Bonjour, shaken and stirred Cavalier fans. Don’t you worry your pretty little heads; the Big O’s gonna make everything alright.

As you can see by the lovely postcard to the right, I’m checking in from Toronto, Ontario, Canadia. The Cavaliers Team Bus rolled quietly across the border in the wee hours of the morning, still smarting from the one Cleveland took on the chin in Tuesday’s home opener.

Ouch.

The hated Celtics came in and did their job. You’ve got to give it to them. They overcame an early lead. They snapped a 16-game streak that saw the home team win every game. And they did it with good, clean, old-time basketball: no spitting, no elbows to the jimmy.

Mazel tov on last night’s win, you filthy Celtics. See you in February.

There’s no time to dwell on the past. The Cavaliers are moving on, with the aforementioned Team Bus rumbling through the night as we hit the road for the first time this season.

For those of you who wonder what life on the road with a big league franchise like the Cavaliers is like, here’s a quick snapshot …

Now that Shaq and Uncle Jerome are riding along, some of us have had to double-up. But I don’t mind because I got my man – Cavs play-by-play guy, Fred McLeod – riding with me. Last night, we shared a cold brew, chewed the fat about the loss to Boston, and played some Rock, Paper, Scissors. (Freddy Mac beat me, 141-117.)

When the Team Bus finally pulled into the beautiful city of Toronto, we actually got lost trying to find the motel. But Anthony Parker – who played here for three years – speaks fluent Canadian and he was able to navigate the way early this morning. (Jamario Moon, who only played 132 games with the Raptors, admittedly speaks only broken-Canadian.)

Our motel is very nice, but not overly opulent. I don’t have to tell you that our illustrious owner, Dan Gilbert, spares no expense. But I do know that he’s not foolish enough to put us up in the places where the Cleveland Browns stay. I heard in their motel, bottles of water alone cost $1700! Even TheBron – who probably earns 10 or 20 times what you or I do – wouldn’t shell out that kind of jack for an Evian.

As far as the basketball proceedings on the road, we’ll get to this evening’s robust victory in just a moment. First, I’d like to reach into the Optimist Mailbag and address this dissatisfied customer …

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Excuse me,

What's with LeBron's comments about dunking on President Bush? Maybe he should be more concerned about dunking on Dwight Howard, the Celtics, Lakers, etc.

Bernard D.
Philadelphia, PA

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Bernard, first of all, thanks for reading and writing in. As you know, I try to stay away from all things political in this column. I’ve always cast my vote based on the candidate’s height, and that philosophy’s done well by me for this long.

But I will say this: TheBron has already dunked on Dwight Howard and the Celtics and the Lakers. What’s wrong with setting his goals on the former leader of the free world? George Bush, an avid runner and cyclist, might just be up for the challenge.

And whether it’s Zydrunas Ilgauskas, fantasizing of swatting a Diane Feinstein shot into the seventh row or if Boobie Gibson’s secret wish is to bury a three-pointer just beyond the outstretched arm of Barney Frank, I support all of the Cavaliers political aspirations.

Somewhere, there’s a youngster dribbling a basketball on a schoolyard right now, dreaming of the day that he might one day crush one in the face of Barack Obama. And I say “Live the dream, kid!”

So, Bernard, you can say what you want about TheBron. But I’m not going to sit here and listen to you bad mouth the United States of America!

As long as I’m filled with jingoistic juice, let’s just say I see our American-owned-and-operated ballclub jumping out to an eight-point lead after one half, with Mo Williams leading the charge – 11 points, six assists at the break.

Toronto takes charge after intermission, taking a four-point edge into the fourth quarter behind Andrea Bargnani’s hot shooting. But the fourth quarter – as it has before in Toronto – belongs to TheBron, with the Chosen One netting 12 of his 29 points in the final stanza.

Cleveland sinks its free throws down the stretch – including the Diesel, who goes 6-for-10 on the night – and the Wine and Gold even their record at 1-1 with the 102-96 win.

Just because I predicted a win doesn’t mean you should let your guard down. As I said yesterday, the Cavaliers might need to get nasty this year. Teams will be trying to take what we got. Boston did last night.

Stay focused, knuckaheads. Stay angry. If you need a little inspiration, click over to see your former Cy Young Award winners facing off against each other in the World Series. If that doesn’t cheese you off as a Clevelander, you should move to Pittsburgh.

For those who it does, welcome aboard. It’s time to …

Get nasty, Cleveland

Your pal,
The Optimist

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