Stuff’s Diary Archive
Look up in the sky. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s…a big, green dragon! Yes, it’s me!!!!
Recently, the NBA league office asked each team mascot to come up with a stunt to promote people in Orlando to watch the NBA Finals on the tube. They started this crazy contest last year, and I got ripped off with second place. After wrestling an 8-foot live alligator, I was beaten by Squatch of the Seattle Supersonics, who sat on a billboard and waved to passing traffic. Sound like a con? I agree.
This year, we decided to go above and beyond again – literally. I say above and beyond because we partnered with the Giant Slingshot on International Drive so that they could launch me 500 feet in the air thirty times in a row! In case that wasn’t enough, I performed it during a rainstorm. Crazy? Most people think so. BUT…
Once again, we were duped. The prize was given as a tie to Clutch from the Houston Rockets, and my previous nemesis, Squatch. The big fat bear rode on a ferris wheel for 24 hours, while the hairy dude played drums on a flatbed trailer while being drove through downtown Seattle. I think we should write our local congressmen, the president, or maybe Santa Claus to find out who is behind this.
Next year, we are going all out! If you have some stupid ideas for me to try, email them to me and let’s see if we can pull it off. Maybe you can even assist me at the event!
On another note, we also just held the 13th Annual Celebrity Mascot Games at the TD Waterhouse Centre. We had thirty mascots from all over the world come in to face off in a beastly battle of furry fun – mascot friends of mine from the NBA, NFL, NHL, MLB, and more. From obstacle courses to jousting to dodge ball, we played out some of the hottest games anyone has ever done.
I even made up a new game called pendulum bowling, where one mascot is tied to a rope that hangs from the rafters 80 feet in the air. When it is time to compete, all the rest of the mascots pull him back as far as they can and let him fly into giant inflatable bowling pins. We almost bowled a perfect score. Call me Kingpin!
When it came time for jousting, Captain Fear from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers drew me for the final showdown. Poor Captain Fear! He got scared and sat down on his pedestal instead of facing me like a pirate. To the victor goes the spoils and even with all his cheating, I came out the champ and made him walk the plank. Now give me your gold, pirate boy!
The following are some special thanks to those who helped out with the event:
Central Florida Sports Commission – they run the event and add the sanity back into the melee.
Pete Sherrard – the Sports Commission’s contact who directs the event. I know he is crazy to still be running this event.
Foto Jo – our photographer for providing outstanding pictures throughout the week. Visit www.fotojo.com
Mascot Moms – Pat and Lee treat us like their kids, all thirty of us, and if they had any real control of us, we would all be in timeout!
Tina Diva – thanks for being my assistant and putting up with me, even through all these outrageous moments, though I know you loved the attention.
Kelly and Brooke – for adding a certain amount of flare to the event this year, entertaining for entertainers.
Stephanie Leavins – a very special friend of the games, who we missed greatly this year. I pray for a speedy and easy recovery for momma.
It was great seeing all the bears and bulls and bison and buccaneers show up again for the big Games! To have so many crazies all together in one spot for an entire week is already monumental. But to do it without anyone getting injured or going nuts…an even bigger feat. Make sure you come out to join us next summer, as we plan on taking the show national and getting it on television. Until next time…
Dragon my heels, but gotta fly…
Who ever thought that a big, crazy, mischievous, energetic, fun-loving dragon would get the honor of performing for hard-working, disciplined, noble, and faithful soldiers overseas? I did.
That’s right…I was invited by Armed Forces Entertainment (AFE), along with the Magic Dancers, to travel overseas and boost morale within the troops that are keeping the peace in the Balkan peninsula. This is a goal I have been working towards since I became a mascot so many years ago. Now that dream has become a reality.
Bosnia, Kosovo, Austria—CHECK!
