By Guy Lake and Tom Lorenzo, TalentedMrRoto.com
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GUY: It is always great when you get e-mails from your readers. Yes, this means you too, Mom. Tom, your mom, on the other hand, can cool it. How many ways can a man say he's not interested? Mrs. Lorenzo, I am sorry you aren't satisfied by your husband's less than engorged dinner conversation, but I am not coming over for Easter. With that off my chest, last week's emails were especially prolific. It helps when you mangle, er, invent, a Spanish expression like we did last week. OK, "we" might be stretching it but it is a collective effort here at Are You For Real. In trying to be clever in my intro to Jose Calderon I asked ¿Está usted para verdadero? As in "Are You For Real?" Jorge Saldaña, of Chile, wrote to us that this made no sense at all and that the closest he could come up with was ¿Es usted de verdad? Reader Rafa Candau also jumped in with a great suggestion: "If you don't mind, just put right translation like ¿Es sólo una racha? It can mean in English, 'Is it just a streak?' Because there's no exact translation to ‘for real.’” Thanks for the suggestions, guys, and for the lack of insult. I screwed up but did not mean to offend our Spanish-speaking readers. How cool is it that we have guys playing fantasy hoops in Chile? More than baseball or certainly American football, fantasy basketball is being adopted overseas. It is an international game on the court and in fantasy.
TOM: Alright, Guy, I'll pass that message along to my mom. It's nothing a pint of ice cream and Sleepless In Seattle won't fix. But as far as your, I mean "our" (collective effort my….), snafu is concerned, I have to mention that there was one reader e-mail that I received which really stood for me this week. The reader, let's call him - "Angry," from parts unknown, wrote: "I don't know why you guys are always bad mouthing individual players. I bet you couldn't even shoot a damn basketball…Maybe try focusing on the positive and quit being a hate monger." Let me first explain a thing or two to Justin (whoops!) and all those who feel like we are breeding hate through our fantasy opinions. First, Jose Calderon is a "real" person. He's not a cyborg, centaur, or bag of potato chips. He's a real person and when we cite that he is "not real," we also don't mean he can't play basketball at a level better than Guy or myself. In fact, all the 'TV timeouts' in the world wouldn't help me in a one-on-one game against Jose, or any of the players we touch on for that matter. The reason why we state that a player is "real" or "not real" is because we look at their fantasy value and not their "we could totally beat that dude in a one-on-one game" value. In our opinion, some players are real, and some are not. Some players are tall, and some are not. If all players were for real, then Guy and I wouldn't have this penthouse office to work out of. So we debate, not player hate, and appreciate the realness of players in order to keep fantasy rosters all over the world safe and free from the real hate monger out there: global warming.
GUY: Well, my guess is that most folks across the country aren't worried about global warming this week, Tom. In the interest of all those who are freezing their cans off, we are looking at three players from warm weather towns. Whether they are real or not, we know they aren't cold.
Shaquille O'Neal - C, Miami Heat

TOM: Shaq, or Officer O'Neal if you will, has been quite the headline grabber though he's only played in ten games all season. From his citizen's arrests to botched police raids, Shaq has been busy protecting and serving the lovely people of Miami, while riding most of the season on the pine. While Shaq's playing time has been limited, many feel that as long as he's in "basketball shape," um make that "Shaq shape" come April, the Heat can live with his heroic calls to duty. However, what fans want to know is whether this first ballot Hall of Famer is worth picking up for their fantasy squad. As mentioned, Shaq has played in only ten games, averaging just 13.9 points and a mere 5.7 rebounds per game. Those numbers are hardly Shaq-like. In his last four games, though, Shaq has shown some signs of heading in the right direction and possibly back to his old dominant form. He's averaged 16.8 points, 4.5 boards, and 1.8 blocks on 59 percent shooting from the floor and 50 percent from the line in that time. Sure, those numbers look a little promising, but he's still not rebounding the ball. In Monday's game against the Bobcats, Shaq managed only two rebounds in 21 minutes. Wednesday's game, he scored only nine points and pulled down only four rebounds. I don't think that anyone will be surprised that Shaq is averaging career lows this season in points, rebounds, assists, field goal percentage, blocks, and steals. Did somebody say "regression?" Either way, when you're talking about one of the 50 Greatest Players in the History of the NBA, it's possible that this 34-year-old center and former MVP can regain his dominant form in time for you to make your playoff push. So, that's why we ask….
Shaquille O'Neal … Are You For Real?
