Dante’s Speak, Installment 8

I've absolutely heard it all this week. "Clyde Drexler is making a comeback"!! "Michael Jordan is coming back to play with Shaq down in Miami"!! "The Nuggets are looking at Dennis Rodman" and "The Knicks will be good this year"! I want to know who is responsible for making up these far-fetched, fairy tales and I want them to stop! Leave MJ alone, he's done enough for the game. Let Clyde glide off into the sunset, he just got inducted into the Hall of Fame for crying out loud. Dennis, I wish I had $1 million, cuz I'd gladly give it to you to just go away, the Nuggets have enough loose cannons. Finally, stop telling me Isaiah Thomas has turned the New York Knicks around, I mean we all have internet capability and can read the Knicks roster on our own, who are these people fooling? That being said, I give you my pre-season picks for the Eastern Conference.

ATLANTIC DIVISION
TEAMS: BOSTON, NEW JERSEY, NEW YORK, PHILADELPHIA, TORONTO

LAST: This is extremely difficult to decide because each team in this division is quite capable of an abyssmal season, however I believe the Toronto Raptors will stake claim to this honor ONLY because it's in Vince Carter's contract to get hurt and miss half the season. This will leave Jalen Rose and Chris Bosh to carry the load......case in point!! They do have a new Head Coach in Sam Mitchell and they did sign Rafer Alston in the offseason, but both these moves were offset with the drafting of Rafael Araujo. Did Vince even wait an entire day after the Draft to say he wanted out? FOURTH: Philadelphia. You thought Allen Iverson took a lot of shots up this point? Wait till he gets to camp and sees Willie Green, Josh Davis and Kevin Ollie! The only saving grace on this team is new Head Coach Jim O'Brien. He'll have that team playing defense with Samuel Dalembert, and Kenny Thomas, but offensively where does that team turn after Iverson and Thomas? Glenn Robinson will make an argument for himself, but that ship has sailed my friends! Injuries and inconsistency have plagued his last two seasons. THIRD: New Jersey Nets. Only because of Jason Kidd do they even finish this high. On paper they should come in last place in this division, but Kidd makes everyone around him better, the only problem is, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird and Magic Johnson combined couldn't erase the bad karma that surrounds Ron Mercer, and he'll be starting for New Jersey in place of Kerry Kittles. Kenyon Martin is gone, Richard Jefferson is coming off a dismal Olympic performance and GM Rod Thorn gets a contract extension, go figure! SECOND: New York Knicks. Isaiah Thomas has the highest payroll in the NBA at around $105 million, that should buy some pretty talented players....instead, it buys Stephon Marbury and Jamal Crawford (Knicks teammates will need the jaws-of-life to get the ball from either of those two), Tim Thomas, Vin Baker and Allan Houston. There simply aren't enough balls to go around for this team, BUT, and it pains me to say this, if they can work together, pass the ball, defend and play as a team, they COULD win that division rather easily, as Kurt Thomas is one of the most underrated players in this league, and it looks like Michael Sweetney is ready to contribute. FIRST: Boston Celtics, not because they're a good team, but they win this division by default, and maybe even with a 41-41 record. Why Doc Rivers took this job I'll never understand. Danny Ainge has made it quite clear that he has no idea what he's doing, and now he's traded for Gary Payton who may or may NOT even show up, Rick Fox who just retired, and Tom Gugliotta who passed away four years ago. OH, I forgot Raef LaFrentz is coming back though. They do have Paul Pierce, they have an athletic big man in Mark Blount and if they get anything from Ricky Davis or rookie Al Jefferson, they'll take this division. I'm also being chased by dogs and I can't run, so I'm hoping this division is just a bad dream.