With all that said, it’s time for a little education:
Lesson one: BALKAN HISTORY
The Balkans is the historic name given to a general region of southeastern Europe, typically referring to approximately 10 to 12different countries. The word “Balkan” refers to an area that is found within the Balkan Mountains range. It is actually an ancient Turkish word, meaning “mountainous terrain with thick forests.” In short, it is over there between Italy, Hungary, and Greece, in the area that used to be known as Yugoslavia. Wow, I continue to amaze myself with my big brain and endless supply of random knowledge! (Getting the information from the encyclopedia doesn’t hurt either.) Oh, and by the way, the weather was frigid: it was so cold, in fact, I took everything out of my freezer and huddled up inside just so I could stay warm.
Lesson two: ENTERTAINMENT
I must admit that I was a little concerned about performing for thousands of soldiers who wanted mostly to see the Magic Dancers shake their bon-bons. (Little did they know that I have a bon-bon too—and it jiggles more than all of the Dancers’ together!) We organized a sweet variety show for the soldiers, which included some fast-paced hip-hop routines, a very cool patriotic segment, cute Christmas dances, angelic singing with elegant ballet…and of course, hilarious comedy skits performed by me! By the end of the hour-long show, their jaws were on the floor—and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because of my hot, sleek, cat-like figure.
Lesson three: APPRECIATION
I was humbled by this trip, to say the least, primarily because we were treated like rock stars. They gave us the best food, the best rooms, the best transportation, asked for hundreds of autographs and photos, showed us around their base, introduced us to some extremely important people, and allowed us to be a part of their lives, even if just for a moment. We certainly did not do anything spectacular and were undeserving of the amazing reception. All we did was travel overseas and do what we love to do. Yet they felt it necessary to tell us thanks? THANK YOU, VETERANS!! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are the people that truly deserve it!!
Lesson four: CAMARADERIE
I know, I know…I am throwing some big words at you in this edition of the diary, but this term is one of the most important among all the soldiers. “Camaraderie” is another word for brotherhood, and is similar to the slogan that we use for the Orlando Magic – Total Team Effort. We went there expecting to see some cool things, but the greatest among these was the way the soldiers bonded. Every person had every other person’s back—literally and unconditionally. We could all learn a lot from these valiant veterans…and I think the Dancers did actually. You should have seen the way the Dancers had to pitch in to help get their entire luggage on the bus. Have you ever seen the amount of baggage it takes for sixteen women to leave home for ten days? Aye, aye, aye…
Lesson five: HEROES
If I didn’t know about patriotism before, I can assure you that I have a better understanding now. The men and women I met had left their comfortable homes and ordinary lives to live in an unknown country among strangers, eating cafeteria-style food, sleeping on cots, carrying machine guns everywhere they go, performing the same activities every single day, without any loved ones nearby, risking their lives with each frozen breath—and for what? You and me! Have no doubt about it—they could have chosen another path, but they are doing it so you and I do not have to. Do not get me wrong though, because the military takes very good care of them with luxuries, activities, and amenities. But still…it is not home! Make sure and hug a vet’s neck next time you see one. That is veteran, not veterinarian!
That’s a wrap! As you can see by the first letter of each lesson, I have spelled out BEACH. (That is called an acronym.) Even though I had an extremely good experience overseas, I am happy to be back near the warm beach that I call home. I am happy to be back with my Magic family and falling down the stairs at the TD Waterhouse Centre once again. Who knows what is next though? Whenever they want me back, all they have to do is call. Iceland, Poland, Iraq—send me! I will come running. (Hint, hint.)
On a completely different note, don’t forget to join us at the January 28th game, where we will be celebrating my birthday at the arena with several of my NBA mascot friends. Wanna see a crazy good time? Be there that night! And if you are not, you can read about it here in my next diary. I leave you with a few more highlights of the trip here. Fall out!!
Highlights: watching thousands of soldiers jump to attention as I began the national anthem on trumpet to open the show… watching a Magic game live via satellite at 4:00 in the morning…meeting the commanding general and having him actually salute me… catching snowflakes on my face in Vienna…visiting the wounded French soldier in the hospital and seeing his face light up when we entered…doing a handstand on top of a Blackhawk helicopter…falling in love with a dancer (no, not really…well, kind of…just kidding…no I’m not…yes I am…)
