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For the record, I did NOT get attacked by a rough looking group of skaters outside of the Kwik-E-Mart. (20th Century Fox)
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It’s HOT! HOT! HOT!
posted by Dena | September 6 @ 10:27 am
I’m back, Clipper Nation! And I’m better than ever!
I hope you all enjoyed your long weekend and that your Labor Day was filled with BBQ deliciousness and a nice place for you to cool off. This heat wave we've been having is BRUTAL. To quote the memorable Eugene Morris Jerome (Matthew Broderick) in the 1988 move Biloxi Blues, “Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.” At least it’s only 77 today!
So, for the two people who read my blog regularly (thanks mom and dad) and have e-mailed me to see if I’m okay because I haven’t written lately… yes. I’m fine. Now. My two week hiatus from the bloggy world on Clippers.com was the result of a minor head injury, self-inflicted by my own clumsiness.
I can’t tell you how exactly I managed to get a concussion because my boss believes I “need a better story” to tell people so I can live up to my “small but mighty” reputation. All I can tell you is that there was ZERO alcohol involved, that it involved a major appliance and that my doctor says the MRI shows I “have a normal human brain and will heal just fine.” Normal? Puh-lease.
So, while I continue to develop a good lie, I also have to dispel the following office gossip as UNTRUE: I was not (a) attacked by a rough looking group of skaters outside the Kwik-E-Mart, (b) in an altercation with a large woman over a pair of stilettos during a 75% off shoe sale, or (c) attacked by elves wielding tennis rackets during a dance class. Now, if I ever do find those elves…
A couple of things to discuss before getting to your e-mails:
The Clips signed Ruben Patterson last Wednesday (again, we need to change the substitution rule so we can switch lines every two minutes like they do in hockey!). This is definitely a good pick-up for us, and despite certain speculation, this doesn’t mean that Elton is out for the entire season. It also means we have the self-proclaimed "Kobe Stopper" on OUR side. Score. Editor's Note: according to Wikipedia, Patterson 'nicknamed himself the 'Kobe Stopper' after playing strong defense against NBA superstar Kobe Bryant, but has long since disowned the nickname."
USA Basketball defeated Argentina to win the gold at the FIBA Americas Championship and earned a spot in the 2008 Olympics. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s relieved… and while we’re on this topic, check out these hilarious but cool photos of USA Basketball through the years.
College football kicked off last weekend and… I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT MICHIGAN LOST TO A SCHOOL WITH THIS RECRUITING VIDEO! "Appalachian is Hot! Hot! Hot!" After this, maybe my Alma Mater really should consider scheduling a Pee Wee team for next year's season opener.
Just a heads up: we have more than 1,000 photos to sort through from the Clippers Spirit photo shoot last week. We should be getting the best ones soon for Clippers.com. Can't wait!
Now to your e-mails…
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Clipper Nation is Blowing Up my Inbox
J.J. Jenkins from Culver City, CA writes...
Hi Dena. I've been a season ticket holder since 1990. Go Clips!
I think the Clips should celebrate their new training facility with a name change. Now that we have a home base for the future, the Los Angeles Clippers should change their name to...The West Side Clippers. With only one TRUE west side in the country, the West Side Clippers could represent all of us from Venice to Downtown. What a great way to separate us from the LA Lakers... and its not nearly as ridiculous as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. What do you think?
J.J.,
You struck a cord with me, J.J. I too think the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" is ridiculous, but mostly because the stadium isn't even in Los Angeles County and partly because I'm a Los Angeles Dodgers fan.
As for the "West Side Clippers" as you've proposed... you made me laugh out loud. The idea isn't completely ludicrous or anything, but... I can tell you with 100% certainty that it won't happen.
First of all, Clippers fans in Los Angeles are so spread out that they reside far BEYOND Venice to Downtown LA - north, south, east and west. Changing the name to the "West Side Clippers" would alienate the other Los Angelinos who don't live on the West side that love Clippers basketball. You don't want to limit Clipper Nation, do you?
Second, we don't need a name change to separate us from the Lakers. Aside from physical differences (we're red, white and blue, they're purple and gold), we're two very different teams. We just happen to share an arena.
B.K. From Poughkeepsie, NY writes…
Do you think there is a chance Jared Jordan can make the roster? I think he is totally worth signing. If you look at any of his many qualifications it should be apparent that he is ready for this.
B.K.,
Of course he has a chance. It’s my understanding that he’ll be competing with Guillermo Diaz for that spot on the roster. We’ll know more in about a month once training camp starts. (FYI – just because we signed Guillermo a few weeks back doesn’t mean he’s actually going to make the team.)
T.J. from Cleveland, OH writes…
I’m a Clippers fan from Ohio and I need a woman’s advice. I have been dating this great girl for about two months now; her only fault is that she’s a Cavs fan. I just found out that when we started to date she referred to me as “The Clippers Fan” to all of her friends, not by my name. She says all girls do it, but I feel insulted. Is this true?
T.J.,
Your question reminds me of a scene from the movie Fever Pitch. Ben (Jimmy Fallon) says to his new love interest Lindsay (Drew Barrymore) that she probably calls him “Ben the School Teacher” to all of her friends. When she admits that she does and asks him what he calls her to his friends, he looks at her in the eyes and says, “I call you Lindsay… the vomit girl.” (She had food poisoning on their first date.)
