ENOUGH DRAMA ALREADY
July 19, 2004

After narrowly missing the cut for the Charlotte Bobcats summer league roster, I am back to write about the week that was, in the NBA.

We start, of course, with the trade that sent Shaquille O'Neal to Miami for Lamar Odom, Brian Grant and Caron Butler. STOP RIGHT THERE:....and let's fast forward fifteen years. It's July, 2019, Ken Jennings has just passed the trillion dollar mark on Jeopardy, and I'm sitting with my son, telling him about the nine Championship rings worn by Shaq. My son relishes the story, especially the part where I explain how Dwyane Wade's first name is spelled like that, ON PURPOSE....we laugh. He then looks up at me and asks, "Dad, who are Brian Grant and Caron Butler?" I cringe, and then tell him how Jerry Buss and Mitch Kupchack chose Kobe over Shaq....he cries. Not because he is a Laker fan, but because of the horrible fate that awaited the Lakers. Rewind back to 2004. I am glad this trade went down for two reasons: 1) Now Stephen A. Smith will stop screaming at me through the TV, and 2) Kobe will get what he's always wanted, a chance to be the main man. Enjoy the 7 seed, Kobe, and a first round playoff exit.

Next up, Carlos Boozer. This is an amazing story. Carlos had played two years of his three year contract, with the Cavs. He then asked Owner Gordan Gund, and GM Jim Paxson to be let out of his last year, so he could re-sign with the Cavs for more money (all while trying not to laugh into the phone, like Bart Simpson when he crank calls Moe's Tavern). Well, they let him out of his contract, Utah swooped in with a huge six year, $3 billion contract that Cleveland can't match, and Boozer will play for the Jazz next season. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How do you just "let" someone out of their contract? I"m waiting for Ashton Kutcher to show up and tell Jim Paxson he's been "Punk'd"

By the way, Karl Malone and I still have the same number of Championship rings.

Congrats to Mark Blount and Adonal Foyle, for being tall. Both seven-footers have signed six-year, $42 million contracts. I expect this behavior from Golden State, as they've clearly panicked about being somewhat competitive, and have now assured themselves of the sub-par play Warrior fans have grown to accustomed to. Somewhere Eric Musselman is smiling. But the Celtics? They boast a frontline of Mark Blount, Raef LaFrentz, Chris Mihm and Kendrick Perkins, whose collective autographs will sell on Ebay for one nickel. I now truly believe the Red Sox will win a World Series before the Celtics win a title.

What does an offer sheet look like anyways? "I ____________ will play for the Cleveland Cavaliers for $100 million over four years." And if I wrote that down on a piece of paper, and tricked Jim Paxson into signing it, saying, it's a joke....."I promise", would he have to honor it?

Finally, one of my favorite things in sports, is when a player gets traded from one team, and comes back to play that team the next year. Whether that reception is met with boos, or cheers, the questions and answers are all the same. "Is there anything extra tonight, playing against your old team?", answer, "No, it's just another game". RIGHT, and I'm starting for the And 1 Mix Tape team this year, next to "Half Man-Half Amazing". Well, that's all gonna change this year, and I for one am happy, cuz we're FINALLY gonna know how Shaq and Kobe REALLY feel about each other, oh wait, we already do, thank you Stephen A. Smith.

Dante welcomes your comments, questions and alternative opinions. E-mail him here.

Dante’s Speak is solely the opinion of Dante Marchitelli and does not reflect the views of the Orlando Magic or the NBA. Marchitelli has served as radio producer in the Orlando Magic's Broadcast department for six seasons. He also enjoy movies, long strolls on the beach and is a Taurus.