TOM: Not Real. Hey, look at me! I'm about to call the most dominant player in the NBA "not real." If I thought the Jose Calderon backlash was rough, this should be interesting. It's not like I don't think that Shaq can turn it on at any moment and help D-Wade and the Miami Heat return to the NBA Finals. It's actually quite possible that the Heat will be there again in the end. The one question I have with Shaq is when will he turn it on? Next week? After the All-Star break? The first round of the playoffs? The other problem with getting Shaq in your lineup is that most fantasy owners will hold a player hostage based on his past performances or his name alone. A sore knee/leg is another reason why you want to be careful with the Diesel. It's the same old story, of late, with Shaq - when do the playoffs begin? Does he need to do anything more than get his team into the playoffs? No, not really. He's already positioned himself soundly in the history books, and now it's just about winning more rings and debating his all-time status. Roger Clemens only has to pitch three months, right? It's all about winning at this point in his career, and if he can go out there and score nine points and pull down four rebounds on the way to Miami's fifth consecutive win, then Pat Riley can remove those Worry dolls from beneath his pillow and sleep well knowing that Shaq is taking it slow and just waiting for the playoffs to come. You, on the other hand, are probably trying to figure out how it's possible that Mikki Moore is putting up similar numbers to the Diesel. Hey, me too, guys, me too.
GUY: For Real. Maybe I'm just old school, Tom, but I can't bet against the Diesel. I am not saying Shaq is going to dominate as in years past. I am not saying that he is in great shape. He won't and he isn't. But he is still huge and skilled and in the center-impoverished Eastern Conference that counts for a lot, even if Shaq only suits up for 25 to 30 minutes a night. Tom showed us Shaq's numbers during his last four games. The scoring is coming back, but the rebounding has a way to go. I know there are people who would like to bury Shaq and will tell you to stay away. There's a lot of hate in the fantasy community for Shaquille. To me it all depends on your needs. In head-to-head leagues Shaq can be a huge asset. Yes, his free throws are terrible, but you can punt categories in H2H and still win championships. Another thing to consider is that with fewer minutes Shaq is taking fewer free throws: 4.9 per contest vs. 8.0 last season. That means he hurts you less in this category than in years past. And let's not forget the boost he provides in field goal percentage. At this point, if you have held onto O'Neal, why wouldn't you play him? Going forward, as he slowly plays himself back into shape for the playoffs, we should expect numbers somewhat similar to Eddy Curry. Shaq will score a shade under 20 points per game, grab eight or so boards, shoot a great percentage from the field, and, unlike Curry, block 1.5 shots per game. We said Curry was for real, why not Shaq? So, you still hating?
Darko Milicic - PF/C, Orlando Magic

GUY: Darko Milicic has long been a joke in the NBA. With the Pistons, he was the human victory cigar, entering games only after his teammates had blown out the opposition. He was this gangly, unsure seven-footer who looked positively emasculated next to the frontcourt duo of Ben Wallace and Rasheed Wallace. If he was considered a joke in the NBA, he wasn't considered at all in fantasy leagues. That is until last season's trade to the Orlando Magic. Upon relocating to Florida, Milicic gave fans a chance to see why Joe Dumars selected him at all. In limited minutes (21 per game), he averaged 2.1 blocks per game. Always in search of blocks, fantasy owners jumped on the bandwagon in droves. This year, with only Tony Battie to contend with for playing time, it looked like Milicic was a prime breakout candidate. It was assumed that Battie would start at first but would soon cede the job to the more talented Milicic. Well, it's February 9, more than halfway through the season, and it finally happened. Darko started on Wednesday after a bone chip was discovered in Battie's right hand. His numbers weren't great as he was limited by early foul trouble. Still, Milicic has shown improvement, averaging 26.8 minutes, 13.2 points, 6.0 boards, and 1.6 blocks on 48.1 percent shooting from the field and 66.7 percent from the line during his last five games. Many owners have already bailed on Darko. What we want to know is, should we hold on to him or pick him up if he's on the wire?
Darko Milicic … Are You For Real?
GUY: For Real. With all the injuries to the Magic—Grant Hill, Trevor Ariza, Keyon Dooling, and now Tony Battie—the team needs help. Darko has shown some nice scoring lately, including a career-high 19 points against the Knicks. Part of the reason for the improvement is his newfound willingness to go inside. When he is matched up against smaller power forwards, Darko can take them into the paint. With his size and long arms he is tough to defend. And when slower centers are matched up with him, he can float outside and shoot the J. He is a match-up nightmare for coaches when his confidence is flowing. He still prefers the outside game—hey, that's what skilled big men do in Europe—but he is developing an inside game. Too often Milicic looks a little lost on the floor; that will happen when you have grown as unfamiliar with the basketball court as Darko was in his Detroit days. His feel for the game is coming back and now that he is starting, he will only get better. The defense we know is going to be there. If his minutes creep into the upper-20s to low 30s, he is a lock for two-plus blocks a game. If he's on the wire in your league, grab him now. I did this last week in one of my leagues. Don't wait for him to put up big numbers. By then, it will be too late.
TOM: For Real. I was one of those people who looked up Darko Milicic online come draft time in 2003 and saw that one clip of him stroking a jumpshot or two from 15 feet and thinking, "yeah, this guy is going to be good." I even thought that once Darko was sent to Orlando this past season that he was getting ready to realize that upside and potential we all heard about in the summer of 2003. But, seven points, five rebounds, and 1.7 blocks per game on a paltry 42 percent shooting from the floor is not quite what we all expected from the guy drafted ahead of Wade, Bosh, and Melo. He needs minutes. No way Coach Hill should have started Tony Battie over Darko. Last season, he showed that he can be a force under the basket (2.1 blocks per game). This season, he's right around there with 1.7 blocks, but he has stagnated. His numbers are just about where they were last season with the Magic. So, why am I calling him for real? Well, he's starting now. Plus, Darko has had a nice string of games, scoring at 13.2 points per game in his last five. His rebounding has not improved, but when you're playing alongside Dwight Howard, it's hard to get in there and clean up on the glass. For the time being, though, if you can get 14 points, six rebounds, and nearly two blocks per game out of Darko, with that almighty "center eligibility" tag, you have to keep your eyes on him because he can be a real quality second half player.