While I can’t speak for all women, I can say that my friends and I do this whenever somebody in our group meets or dates a new man. It may seem silly to you, even insulting (it can be) but it serves a purpose. These nicknames are generally derived from something unique about the new person’s personality, job, etc.; it gives them an identity when gabbing to friends AND actually shows that they're paying attention to details about YOU. This “identity” separates John D. from John B. or Jeff from Geoff, etc. For instance, some of the nicknames that have been used in my circle of girlfriends: The Fireman, The Frat Boy, The Yankee Fan, The Lebowski...
Take it as a compliment, especially considering she’s still dating you. She probably picked out that trait about you because it is so unique to find a Clippers fan in the house that LeBron built. It’ll probably make those two meetings between the teams (11/11 and 2/2) that much more entertaining. Just show her that a Clippers fan is loyal, caring and can endure any hardship and you'll be set! Hopefully all will work out and you’ll have a long, loving and competitive relationship with this Cavs fan… but be careful. If things end badly between you two, AND it’s your fault, you’ll ruin all Clippers fans in the mind of this woman.
Good luck! Invite me to the wedding.
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I'd like to wish a very happy (upcoming) birthday to the following wonderful people in the Clippers family...
Jake & Elwood from Chicago write…
Erroneous! So we were just reading the last two blogs and came across your top five car chase scenes. We were very disappointed to see that we did not get mentioned. Let us refresh your memory with our famous car chase in a mall ("You want us out of this parking lot... Ok!") and our final car chase. At least you got it straight on the ballparks!
Jake & Elwood,
Please accept my most (semi) sincere apologies. If I were ever going to create a top five list of spoofy chases that involve some pretty amazing driving (and I use the term “amazing” loosely), both of yours would be on the list. The other three scenes would include: the intro for Naked Gun 33 1/3 (which isn’t really a car chase but it’s quite funny nonetheless), National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation sled wax scene (not a car, but this makes me double over laughing every single time), and this scene from Austin Powers.
Mike Williams writes…
I can’t believe you are bagging on old Tiger Stadium, that’s sacrilegious!!! No way, I’m old school. Love the nostalgia. (But I’m on board with what you say about Dodger Stadium, that’s my favorite.)
Mike,
I’m “old school” too, hence my top two picks! I love the nostalgia of the old Tigers Stadium, but really, it was a dump. You can’t deny that. Since it closed down in 1999, the only two things it’s been useful for were: a) turning it into the 1960’s Yankees Satdium for Billy Crystal’s movie 61* (one of my all time favs) and b) a giant party for the Super Bowl in 2005.
Tigers Stadium supposedly has trees growing in the infield now. Just an FYI.
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Must See Awesomely Bad TV
Having a concussion is not exactly my idea of fun time. My doctor’s orders didn’t allow much freedom: no internet, no driving, no reading, no video games, no crossword puzzles… and with good reason. All of those activities did nothing short of causing a splitting headache. So, I was left with TV and movies if I wasn’t walking around my neighborhood avoiding the arcades.
It’s been a long time since I watched any daytime television. I don’t do Soaps (never have, not a single one) and I can’t stand talk shows, so I was left with very little to choose from. And let me tell you… there are some really just plain horrible shows out there. But which is the BEST of the bad TV? I leave you this week with my top five picks of the best “So Awful I Can’t Help But Watch the Whole Thing” TV shows.
5. Saved By The Bell... The College Years (TNT): SBTB just isn’t the same without Mr. Belding, Jessie Spano or Lisa Turtle… "The College Years" is just plain awful. The jokes: horrible. Screech: unwatchable. The outfits: makes you miss the 80’s. Still… I wear my Bayside Tigers T-shirt proudly when watching this show, hoping that Zack and Kelly will find a way to be together again. Go Bayside!
4. Flipping Out (Bravo): You have to love Bravo and their marathons. Bravo kept me entertained throughout most of the week with the Top Chef marathons (especially season two) and the Top 100 best Comedies of all time. Flipping Out is a show about an obsessive compulsive guy named Jeff Lewis who flips houses (buys, restores and sells) in Los Angeles and his crew of friends/co-workers. He actually had his Second Assistant (he has more than one, including a "Trash Man") take his cat to get acupuncture. This scene alone makes the whole show worth watching.
3. Dawson’s Creek (TBS): I’ll admit I loved this show in high school, and watching the re-runs on TBS always brings me back. The whole show is basically a one-hour J. Crew commercial that makes every dreamy-eyed girl want to climb a ladder into the bedroom window of her best friend/object of affection then turn on him and date his best buddy instead. And who talks in major soliloquies ALL THE TIME? I mean really. Still, after all these years, can’t stop watching…
2. The Hills (MTV): I hate this show; absolutely cannot stand it or what it represents in our society. But I also can’t help myself from tuning in… trying desperately to understand how Heidi could possibly choose Spencer over L.C. Why would anybody pick the guy who looks like the Hamburglar over her best friend? Still… can’t stop watching.
1. The Pick-Up Artist (VH1): I don’t believe for a second that this “Sky Captain” Mystery guy is a master pick-up artist. I just can’t. The goggles? The giant furry hat? The eyeliner? The chin piercing? The striking resemblance to the lead singer of AFI? I just don’t get it! It’s the biggest car wreck out there… yet I’m inexplicably drawn to it. And I'm rooting for Joe D. to win the whole thing.
That’s it for this week Clipper Nation. I think it goes without saying that I won this week’s “Too Much Time on Their Hands” award… it’s GREAT to be back.
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