That's What She Said: New Orleans...Pelicans

Posted by Melanie Curtsinger, Thursday, December 6, 2012, 11:45 AM

New Orleans...Pelicans

On the heels of the news that the New Orleans Hornets may be changing their name to the New Orleans Pelicans as early as next season, I can’t help to stop and think – so not only did someone think this was a good idea, but then this person got a whole bunch of other people to agree with them as well?

For me, pelicans conjure up more of an image of Scuttle from the Little Mermaid than it does daunting NBA opponent. Did you ever think you would say, “I can’t wait to see the Pelicans play tonight!” Yep, neither did the rest of the world (except, once again, for those few people in New Orleans who thought this was a good idea).

For what it’s worth, there is another professional team in the world with the nickname Pelicans – the Lahti Pelicans in Finland. I guess that makes it more acceptable, seeing as how a bunch of people from Finland also somehow thought that was a good thing to name their team (which brings me to another question – are there even pelicans in Finland?). So now, in honor of both the New Orleans and Lahti Pelicans, let’s take a look at some of the other absurd team nicknames in professional sports (we won’t even touch the collegiate ranks – the Stanford Cardinal (why must it be singular?), the Duke Blue Devils (OK, Duke is evil, so I can understand this one), the Alabama Crimson Tide (I’ve got nothing for you on this one).

Here we go!

• Milwaukee Brewers – Sure, it’s a take on the history of their city, but why don’t they just call themselves the Milwaukee Drunkards? I guess Wisconsin doesn’t have much else to offer, seeing as how the other famous pro team in the state has its fans wearing blocks of cheese on their heads.

• Colorado Avalanche, Carolina Hurricanes, Tampa Bay Lightning, Oklahoma City Thunder – Perhaps all teams should just consult the Weather Channel before coming up with their team monikers. I mean, next thing you know, we’ll have a Florida team nicknamed after our hot weather. Oh, wait…

• Utah Jazz – I have never been there, but is Utah very jazzy? I can think of a few things Utah might be, but known for its Jazz isn’t one of them. Can’t they just lend that back to New Orleans and come up with a bad nickname of their own, like the Utah Mountains or the Utah Salty Lakes?

• Minnesota Wild – I mean, they have twin cities, a lot of lakes, cold weather and a big mall… but wild? Just not seeing it.

• Tampa Bay Rays – There has been so much controversy over this team name over the years. First, the word “Devil” was dropped from their name and since this team isn’t even in Tampa, it doesn’t quite make sense. But, neither does having an MLB team with an indoor facility and a tank full of sting rays in their outfield either, so go figure.

• And the winner for the most unoriginal nickname of all time goes to… the Houston Texans! Maybe New Orleans should’ve copied them and just named themselves the Louisianans. I’m even thinking of starting a petition to change our name to the Orlando Floridians, and our mascot can either be a surfboard or an older retiree. For what it’s worth, it has also been reported that the Brooklyn Nets took out a copyright awhile ago for the name “Brooklyn New Yorkers,” because, you know, the name Brooklyn didn’t make that obvious already.

Do you have any thoughts on some of the other worst-named teams in professional sports? Follow me on Twitter at @Magic_TWSS and let me know your thoughts today!