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Hornet Henry: 2006-07 NBA Fantasy Draft
October 18, 2006
OK Hornets fans, it’s time to make some (fantasy basketball draft) noooo-oooise! With the 2006-07 campaign approaching quickly, I am thoroughly pumped about the dawn of another thrilling season of fantasy hoops. As an avid fan of roundball, I participate annually in 14 different leagues. However, none of those circuits is as competitive and mentally grueling as the one I organize with five of my closest friends. Although the Hornet Henry Experts League™ has been around for nearly two decades, I am still seeking my first championship. Chalk it up to bad luck or the fantasy gods not being in my corner, but I have yet to earn the right to pour champagne over my cranium at the close of an NBA season. Given the shady cast of characters who have been long-term members of the HH Experts League™, I do occasionally become suspicious that some underhanded dealings are taking place, but since I serve as Commish, make all the rules and govern with an iron fist, that can’t be the reason that I haven’t captured the big enchilada. Anyway, our league recently held its 2006-07 draft at the home of yours truly and Mrs. Hornet Henry, who also has not won a league crown. Her lack of bling bling can be easily explained, however, as she often does not actually examine statistics when selecting players. No, Mrs. Hornet Henry is much more apt to be swayed by categories such as hairstyle and grooming habits, as opposed to conventional departments like points and rebounds. The other participants include three long-term friends of mine, with varied questionable backgrounds: T-Bone, Big Mike and B-Dogg, who are old frat brothers from my days at the U. Meanwhile, Thurston is the most erudite of the group – not that that’s saying a lot – and is always the most prepared for the selection process. Thurston usually brings eight fantasy guides to the war room, as well as pie charts and a slide rule. I have a very good feeling about my squad this season, and you will see why after you take a gander at some of my shrewd selections. Without further adieu, here is a round-by-round recap of the festivities, with comments on the picks provided by yours truly, fantasy guru Hornet Henry (aka Rick Kamla Jr.): FIRST ROUND 1, HORNET HENRY: Chris Paul, Hornets, guard. Let the triple-doubles begin! This pick was a no-brainer. 2, BIG MIKE: LeBron James, Cavaliers, forward. 3, B-DOGG: Kobe Bryant, Lakers, guard. 4, THURSTON: Dwyane Wade, Heat, guard. I can’t really quibble with this pick, particularly if the “human electric fencing” policy of the NBA Finals continues. You know, the one in which defenders who make the mistake of wandering within three feet of DWade are rung up for personal fouls. 5, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Kevin Garnett, Timberwolves, forward. 6, T-BONE: Tim Duncan, Spurs, forward. Hornet Henry doesn’t even list Spurs players on his draft board. Or Mavericks. Or Rockets. Or Grizzlies. Or Lakers…
7, T-BONE: Dirk Nowitzki, Mavericks, forward. 8, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Andrei Kirilenko, Jazz, forward. Mrs. Hornet Henry maintained that she would’ve taken Steve Nash at this spot, but she refused to do so after the Canadian’s decision to “shave off those majestic locks of his” this summer. 9, THURSTON: Elton Brand, Clippers, forward. 10, B-DOGG: Steve Nash, Suns, guard. 11, BIG MIKE: Chris Bosh, Raptors, forward. I let out a huge scream when Mike squandered this pick by taking a vastly inferior player compared to the man at the top of my draft board. With the next two picks belonging to me, I’m already thinking “championship.” 12, HORNET HENRY: David West, Hornets, forward. Scoring, rebounding, free-throw accuracy, plus an intimidating scowl. If only I could convince these other clowns (not you, Mrs. HH) to add “clutch baskets” as a statistical category – then I’d really be in business. How D West lasted this long is beyond me. THIRD ROUND 13, HORNET HENRY: Peja Stojakovic, Hornets, guard. It’s almost become a cliché – the old axiom that says every title-contending fantasy team must have a member who sports formidable facial hair. The Serbian Sensation’s perma-stubble is just what the fantasy doctor ordered. Peja also brings 3-point prowess and a gentlemanly nature to the HH roster. 14, BIG MIKE: Allen Iverson, 76ers, guard. Big Mike already had two forwards on his squad in LeBron and Bosh, and was looking for a point guard to not pass them the ball. It was far too early to grab Stephon Marbury, so AI is the wise pick. 15, B-DOGG: Shawn Marion, Suns, forward. 16, THURSTON: Michael Redd, Bucks, guard. 17, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Ray Allen, SuperSonics, guard. My better half “officially” selected the sharpshooter based on his unstoppable offensive game, but I have my suspicions that a bigger factor was Allen’s Oscar-worthy performance in “He Got Game.” 18, T-BONE: Shaquille O’Neal, Heat, center. I would question the intelligence of taking Shaq this early in the draft given his declining stats, but then again, Shaq is 7-foot-1, 325 pounds and presumably has Internet access. FOURTH ROUND 19, T-BONE: Pau Gasol, Grizzlies, forward. OK, taking Shaq too early was one thing. But taking a guy with the very next pick who will miss the first two months of the season is another thing altogether! That settles it – we’re banning alcohol at next year’s draft. T-Bone was about eight brewskis in when he made this pick, which doesn’t bode well for his late-round decision-making. 20, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Tony Parker, Spurs, guard: Since Mrs. Hornet Henry is a huge Desperate Housewives fan, she had heard of him and figured what the heck… 21, THURSTON: Yao Ming, Rockets, center. 22, B-DOGG: Gilbert Arenas, Wizards, guard. 23, BIG MIKE: Tracy McGrady, Rockets, guard. 24, HORNET HENRY: Desmond Mason, Hornets, forward. Jackpot! D Mase is a one-man highlight reel on the fast break and has been working diligently on his jump shot all summer. Add it up and you have a veritable fantasy bonanza. FIFTH ROUND 25, HORNET HENRY: Tyson Chandler, Hornets, center. This draft is working out even better than I could have ever imagined. Halfway through the proceedings, I have now filled out my entire starting lineup, including landing the best center available in Ty Lob. Sure, there may have been some more “well-known” pivotmen on the board, but Tyson’s goal is to become an All-Star. See you in Vegas this February! 26, BIG MIKE: Paul Pierce, Celtics, guard. 27, B-DOGG: Jermaine O’Neal, Pacers, center. 28, THURSTON: Dwight Howard, Magic, forward. 29, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Chris Kaman, Clippers, center. A reach? Without a doubt. But the Missus needed a center badly, and she absolutely adores the way Kaman’s hair flops up and down when he runs. 30, T-BONE: Damon Stoudamire, Grizzlies, guard. All of us were pretty sure T-Bone actually meant “Amare Stoudemire” when he turned in this pick to the Commish, but the man was working on cerveza No. 10 by this point of the draft.
31, T-BONE: Amare Stoudemire, Suns, center. Yep, we were right. 32, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Mike Miller, Grizzlies, forward. With her starting lineup complete, America’s greatest wife and mother of four was looking for bench help. So why not draft last season’s NBA Sixth Man of the Year? The Missus is no dummy. 33, THURSTON: Jason Kidd, Nets, guard. 34, B-DOGG: Lamar Odom, Lakers, forward. 35, BIG MIKE: Marcus Camby, Nuggets, center. 36, HORNET HENRY: Bobby Jackson, Hornets, guard. Ha ha! Bulldog Bobby lasted until the sixth round? Apparently T-Bone wasn’t the only one partaking in some adult beverages on this night. This pick was the steal of the draft so far. BJax brings intensity, ballhandling skills, shooting prowess and a decade of gritty play to the fantasy table. SEVENTH ROUND 37, HORNET HENRY: Marc Jackson, Hornets, center. My only regret is that – as El Presidente of the Marc Jackson Fan Club – I did not select him earlier. The rank-and-file members of the MJFC may be none too pleased that Big Marc went this late. 38, BIG MIKE: Chauncey Billups, Pistons, guard. 39, B-DOGG: Joe Johnson, Hawks, guard. 40, THURSTON: Vince Carter, Nets, guard. 41, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Boris Diaw, Suns, forward. 42, T-BONE: Salim Stoudamire, Hawks, guard. T-Bone said he thought it would be hilarious to have another Stouda(e)mire on his team. EIGHTH ROUND 43, T-BONE: Mehmet Okur, Jazz center. 44, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Dan Dickau, Trail Blazers, guard. The world’s greatest spouse swoons over Dan The Man’s curly locks. 45, THURSTON: Hilton Armstrong, Hornets, forward. Usually Hornet Henry is a calm, cool and collected soul, but Thurston and I nearly came to blows over this one. Thank goodness Mrs. HH was there to separate us. Clearly, Thurston knew I wanted The Hilt with my next pick and was just trying to get my goat. It worked. 46, B-DOGG: Rashard Lewis, SuperSonics, forward. 47, BIG MIKE: Mike Bibby, Kings, guard. 48, HORNET HENRY: Carmelo Anthony, Nuggets, forward (traded for Hilton Armstrong). I called Thurston’s bluff by taking the guy I knew he really wanted, Carmelo, then immediately negotiated an Armstrong-for-Anthony trade. I have to admit that I feel a little guilty about the one-sided nature of the deal in my favor. The upside is I now have one of the coveted Teal Towers in the fold.
