctors, some police officers, and one even became an obstetrician delivering up to 13 cubs per day. It was great to see everyone again. I'm glad that not too many of my old classmates got thrown in jail.

Oh yea, I almost forgot. How 'bout 'dem Rockets. We beat our Texas neighbors the Spurs last Tuesday night. That felt good. The game on Saturday against the 76ers was also great. Steve Francis really took it to Allen Iverson and the Sixers. That was a BIG win.

I threw on the old tux on Sunday for the annual Rockets and Comets holiday party. Last year the guys at the office tried to keep it a secret from me because they said I ate too much the year before. They told me where it is this year, but only after making me promise to only go back to the buffet five times and that is it! I can't believe it is being held at the police station. The guys at the office told me to make a big entrance by showing up shooting my silly string as soon as I get through the doors of the station house. I'll tell you all about it next time. Everyone told me that after the party we would go on a trip down the river, but I'm not sure which river they meant. If I don't see you until after the holidays, I hope you get what you want. Catch you later.

P.S. Be Part of Something BIG!