Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea! I’m the Optimist; you are Cavalier fans. Gird good and proper and get ready for today’s installment of NEWS … AROUND … THE … LEAGUE.

As you could tell from that intro, I’m feeling a little flaccid today. Like one of those mushy softballs people play with without mitts. And I’m asking you guys right now not to shout any comments out or chew you gum loudly during today’s column. I’m really hungover from last night’s Barry Manilow concert at Blossom. I’ll never do some of that stuff again. Geez.

Auditions are set for August 11th at Quicken Loans Arena

The Cleveland Cavaliers are looking for the perfect combination of the best hip-hop dancers and most enthusiastic entertainers in Northeast Ohio to be members of the dynamic Scream Team for the 2012-13 season. With their tumbling and break-dance stunts, head spins and dance moves that seem to defy gravity, the Scream Team is a central part of the Cavaliers high-energy game entertainment repertoire.

How is Kyrie Irving going to top his rookie season in Cleveland?

After being selected No. 1 overall in the 2011 Draft, all he did was turn in one of the greatest rookie seasons in league history – taking the MVP trophy at All-Star Weekend’s Rising Stars Challenge and winning the Rookie of the Year Award. After taking top freshman honors, he starred in a Pepsi commercial and traveled to Vegas where he more than held his own against a Team USA squad that’s been compared to the Dream Team.

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