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There are two things I need to stop doing: Chewing on my kids' trains made in China and picking against Bill Simmons. The first of the two could have very well led to a significant loss of brain cells, which could help explain my poor assessment of Celeb League talent (hence, the second mistake). Bill curses teams. I knew that picking against him was a bad idea considering Samuel L. Jackson was being forced to bench Amare Stoudemire. Stupid lead poisoning.

Or maybe I need to stop picking Sam to win. In either case, I've been wrong each week. Let's make a note of that for the Week 3 predictions.

Before I go there, let's highlight a few of our celebrity roster moves that were processed this past week.

Donald Faison drops Hakim Warrick, adds no one.
Faison is out to prove that in a scoring system that allows for negative points, adding no one may be better than keeping Hakim Warrick on your fantasy team.

Adam McKay drops Steve Francis, adds Sebastian Telfair.
After the draft, McKay had this to say about Francis: "...any time that guy plays, he gives 15, five, and five. That could have been a steal considering that's basically like a waiver pick that late." Franchise wasn't basically like a waiver pick , he was exactly that.

James Denton drops Chucky Atkins, adds Mike James.
At least Mike James is playing!

Faison will have a hard time making up three games

Bill Simmons drops Walter Herrmann, adds Mike Bibby.
Wait. Simmons loved Herrmann. ("But my two favorite picks were Walter Herrmann and Hedo Turkoglu simply because they are going to play an insane amount of minutes this season and I was apparently the only person in the draft who realized this.") Hard to knock Bill here, considering there is no reason Bibby should have been available in the first place. It should be noted that Bibby was available in the first place because he was dropped by Kenny Smith.

Let's get to this week's predictions...

Samuel L. Jackson vs. Kenny Smith
No reason to analyze this. Each time I pick Sam to win, he loses. There is only one choice here.
Prediction: Kenny can't find a way to lose.

Bernie Mac vs. Bill Simmons
See above. I pick Bill to lose, he wins. I have to face facts. Bill wins.
Prediction: Bill continues his undefeated season.

Zach Gilford vs. James Denton
I ripped Denton last week, but he came out strong and took care of Adam McKay. Gilford is undefeated, but has the third most fantasy points in the league. Some would say he's on a roll, but I say he's due to lose.
Prediction: Denton ends Gilford's run.

Spike Lee vs. Adam McKay
This is going to be a high scoring match-up, if only because both teams have a high number of games this week. This one could go either way. Spike has three games from Nash and Jefferson; McKay has three from Arenas, Grant Hill and Brendan Haywood. Spike has one extra game overall....
Prediction: Give me McKay and a mulligan.

Will Ferrell vs. Donald Faison
Both celebs posted big performances in Week 2, with Ferrell netting 858.86 and Faison 867.02. Ferrell is loaded with 34 games and Faison -- even with Garnett -- will have a hard time making up for the three game disparity.
Prediction: Will Ferrell in a shoot-out.

George Lopez vs. Tony Potts
Tony Potts has been the surprise team so far, going 2-0 behind Gilford and Simmons. If the Celeb League was an actual sports league, sports pundits across the country would be jumping on his bandwagon, raving about how Potts is "for real" and "has what it takes to win." Of course, after two embarrassing losses, we'd all forget those comments were ever made in the first place.
Prediction: Lopez.

Good luck, and may all my predictions come true!