Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea! I’m the Optimist; you are Cavalier fans. Gird good and proper and get ready for today’s installment of NEWS … AROUND … THE … LEAGUE.
As you could tell from that intro, I’m feeling a little flaccid today. Like one of those mushy softballs people play with without mitts. And I’m asking you guys right now not to shout any comments out or chew you gum loudly during today’s column. I’m really hungover from last night’s Barry Manilow concert at Blossom. I’ll never do some of that stuff again. Geez.