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Today’s episode will focus on tonight’s tilt between the Raptors of Toronto and our beloved Cleveland Cavaliers. It will be a special night on the corner of Huron and Ontario, and not just because of the 109-101 victory.

But before we move on to the emotional whys and wherefores of said triumph, I hope I didn’t offend any readers by labeling today’s piece a “Good Friday edition.” As you regular readers know, this is a secular column which welcomes people of all creeds and colors.

But, without getting into the theological specifics, my religion recognizes today as Good Friday – the last Friday of a period we call Lent, in which many of us sacrifice something we love for 40 days. On Sunday, we celebrate something called Easter, and on Monday it’s back to a life of gluttony.

During this time, I have given up something I once thought ungiveupabble: The Granddaddy of ‘Em All – the McDonald’s Big Mac Meal, a foul mistress which tempts me even as I write the words. For 38 record-setting nights, Mayor McCheese has taunted me in my sleep.

But I have sworn off these two all-beef patties, this special sauce. These pickles, these onions. This sesame seed bun. Over this Lenten period, I have become bigger than the Big Mac. It no longer controls my every move. And this Monday, I may or may not relent to its seductive charms.

If I get close enough to the screen, I can smell it.

Now, I realize that my iron will is something that should be between me and my God. But I was just so happy with my record-breaking performance, and I consider us friends, that I wanted to share it with someone.

On Friday night at The Q – (if you can believe it) – an even bigger record is about to be broken.

That record, of course, is the Cavaliers all-time scoring mark of 10,389 points – a record held for these next few hours by five-time All-Star, Brad Daugherty. And that record-breaker, of course, is TheBron.

Daugherty, one of the greatest players and certainly the finest center in franchise history, set the high-water mark in 548 hard-workin’ ballgames. The young King will best the record in 380 – with no end in sight.

I loved Brad Daugherty back in the day. He was more than just a versatile big man with a funny hairline. He was a symbol of the Cavaliers – hard-working, fundamentally sound, nice guy who be tough when he needed to be.

But, of late, Daugherty has spurned the franchise and his refusal to return to The Q mystifies me. The man didn’t even make an appearance when we celebrated his bobble-head night during last season. Not coming back to Cleveland for one’s own bobble-head night – perhaps the greatest enshrinement in all of sports – is something I almost consider a personal affront.

So, this among the myriad other reasons is why I will be among the standing ovation tonight, when TheBron scores his fifth point and takes the well-deserved reigns of the franchise scoring record.

TheBron is the face of the Cavaliers and the face of the Association. He’s the purest, most organic thing about our organization. He brings it every night and is simply the best basketball player on planet Earth.

It’s important to never take these days of witnessing TheBron for granted. We’re living in history. Cleveland hasn’t had the hammer since Jim Brown, and that’s back when sports were in black & white. Jim Brown wasn’t born in Northeast Ohio.

TheBron will break all the Cavaliers records some day. He’ll break the big one tonight.

His fifth point of the night, midway through the first quarter, breaks the record. His thirty-fifth point of the night breaks the Raptors’ will.

After a back-and-forth affair in which Jamario Moon and TheBron have an excellent duel for four quarters, it’s time for the young King to take over. After a Chris Bosh and-1, Delonte West ties the game with a pair of free throws with just over two minutes to play.

On the following possession, TheBron strips Chris Bosh and goes coast-to-coast for the windmill dunk. With the crowd still frothing from his sensational throwdown, he converts Ben Wallace’s blocked shot into a three-point play on the other end.

The Cavaliers pull away down the stretch for the aforementioned 109-101 win.

The Wine and Gold’s new franchise scoring leader and his young comrades celebrate with a post-game sandwich and their customary jaw-jacking session with the local media. Soon after, they solemnly board the Team Bus for Milwaukee for a Saturday night showdown in Suds City.

People – leave the record-breaking stuff to the professionals like me and TheBron. You need to just focus on one game, one day at a time, like Coach Brown tells us to.

Tonight could be a first round playoff preview, and instead of focusing on individual statistics, I need you focused on the Toronto Raptors, who are probably strolling around Tower City right now – without a care in the world, trying to pass their loonies off as real money.

If that doesn’t cheese you red-blooded Cleveland-Americans off, I don’t know what will. You can do your part for your city and your country by remembering to …

Choose faith, Cleveland

Your pal,
The Optimist

COME ON, CAVS! ©1975

please play loudly