The Optimist

April 7, 2006

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Guten tag, y’uns! I can only assume that you people are Cavalier fans. As you can see from the caricature on the right, I am the Optimist. As beloved Cavaliers PA announcer, Ron Duncan, would say: Are you ready to do this? Then let’s get to this!!

Many of you are wondering what in the wide, wide world of sports was wrong with our beloved Cavaliers in the first three quarters of Wednesday night’s utterly unpredictable loss to the hap-free New York Knicks at the Garden. I wish I had an answer for you; I really do.

For the second time this season, your fustian friend, the Big O, overlooked the New York Knickerbockers – and so did the Cavaliers, apparently.

Jamal Crawford made the Cavaliers pay for their oversight to the tune of a game-high 37 points – the final two for the win, and right in Larry Huge’s grill.

His motivation was obvious: it was revenge, pure and simple.

Many of you may not know this, but Crawford was once a Cavalier – for ten minutes on Draft Night 2000. But the Cavaliers traded him to Chicago for Chris Mihms, who was selected one pick later by the Bulls.

In those critical moments, Crawford learned Randy Wittman’s playbook, befriended new teammates like Shawn Kemp and Andrew DeClercq and purchased a swanky five-bedroom house in Bratenahl. Ten minutes later, the dream was dead and Crawford was a Bull.

He never forgave the Cavaliers for trading him after he’d given so much to the franchise. So he took a pound of flesh out of us on Wednesday night at the Garden and for that, I almost have to respect his commitment to the cause. You’re a worthy adversary, Jamal Crawford! Too bad the Wine and Gold will have to give your Knicks a super-sized smoting on April 13 at The Q.

The Cavaliers have had a couple days to lick their wounds after the Knicks snapped their nine-game winning streak. But it doesn’t get any easier for the Good Guys as they travel across the Hudson to scenic New Jersey, where they’ll take on the Nets, who are about to see a winning streak of their own come to an end.

FEAR THE BEARD!

Speaking of Prolonged Win Streaks™, I hope you readers have not strayed from your assignment – growing your playoff beards in support of our Cavaliers’ run to and through the postseason. Just because the Wine and Gold’s nine-gamer came to an end doesn’t mean that you can bust off the whiskers.

If it’s driving you crazy, get yourself a little trim. That’s what I did, and who doesn’t feel better after that?

This brings us to the old Optimist Mailbag, where I found this fascinating posit on the E-Master™ 6900 state-of-the-art e-mailing machine when I got to work this morning …

Dear Optimist-

Would a playoff mustache work as well?

King Yoke
Youngstown, OH

Thanks for reading and writing in, your highness. You may be the king of Youngstown, but here in the United States, we have eschewed the monarchy for something called ‘democracy.’ And as such – in the spirit of the American way – I will let you people decide.

Any show of support is welcomed, but unless you’re a cop, Burt Reynolds, a member of the 1971 Oakland Athletics or a dude from Pittsburgh, mustaches are completely passé.

Besides, “FEAR THE BEARD!” has a much better ring to it than “FEAR THE ‘STACHE!”

But, to be honest, any facial hair will help – especially considering Cleveland’s upcoming opponent, the New Jersey Nets, who had won a league-high 14 straight games before Saturday’s loss to the Cavaliers at Continental Airlines Arena.

Look for the Cavaliers to come out with a lot more fire on Saturday than they did on Wednesday against the Knicks. They’ve had two days off in Manhattan, and since there ain’t squat to do there, I’m assuming Mike Brown’s men got plenty of rest heading into the big showdown across the Hudson.

I see TheBron picking up where he left off in the fourth quarter against New York. The Chosen One loves the spotlight and, with the eyes of the nation upon him, nets his 11th career triple-double – 38 points, 13 rebounds, 10 dimes, three steals and a pair of blocked shots.

Playoff Mustache: Acceptable or not?

View Results

Larry Huge has his breakout game on Saturday, scorching the Nets for 22 points, seven boards and five assists in just 31 minutes off Coach Brown’s bench. Anderson Varejao gets comfortable in the starting center spot and chips in with 12 points and 11 boards.

The Nets lead Cleveland for 46 minutes and 35 seconds before TheBron simply takes over. In the final 75 seconds of the game, TheBron turns in one of the greatest late-game performances the NBA has ever seen, netting seven of his 38 in the clutch.

Jason Kidd splits a pair of free throws with 11 seconds remaining to put the Nets up by a point, 107-106.

On the next possession, TheBron dribbles right into the teeth of the Nets’ defense and when Richard Jefferson leaves him to cover a wide-open Donyell Marshall, the young King tucks the ball under his arm and throws down a massive jam to end the ballgame with the Cavaliers winning a thriller, 108-107.

TheBron is unselfish, but he ain’t stupid.

There you have it, my furry little friends. A big weekend win – ending the Nets winning streak and re-starting one of our own.

I realize that I just gave you the final score and vital statistics, but that doesn’t mean you can de-gird for Saturday’s matchup. Au contraire! I’ll need you to gird even tighter to make sure that it goes down that way. With that in mind, your assignments for this weekend are threefold – one, gird up those loins; two, grow the playoff beard, or failing that, your playoff mustache; and three, please remember, you gotta …

Keep the faith, Cleveland

Your pal,
The Optimist