CENTRAL DIVISION
TEAMS: CHICAGO, CLEVELAND, DETROIT, INDIANA, MILWAUKEE

LAST: Chicago Bulls, I mean why break precedent? Do me a favor and click on the Chicago Bulls roster sometime, then send me an email explaining just who any of those players are? I like Ben Gordon and Luol Deng, they'll be good in time and Kirk Hinrich came in to his own at the end of last year, but Eddy Curry and Tyson Chandler are not Scott Skiles type players they're both too lazy. From there, they have compiled a rather impressive assortment of other teams's scraps. FOURTH: Milwaukee Bucks. Heck, we didn't believe in them last year, and they proved us wrong, but I still don't believe in them this year. T.J. Ford had a great start to the season last year, but his entire career is still in question after the scary fall he took, injuring his neck. Michael Redd has emerged as a superstar in this league, and Keith Van Horn finally has a home, for now, but there were very minor additions to this team in the offseason, Mike James, Maurice Williams and Jelani McCoy, who doesn't even count. THIRD: Cleveland Cavaliers. It's LeBron's turn to blow the doors off this league, yet again. The Cavs are expecting even bigger things from LeBron this season. Cleveland added incredible depth at the guard positions with Eric Snow, Luke Jackson and Lucious Harris, AND Dajaun Wagner is healthy. They added some size in Robert Traylor and Scott Williams (that's really all you get from those two) and some athleticism with Drew Gooden. They still have some kinks to work out obviously, but they're good enough to finish third in this division. SECOND: Indiana Pacers. This team could be quite scary, they already have Jermaine O'Neal, and Ron Artest, now they add another scorer in Stephen Jackson. From there, the Pacers have role players.....but good ones. Jamal Tinsley, Jeff Foster and Austin Croshere have perfected the science of not getting in the way, and they actually fit quite nicely. I'm still not ready to count out Reggie Miller, the guy will hit game winners till the day he's 60, which is only a few years away. FIRST: Detroit Pistons. It's simple, you're the Champ until someone knocks you off. Guys like Ben Wallace, Chauncey Billups and Richard Hamilton aren't just happy to finally have a ring, they'll tear your heart out in a game of rock, paper, scissors. They lost Mehmet Okur, but they re-signed Rasheed Wallace, and added Antonio McDyess, and if they can only convince Derrick Coleman to retire, then another title is well within their reach.

SOUTHEAST DIVISION
TEAMS: ATLANTA, CHARLOTTE, MIAMI, ORLANDO, WASHINGTON

LAST: Charlotte Bobcats. They'll finish last simply becuase that's what expansion teams AND teams coached by Bernie Bickerstaff do. We all know Emeka Okafor and...uh.......Emeka Okafor. Gerald Wallace and Jason Kapono will get a chance to shine, Steve Smith apparently isn't quite ready to hang up the shoes, and what follows are players whose pictures aren't even shown on their online profiles. FOURTH: Atlanta Hawks. Everything about this team just rubs me the wrong way. The Hawks leave me with that, "I think I just swallowed a bug" feeling in my mouth. I guess they could be competitive, they do have Antoine Walker and Al Harrington, but both are complementary players, not stars. Add to that players such as Josh Childress, Boris Diaw and Peja Drobnjak, and this team has all the makings of a GOOD NBDL team. I fully expect attendance to be somewhat of a problem again this year. THIRD: Washington. Gilbert Arenas and Antawn Jamison will be a fun tandem to watch, not as fun as the swings at the playground, but more like that slide that sticks to the back of your legs when it's real hot out, but can sometimes be fast if you have the right pants on. Jarvis Hayes, Larry Hughes and Kwame Brown are good enough to get this team to third in the division...and...well.....therein lies the problem! SECOND: Orlando Magic. Brand new team, and by accident would have to win more than 21 games. TMac is gone, but Steve Francis and Cuttino Mobley will be a dangerous backcourt in the East. Dwight Howard will take some time to develop but has the tools to be one of the great ones. Pat Garrity is healthy, and Kelvin Cato and Tony Battie give the Magic, dare I say, rebounding and defense down low. That being said, the biggest question is where does this team score? I don't know the answer to that, no one does, but hopefully it will be Grant Hill and Hedo Turkoglu. It will take time for this team to gel, but they'll work hard, run the floor and HAVE to finish better than Charlotte, Atlanta and Washington, don't they? FIRST: Miami Heat. Is there even a question? Even Christian Laettner can't mess this up for the Heat. I'm tired of hearing people say, "they gave up too much for Shaq". Are you kidding? Shaquille O'Neal and four players from UCF could get third in the East. But they don't have UCF players, they have Dwyane Wade (still funny to see it spelled like that) Eddie Jones and very adequate role players. Shaq is angry, he's lost weight, he's got something to prove, and from what I understand he doesn't really like Kobe right now, so I can only warn you Eastern Conference centers! By the way, is there anyone who will miss that Christmas Day game in Los Angeles?

Dante welcomes your comments, questions and alternative opinions. E-mail him here.

Dante’s Speak is solely the opinion of Dante Marchitelli and does not reflect the views of the Orlando Magic or the NBA. Marchitelli has served as radio producer in the Orlando Magic's Broadcast department for six seasons.