Smush Parker - PG, Los Angeles Lakers

TOM: This week, we're going to tackle a player who was suggested by one of our very own readers, Obed Alvarez. He wanted Smush Parker and, as is our MO, we aim to please. New York native, Smush Parker, had his coming out party last season for the playoff-bound Los Angeles Lakers. He was last year's answer to most people's "does Kobe Bryant make his teammates better" discussion. He raised his level of play after a dismal 2004-05 season to a respectable 11.5 points, 3.7 assists and 1.7 steals per game season while playing, and starting, in all 82 games. This season, Parker's production is practically identical to last year's. Smush has played and started in all 49 games this season and is averaging 31 minutes per contest. While he's getting the playing time, the only stats that really stand out are the 11.6 points, 1.4 threes, and 1.6 steals per game he's averaging. The issue with Smush is that he has been pretty streaky. He had a run of eight consecutive games scoring in double figures that was snapped last Monday when he scored only three points on 1-of-8 shooting against the Atlanta Hawks. One thing that did stick out, however, was the fact that Smush had six steals in two different games this past week. He is certainly athletic and aware enough to disrupt the passing lanes. But, has his recent play made him a viable point guard option? Obed, take heed as we ponder….
Smush Parker ... Are You For Real?
TOM: Not Real. Streaky. Streaky. Streaky. That's my biggest concern with Smush Parker. He's durable alright, as he's started in all 49 games this season. But, he just can't seem to get it all together. His points, 11.7 per game, do nothing for me. His assists, 2.3 per game, are not quite what you'd like to see from a starting point guard who's on the court 31 minutes. You will get about 1.5 threes and 1.6 steals per game, but it's not enough to make a major impact on your team. If we were talking in reality and questioning the Lakers run to the playoffs, that would be a different story. Smush is on a team with a superstar in Kobe Bryant, a star in Lamar Odom, and a few young players who are really emerging this year in Luke Walton and Andrew Bynum. As the "floor general" of this team, which is debatable, you'd like to see Smush getting more assists as a starting point guard. I'd also like to propose that we don't delegate a nickname to Smush, since, well, Smush is his nickname. I've always rooted for Smush and want nothing more than for him to succeed in the Association, since he was born and raised here in New York and played his College ball at Fordham, but I have to apologize to Mr. Nicholson and stick to my guns. Smush Parker is just not a real fantasy option in my eyes.
GUY: For Real. Smush was not getting a lot of love early in the season. His scoring was down, his three-point shot was off the mark, and he wasn't snatching the steals like the Smush we loved last year. Well, things have gotten a lot better since then. He is, as Tom, noted quite streaky. But his production has been trending upward since the start of the season. Check his monthly numbers in these three categories and you will see a nice slope of increased productivity: November: 9.4 points, 1.2 threes, 1.1 steals; December: 11.8 points, 1.0 threes, 1.4 steals; January: 13.3 points, 2.0 threes, 1.7 steals; February (three games): 14.3 points, 1.7 threes, 4.3 steals. Despite his being listed as a point guard, you don't have Smush on your team for assists. He's no floor general, Tom. He is a three-point shooting specialist who doubles up on the rare cats by also excelling in steals. The Lakers have excellent distributors in Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom, so expect Smush to see good open looks from beyond the arc. The steals will also be there. Parker has two six-steal games this month already. In head-to-head leagues in particular, specialists like Smush can be a great asset, helping you lock up two categories. For teams in smaller leagues (ten teams or less), Smush isn't a great fit. But for anyone in need of threes and/or steals, Smush is for real.
TOM: We're just one week away from All-Star Weekend, and I, for one, am excited about this year's Slam Dunk Contest. Much has been made about the Slam Dunk Contest, sans James White, and whether there's anything "left" to do. Have you seen a guy tricycle his way to the hoop or act out a monologue from Mamet's Glengarry Glen Ross before throwing it down? "A.B.C. Always, be, closing!"
GUY: Wow, Tom, you managed to quote Glengarry Glen Ross without one of the 152 F-bombs that are dropped in Mamet's script. Hats off to you! Now, you think Gerald Green can pull that off?
Guy Lake and Tom Lorenzo are fantasy experts for TalentedMrRoto.com , which features free advice, news, stats and analysis for all fantasy sports. It was nominated for four FSTA awards, including best site. Contact them at guylake@TalentedMrRoto.com and tomlorenzo@TalentedMrRoto.com.
The views expressed by TalentedMrRoto.com represent only the views of the writers; they do not represent the views of the NBA or any NBA team.
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