What I’m not taking the blame for is free throw shooting…65% from the line? And that’s only because Rip made a bunch down the stretch. Before that we were hovering around (that’s above and below) 50% from the line. Rasheed misses four, Carlos and Lindsey combine to miss four, and we lose this game by nine…hmmmmmm…and there had to be something wrong tonight, because the Big Push Shot made eight of 12 from the charity stripe.

I don’t usually go off on stuff like this, but I remember back on my freshman basketball team at Troy Athens, when Coach Clinton would make the team line up on the baseline and one by one we had to shoot free throws. If you made we all stayed on the baseline…if you missed, we all ran a suicide – you know…baseline to free throw line, back, baseline to half court, back, baseline to opposite free throw line, back, baseline to baseline, back. Taught us all how to handle pressure at the line, concentrate and shoot when we were tired. Now, those who now play ball with me know that I’m not a great free throw shooter (okay, I stink), but in those days, I was about 80%…thanks, Joe Clinton.

I wonder…will Coach Brown have them running suicides on Memorial Day as a way to remember to make your free throws!

But you know it wasn’t all the Pistons. Shaq, or Captain Hook as he will now be known, got to the basket wayyyyyyyy too easily. That can happen when you’re allowed to use your off arm to clear out to shoot the baby hook in the lane. There were more hooks in close to the body than a Mike Tyson fight…left hooks too, just like Mike…please don’t eat my children.

Alright, I have to establish a couple rules of the blog…and I want you all to say it with me in your best Eddie Murphy imitating his father voice (replacing names for “Lillian”)…ready? “These are the rules of the blog! (Pretend to be writing it down)…Rule number one…Sweet cannot leave the suite. Rule number two…Slim cannot use the phone. Rule number three…the Chief Economist (HHHeeeeeyyyyyYYYY!) cannot dance, under any circumstance, and stay out of his grill.

Now, I will post these rules on the refrigerator in case you forget. And if the suite burns down, I better not see Sweet out of the suite because Slim called the fire department and someone all up in the Chief Economist’s grill while he dances…I want some respect! That’s right, respect…R-E-S-P-C-P-T…YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT…!!!”

And while we are on the Murphy family, Mike James was in the house tonight (wearing his 2004 NBA Championship ring)…say it with me, Charlie Murphy….”I’M MIKE JAMES, B*%#H!”

Others spotted at the game this evening:

Seven members of the Detroit Shock team. Ladies, I said it before and I will say it again, the supply room called and we need those reams of paper back. Next time, maybe we can get you telephone books to sit on so you can see over the Heat bench.

Three members of the Detroit Red Wings. Nick Lidstrom, Chris Chelios and Kris Draper…you remember the Red Wings, right? They used to play in the playoffs of their own this time of the year. Alright boys, enough of this lockout stuff…get it worked out, will ya, eh?

Kid Rock in the house tonight, resplendent in a Red Wings home jersey (#17, I believe – Gerard Gallant?), white hat with red bandana and, of course, jeans. Here’s a cool thing, though. I saw Kid Rock in the back corridor, hanging with a couple of buddies. I was walking behind a man in a wheelchair, who was between Kid and me. The gentleman rolled right up to Kid, stuck out his hand and introduced himself, “Hey there, Tom (or Bill, or Jim) Quisenberry! Remember me from Clarkston?” Now, I didn’t hear the gentleman’s first name, and I’m pretty sure Kid didn’t either. Kid Rock’s American Bad Ass response? “Hello there MR. QUISENBERRY. How are you?” Classy move, Bob…honestly, a very classy move.

Also spotted in the stands at The Palace…Michael Douglas. Overheard when they put him up on the screen? “Wow, that guy looks just like Michael Douglas!” Personally, I thought the man looked like Gordan Gekko, although he could have passed for Spartacus.

In the suite hallways during halftime and spotted Pudge Rodriguez, Nook Logan and Rondell White from the Detroit Tigers. Congratulations on the three-game sweep of the Orioles this weekend in Baltimore. How did you guys get home so fast after the game? Oh yeah, our game started at 8:15 p.m. ...PLENTY of time! And by the way guys, next time believe the staff member who tells you which way to get to your suite, not the All-Star catcher…Pudge may be the man behind the dish, but this ain’t CoPa…

And how about Miami Assistant Coach Keith Askins, backing up his coach, Stan Van Gundy, and calling out the Detroit crowds for making fun of a suit he wore during the season. In defense of the fans, I heard that even Craig Sager, known for his sideline reporting on TNT, bad patterns and worse colors for his dress clothes, thought Askins’ suit was ugly. I overheard in the press lounge that the suit was like a finely tailored “KICK ME” sign.

Speaking of suits…one of my favorites, Stephen A. Smith, was looking rather dapper in a five-button suit tonight. Hey Stephen A., wasn’t that suit color suspiciously close to “Carolina blue?” He may not be able to play for them, but at least he can show some support for Coach Brown, Rasheed and the rest of the Tar Heels. Say it with me now, “RA-SHA-NO-STER-A-VIC”!

Did Coach Van Gundy actually say that Detroit has “a particularly nasty crowd” that will “say anything or do anything”? Then the bad mustachioed one went on to ask “what other arena did somebody throw beer on somebody” and accused the security people of not caring at the Palace.

Hey Stan, (is his full name Stanley?), this ain’t the land of white sandy beaches, pink tiled roofs and annoying salsa music. Big fella, this is Detroit – where the weak are killed and eaten (quoting that t-shirt). We have bad weather, bad roads and bad attitudes. We also are the defending world champions. Please remember that…

And while we’re on the subject, LET’S ALL REMEMBER THAT!

Speaking of Stanley, is the Lightning now a back-to-back winner of the Cup? Just curious…