Cohen: Hypothetical Team Nicknames

By Josh Cohen
August 18, 2011


ORLANDO -- If there is anything I learned during my childhood while watching Sesame Street on television – well, besides the alphabet, counting, flying like Super Grover and eating as many cookies as you can before your metabolism slows down (thanks Cookie Monster) – it’s to use your imagination.

You see, when you use your imagination, you can be as impractical and extraordinary as you want to be. There are generally no boundaries and it permits for outlandish creativity.

In sports, there is no better time to use your imagination than when creating team nicknames for your fantasy leagues or recreational teams.

Face it fantasy sports freaks, in addition to the times when you can taunt your best friends or worst enemies after a player on your squad contributes significant points, inventing your team name when signing up is a big deal.

We all want that feeling of ridiculous superiority over our fantasy league adversaries when we have the most creative and amusing team nickname. Preposterous indeed, but it’s all a part of the enjoyment and entertainment of participating.

It’s no different in professional sports. Incontrovertibly, when an expansion franchise is approved in a new city, one of the first questions that swirls around is: What’s their team nickname going to be?


Josh Cohen
We all know Los Angeles isn’t really known for its lakes and Salt Lake City is not famous for soothing jazz, but those two NBA franchises get a pass since they are products of relocation (plenty of lakes in Minneapolis and New Orleans is the jazz capital of the world). Otherwise, it’s a great debate to have amongst your basketball buddies to determine if each current NBA city has the best possible team nickname.

Rather than argue about that specifically, though, some of my colleagues and I decided to consider possible nicknames for cities that don’t presently have NBA franchises.

Many of our nicknames have hidden meaning. As a result, it may not click at first as to how a particular nickname coincides with its corresponding city. But, if you analyze it deeply enough you will discover that there is at least some sort of attachment.

After glancing at our nicknames, feel free to come up with your own either for the cities that are mentioned in this table or for any other non NBA-city by emailing them here.



John Denton

Josh Cohen

Elizabeth Brett

Bill Richards
Tampa Bay
City Slickers
Gulfers
Raindrops
Bandwagoners
Jacksonville
Californians
Five
Felines
South Georgians
Kansas City
Field of Dreams
Heart
Musicians
Show Me's
Baltimore
Crab Cakes
Bullies
Ducks
Wire Taps
San Diego
Cool Breezes
Sandals
Earthquakes
Comic-Conzies
Pittsburgh
Ghosts
Batmen
Parrots
Pansies
Birmingham
Zeroes
Accents
Cattle
Free Birds
Las Vegas
Champions
Entertainers
Luck
Baby's
Omaha
Nowledge
Osprey
Warblers
Ha's
Montreal
Ghosts II
Freeze
Sticks
Steaks



Which city do you think would be best fit for an expansion NBA franchise?
Which city do you think would be best fit for an expansion NBA franchise?
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