49, HORNET HENRY: Cedric Simmons, Hornets, forward. Both Teal Towers on the same fantasy roster! Everyone else might as well fork over their league entry fee right now. Cedric The Entertainer adds size, youthful energy and quality depth to an already loaded HH lineup. 50, BIG MIKE: Gerald Wallace, Bobcats, guard. 51, B-DOGG: Ron Artest, Kings, forward. 52, THURSTON: Brad Miller, Kings, forward. 53, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Ben Wallace, Bulls, center. 54, T-BONE: Othella Harrington, Bobcats, center. He meant to pick Al Harrington. TENTH ROUND 55, T-BONE: Al Harrington, Pacers, forward. 56, MRS. HORNET HENRY: Bob Licht, Hornets, broadcaster. The wife has done little to conceal her ever-present crush on the Hornets’ TV play-by-play guy in the past, but this has gotten out of hand. 57, THURSTON: Richard Jefferson, Nets, forward. 58, B-DOGG: Jason Richardson, Warriors, guard. 59, BIG MIKE: Rasheed Wallace, Pistons, forward. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yeah, how can you not second-guess this pick, with the likes of Rasual Butler, Linton Johnson and Brandon Bass still available at forward? 60, HORNET HENRY: Dell Curry, AARP, guard. Sure, the legendary Curry has been retired from the NBA since 2001-02, but everyone also said Michael Jordan would never play in the league again and MJ came back – twice! When the sharpshooter extraordinaire comes around and realizes he’s still got hundreds of 3-pointers left in him, this pick could be the one that puts me over the top… (International) Mailbag Here are some of the most interesting e-mails sent to me over the past few weeks, including a couple from my overseas fans. You can tell me your thoughts on the Hornets by sending an e-mail to hornethenry@hornets.com. Hornet Henry, I am from Argentina. My English, it’s not good as you see, but I want to ask you some questions because I’m a Hornets fan since I like basketball. Do you think that the Hornets can pass to the playoffs? How do you see the rookies this season? I don’t know anything about them because here the NCAA doesn’t exist. Well, my best wishes for you and the Hornets! – Juan En Español: Hola, Juan. Gracias por el correo electronico. Yo Creo que los Hornets harán las finales en 2006-07, aunque la competencia sea violentas en la Conferencia Occidental. Tan largo como todos permanece relativamente herida-liberta, es práctico pensar que los Hornets serán capaces de asegurar un lugar en las finales. Los novatos tienen el potencial infinito para hacer un impacto en el NBA. Pero, especialmente en caso de Hilton Armstrong, su papel en el colegio fue limitado por el talento increíble que lo rodea en Connecticut. Y por eso, los novatos necesitarán tiempo para ajustar al juego profesional. – HH (In English: Hello Juan. Thanks for sending the e-mail. I believe the Hornets will make the playoffs this season, although the competition is fierce in the Western Conference. As long as everyone stays relatively injury-free, it’s realistic to think the Hornets will be able to secure a postseason berth. The rookies have infinite potential to make an impact in the NBA, although it might take a little while for them to adjust to playing in the pros. Particularly in Hilton Armstrong’s case, his role in college was limited by the incredible talent surrounding him at Connecticut. I think he has only scratched the surface in terms of what he can accomplish as a basketball player. – HH) Hornet Henry, Hello sir, I am a fan of Mr. Predrag Stojakovic. I’m from Philippines. I’m a fan of him since he was just a rookie in Sacramento Kings, traded to Indiana, signed by Indiana and traded here. I have followed the team where he goes because I like his 3-point capabilities. I like playing NBA Live 2004-2006 and I can’t wait to play the new NBA Live 2007, because I don’t have a copy of it yet. But I think that it is an awesome game again. – John Everyone is looking forward to watching Peja play this season in his new teal and gold duds. Like you, I have followed him throughout his career and always thought he was one of the most fun players to watch in the NBA. You have to love his pinpoint shooting and unselfish style of play. As far as NBA Live goes, since I am a 40-something, I have to admit that I have not picked up a video-game controller in quite some time. In fact, I believe the last time I played was on a state-of-the-art Atari system during the first half of the Reagan administration. However, let the record show that Hornet Henry regularly dominated the competition in classics such as Frogger, Pong, Space Invaders, Contra, Asteroids, Breakout and RBI Baseball, just to name a few. – HH (Domestic) Mailbag Hornet Henry, I’m here in Miami, Florida. Chilling with Trick Daddy Dollars. Need the rookies in Miami. – Clay Clay, since I always go to extreme lengths in order to please my readers – especially Trick Daddy fans, who comprise a large percentage of the Hornet Henry audience – I am willing to make you a promise. Barring injury or unforeseen circumstances, it’s a Hornet Henry Guarantee™ that the Hornets’ rookies will make another appearance in your fine city of Miami on Monday, Dec. 18. Ask and you shall receive, my friend. – HH The opinions of Hornet Henry do not reflect the views of the NBA, the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets nor Hornets.com.
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