Kobe vs. the Clips

In a few hours, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and all the networks are going to be projecting states either blue or red.

Not to be lost in the mix, has projected certain categories in a race between the L.A. Lakers and Clippers, leading into Wednesday evening’s game at STAPLES Center.
Note: These projections have a human error factor of 15% … Thanks for playing.

Most Likely to Fall Down in a Strong Wind projects: Marcus Camby
Note: He’s 6-11, but weighs only 235 pounds (by comparison, Clippers forward Paul Davis is 6-11, 270). Plus, the name "Camby" is very close to “Gumby.” Ariza, you almost won this one too ... Be happy you were selected for a much cooler category … Like:

Most Likely to Throw Down A Hammer Dunk: projects: Trevor Ariza
Note: Just watch him on the fast break; Ariza brings the ball as high into the air as his wiry arms allow. Then … Boom. He dunks really hard for being so skinny. Maybe we should say "wiry" instead of skinny.

Most Likely to Score 40 projects: Kobe Bryant
Note: Whether or not Kobe scores 40 generally depends on whether or not he wants to score 40. He won’t need to against the Clippers, but he remains the most likely candidate.

Most Likely to Not See Enough Minutes projects: Eric Gordon
Note: The Clippers are 0-4, but have managed to get their No. 7 overall pick on the floor for just 23 minutes! That’s 14 minutes in game one, then two, four and three despite the fact that the Clips have been blown out in every game. Wouldn’t that be a good time to play your rookie?

Most Likely to Take the Check at Dinner: projects: Lamar Odom/Kobe
Note: Pick ‘em. Kobe paid for the team’s dinner before each round of the playoffs last season, while Odom’s generosity is well-documented by anyone that knows him. The point here: Go ahead Sun Yue, order the filet!

Most Likely to Play Great in the First Half and Struggle in the Second Half: projects: Tim Thomas
Note: On Monday night in a drubbing by the Jazz, the Clippers TV announcers mentioned how Thomas simply isn’t in good shape and gets tired in the second half. At least the Lakers second unit doesn’t like to run…

Chris Kaman

Most Likely to Have the Best Hair Cut projects: Chris Kaman
Note: There is no human error in this category. Landslide.

Most Likely to Block Three Shots projects: Andrew Bynum
Note: Bynum’s swatted three shots in 2-of-3 games, and his shoulder is just fine (he fully participated in practice on Tuesday). Marcus Camby will probably block more than three shots.

Most Likely to Be Elected to Office: projects: Derek Fisher
Note: Duh.

Most Likely to Get T’ed Up: projects: Phil Jackson
Note: Not. Phil doesn’t seem too upset with how things are going right now. Let’s go ahead and switch this answer over to Mike Dunleavy. Yeah.

OK, that’ll be all. The game tips off at 7:30 p.m.