Adam Morrison: Toast, Mustaches and Oregon Trail

Morrison

Adam Morrison’s focus, at the moment, is trained solely on finding a way to earn minutes on what is (somewhat arguably) the league’s deepest and most talented roster.

Yet that didn’t stop the 6-8 forward from sitting down with us after practice to talk about toast, facial hair role models, “Rage Against the Machine” t-shirts and Dwight Shrute. After a few minutes with the Gonzaga product, it’s a bit more clear why his teammates consider him among the funniest Lakers in the locker room.

ToastMT: Rumor has it you’re a great chef. Can you talk about some of your specialties?
Morrison: Toast.

MT: Right. What’s your plan of attack when, uh, cooking (?) a piece of bread?
Morrison: I usually stay between four and five on the knob you adjust for temperature. If I’m feeling really crafty, I’ll go six, but four and five is where I like. I go for a lighter toast. I prefer peanut butter as the main topping, but you have to add butter on there for the extra cholesterol. You know, butter the toast to get it nice and soft, then add the peanut butter on top to give it a nice texture. It’s unhealthy, but that’s why it tastes so good.

MT: A well-planned, advanced skill…
Morrison: Yeah, I mean I’ve been doing it since I was six when my parents first let me use a toaster. Nineteen years of experience isn’t bad.

MT: True. So Pau Gasol is set to appear on “CSI Miami”, and Jordan Farmar was on “Numb3rs” the other day. What’s the ideal show for an Adam Morrison guest spot? Can I suggest the new “Melrose Place,” “The Office” or “Criminal Minds.”
Morrison: I think “The Office” would be my favorite to be on because I’m a big Dwight Schrute fan - Rainn Wilson. Steve Carell is also funny (as Michael Scott), so I’d like to make a guest appearance. Maybe I could come in and talk about “Battlestar Galactica” with Dwight, one of his favorite shows.

MT: In other TV news, which Laker do you think would have the best chance of winning MTV’s “The Ruins?”
Morrison: I don’t watch MTV anymore. It’s not music television any more. They don’t show videos anymore. When do they show videos? (pauses)…

DwightMT: I suppose not until late at night.
Morrison: Exactly. There’s nothing wrong with it, I’m just not as interested in that programming other than “Cribs” once in a while. I like “The Office,” “Family Guy” and the History Channel. Lots of History Channel.

MT: Fair enough. Solely in terms of facial hair, which athletes did you look up to as a kid?
Morrison: I remember Black Jack McDowell*, the pitcher that flipped off the crowd and had the ‘stache going. Larry Bird had a little ‘stache growing too, but I just grew mine because I could. I’m proud of myself.
*The former right-handed pitcher played for the Chicago White Sox for the majority of his career and is now a musician with the rock band “Stickfigure.”

MT: Tell us more…
Morrison: Well, one of my teammates in college dared me to play with a mustache all year when we were joking back and forth, and it kind of grew an identity of its own.

MT: Do you see yourself as a role model to youngsters out there looking to grow their own facial hair?
Morrison: No. I want little kids to aspire to go above and beyond my facial hair capabilities.

MT: How would you describe yourself in 140 characters. You know, like on Twitter.
Morrison: I don’t Twitter, I’ve never been on the site, I don’t look up anyone’s Twitter account.

MT: OK. My bad. Which player would you most like to dunk on?
Morrison: Anybody. Anyone.

MT: Having moved all around Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota and Washington, then playing in North Carolina and now California, can you rank the states you’ve lived in?
Morrison: Sure – 1A, Washington; 1B, California; 3, Montana; 4, I guess South Dakota, but I can’t even give a fair estimate because I was too little; 5, North Carolina, a good place as far as living but I didn’t like how hot and flat it was; 6, Wyoming.

MT: What can you tell us about Wyoming?
Morrison: It’s really windy. All the time. Honestly.

MT: I’d ask you what three things you’d bring to a deserted island, but instead I’m going to guess: A TV, an XBOX 360 and FIFA 2010.
Morrison: Yeah. That’s up there. An iPod might be up there too, but you could cheat by having an XBOX with an iPod loaded onto it, including movies and all that. FIFA 2010 of course, and then FIFA 2011 if I’m still alive.

Oregon TrailMT: Here’s a list of some things that happened in 1984, the year you were born: The Apple Macintosh was introduced; Michael Jackson won a record eight Grammy’s, but his hair caught on fire during a Pepsi commercial; and the Soviet Union boycotted the L.A. Olympics.
Morrison: I played “Oregon Trail” and “Sim City.” I actually still remember the cheat code for “Sim City” and I still remember it. After you type it in, you have to keep hitting four keys and your money would go up. I can understand Michael Jackson winning Grammy’s and having his hair on fire, and the communism and capitalism conflict was unfair to both American and Soviet athletes. What else happened in 1984?

MT: That’s it. Let’s fast forward to 2006. Did you really play online video games with J.J. Redick, then a Duke star and your rival for Player of the Year honors, or was that a media stunt?
Morrison: We really did, we actually did a special where we were both playing. But it wasn’t as big a deal as they made it seem like. Just the thing with two small schools, white guy shooters … It wasn’t like we were soul mates, we were just buddies.

MT: What might you have been wearing to school circa 1998 as a 14-year old freshman in high school? Any patches on your backpack celebrating your favorite bands or anything?
Morrison: I had a lot of “Rage Against the Machine” shirts and I still do now. I wore jeans and t-shirts every day, sometimes shorts. I’d usually roll with the year before’s basketball shoes. I was kind of a dork, I really didn’t talk to people too much, and basically dressed like any dorky jock.

MT: Lots of team-issued gear at Gonzaga, right?
Morrison: Yeah, in college it got worse. I wore sweats every day. Just showed up at class, put my time in and go to practice. I was kind of an anti-social person.

MT: Favorite subject?
Morrison: History, I loved it. I liked all the communist, Leninist and Marxism material. I took a few citizenship classes in college, and our teacher covered a lot of areas that involved those subjects. Very interesting.

MT: All right Adam, thanks for the time.
Morrison. No problem.