C'mon Hornets fans, let's make some nooo-ooooooooooiise!
As Hornets.com's new columnist, I'd like to take a minute to introduce myself. My friends all call me Hornet Henry, since I take a considerable amount of pride in being the galaxy's most loyal and rabid Hornets fan.
I feel like I've won the lottery today, because after an exhaustive campaign that included approximately 8 1/2 years of begging and pleading, I finally convinced the Hornets to let me provide my two cents on their Web site.
You may be asking: What makes me think I'm the world's biggest Hornets fan? And why are the Hornets so important to me?
Well, I've pondered those questions countless times myself, especially on those occasions when I was forced to miss minor family events such as weddings and graduations, because those gatherings conflicted with a big Hornets game.
Being a true Hornets fan means cheering for the teal and gold through thick and thin, no matter what. The Hornets have consistently been a winning squad since almost Day 1 of the franchise, but there have also been some lean times that tested the staying power of fans such as yours truly.
Like for example, the entire 2004-05 season, when our boys won a mere 18 games out of 82. I still say that team could have benefited from my lethal outside jump shot, which I use nowadays to dominate the helpless ballplayers at the local YMCA.
Sure, now that I'm in my mid-40s, I've probably lost a step or six on D, but give me a point guard like CP3 and I'm sure I could provide a Dell Curry-like offensive spark off the bench (speaking of my old buddy, hey Dell, please accept my apology, and I promise to continue complying with the terms of the restraining order!).
A couple days have passed since the NBA draft, and it remains painfully obvious that the league's most underrated general manager, Jeff Bower, and coach Byron Scott pulled off another fast one on the rest of the Association. Fortuitously enough, the teams picking before the Hornets all simultaneously sustained momentary brainlock, allowing us to select BOTH Hilton Armstrong and Cedric Simmons.
There are several theories floating around the Net about what actually caused the teams selecting before the Hornets to pass up on the Teal Towers™, but I've developed a theory of my own that explains it all.
OK, listen closely: With ESPN piping in periodic live video feeds of the Hornets' draft room to a national TV audience, it gave the rest of the league's teams all-too-frequent glimpses of Lord Byron's menacing glare and overall intimidating presence – and in full HDTV color no less. Fearing the worst had they foiled Bower and BScott's master plan involving the Teal Towers™, these other squads' GMs simply decided to take the easy way out… and picked someone else. Can you blame them? Cross Lord Byron at your own peril, fellas.
The thing I like the most about the Teal Towers™ is that they figure to administer some needed physical play to opponents who visit the Hive next season. In fact, in a draft workout a couple weeks back, Cedric the Entertainer showed the Hornets he wasn't playing around by delivering an elbow to his future Teal Towers™ tag-team partner, The Hilt. Ced later smiled and said he hoped that the Hornets wouldn't think he was a “dirty player” (wink, wink). All I can say is bravo, Ced!
One other thing: Keep an eye out for this Marcus Vinicius kid from Brazil. Word on the street is that he could have been a first-rounder, that he can flat-out play and that he shot the lights out when the Hornets worked him out a few weeks back. Furthermore, he speaks fluent Portuguese, despite never having resided a day of his 22-plus years in Portugal. Talk about upside!
Come to think of it, it appears as though Lord Byron's icy and daunting stare was just as ruthlessly effective in Round 2…
Well, that should do it for now. Check Hornets.com for more updates from Hornet Henry – as long as they don't pull the plug on me!

Until next time, Hornets fans, whose ball is it?
HORNETS BALL!!!!
Hornet Henry

READ MORE: Hornet Henry's Top 5 Games from 2005-06

The opinions of Hornet Henry do not reflect the views of the NBA, the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets nor Hornets.com.