What if you get the sense that your parents EXPECT YOU TO BE THE STAR of the team? How do you deal with the disappointment your parents may have with you if you don’t score a lot of points, or grab enough rebounds? Maybe you are one of the lucky players whose parents are completely supportive of your decision to play basketball and don’t make you feel as though they expect certain results. If so, then great. But the reality is that many young players have parents — no matter how much they love and support their own children — who add unnecessary pressure to their young player’s basketball participation. Here are a few tips on dealing with this tough situation:

• Make sure your parents read the Jr. NBA/Jr. WNBA Parent’s Guide that they should receive from your coach. After reviewing their own guide, your parents should have a better idea of how to deal with you as a youth basketball player.
• If the guide doesn’t help, talk to your coach. Remember, good communication with your coach is a key element in a positive basketball experience for you as a player. Part of the coach’s job is to make sure parents understand how hard it is for players to learn and play the game while trying to please Mom and Dad.
• If the problem persists, it’s time to sit down with your parents and explain your feelings. Maybe something like, “Mom, Dad, I love you but I’m playing basketball because I like the game — not because you want me to play, or want me to become a star.” Try not to confront your parents, just open up and let them know your feelings. You might find that they never really realized that they were putting pressure on you. If you don’t address the issue, it will most likely never get better. Have faith that your parents will come to understand that it’s your game, not theirs.

DEALING WITH THE DREADED “P.G.A.”
P.G.A. stands for “Post-Game Analysis” and it refers to the detailed analysis some parents give young players immediately following a game.

Although most parents mean well (“I only want to go over the game while it’s still fresh in your mind…”), they forget you just played the game. You might be a little tired, or you might not be very interested in rehashing something that just took place.

Here’s a suggestion. If you become the victim of a P.G.A. from your Mom or Dad, as nicely as possible say “I’d like to hear your thoughts about my game, but can we discuss it later — maybe over dinner or before I go to bed?”

Don’t worry. Your Mom or Dad will get the message and postpone comments for a later time when you’re ready to hear them.