All Star Tips For Elton

:: Around The Cooler Archives ::

By Dave Callanan, Clippers.com
Posted: 11:15 am PST | February 18th, 2006

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I think the guy behind EB is trying to think up a reeeeaallly good question to ask the Clippers' All Star.

PHOTOS: Derek Zoolander has nothing on Elton Brand. Check out EB's All Star Photo Shoot!

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I think this All Star Weekend could prove to be the best ever for the ever-growing band known as the ClipperNation. Its not an easy proclamation to make, as 2002 was pretty epic with Darius, Q, and Lamar tearing up the Rookie vs. Sophomore game and Elton making his first career All Star appearance. Heck, even the year before that gave us an Around The Cooler Hall of Fame moment in Corey Maggette's front-flip-and-jam in the Dunk Contest.

Yet I still believe this All Star Weekend will surpass all in recent memory. Why? Well, not only is our main man, Elton "The Beast" Brand going to be rattling the rims in Houston, but the rest of his LAC teammates are getting a much needed break at a crucial time in the season. The get an extra week to rehab injuries (Maggette, Ross, and Rebraca) and to bring the newest Clipper, Vladimir Radmanovic, up to speed. Plus, let's face it-- the fellas just needed the rest right now. After pulling out a thrilling comeback win over Memphis, the Red and Blue looked gassed in their next three contests. Thankfully, the All Star break arrived just in time to give our beloved Clippers ample time to recoup and prepare themselves for a grueling playoff run.

But getting back to Brand, I can't wait to watch him take the Toyota Center floor as a member of the Western Conference's best. I know its just an All Star Game with no real implications, but I still think that the Clippers' #42 will be bringing the same tenacity that we've seen every night this season. But can he become the first Clipper to take home the game's MVP trophy?

With the rest of the NBA's elite vying for MVP hardware, it won't be easy by any means. However, after spending hours analyzing past broadcasts of the NBA's midseason classic on NBATV, I've come up with a five-point game plan that should give EB an edge over his teammates and opponents.

So if you're reading this Elton, here's your blueprint for All Star glory:

#1 - Tell Steve Nash that you really think his hair looks really good. Its not secret that guards make the All Star game go. They alone control the tempo and even the involvement of the bigs. If your floor general decides that he's going to put on a 3pt show on Sunday, it'll be tough to get the ball where you want it on the block. However, if you butter up an assist wizard like Nash, it could mean more touches for you. (Here's a tip: he's a soccer fan, so invite him to an LA Galaxy game when he's next in LA.)

#2 - Break out that one move. You know what I'm talking about---the bounce-off-your-knee-and-off-the-shot-clock type of shot that you've only displayed when messing around after practice. Its pure All Star gold, my friend. T-Mac is still milking his off-the-backboard-to-myself move that he debuted in 2002. I don't know what your move is exactly, but I'm sure you've got one. Let's see it.

#3 - Destroy the offensive glass. The All Star Game record for offensive rebounds is a paltry nine held by Hakeem "The Dream" Olajuwon and Dan Roundfield. That's it---nine, just nine. C'mon Elton---your career best is 12! Heck, you even grabbed nine offensive boards this season against Charlotte! This is totally your record to own.

#4 - Shoot at least one jumper from beyond the arc. Show some range, big guy! You're killing from the perimeter and I know you'd catch the defense way off-guard with a 3PT attempt. Make or miss, you'd get the attention of a lot of folks. And what is an MVP candidate looking for? You got it: attention.

#5 - Have fun out there. This is the easiest, but also the most crucial. From Magic to Michael to AI, All Star Game legends play with a pure enjoyment of the game. Even ultra-competitors like Larry Bird and KG have been caught by cameras grinning from ear-to-ear en route to MVP performances. So break out the Crest!

There you have it, EB---the road to an All Star MVP trophy laid out in front of you. The ClipperNation will be cheering you on with all our might!

Go Clippers and go EB!


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