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Konichiwa, Cavalier fans! My name is spelled “Optimist” but it’s pronounced “Shawn.”

Today’s column comes to you from the heart of the Big Apple, where New Yorkers are preparing to celebrate two of their favorite annual sporting events: the Yankees World Series Parade and TheBron at the Garden – clubbing the living crap out of their home team.

I tuned baseball out when my beloved Tribe folded mid-summer, but as far as the Yankees go, I’m not a bitter Clevelander. I’m personally happy for CC Sabathia. By the same token, anything that makes Rudy Giuliani happy at Charlie Manuel’s expense can’t be that good.

In terms of the young King and his subsequent Friday night detonation, I guarantee that Knicks fans (and media alike) will eat it up with a fork – but might use a spoon to get every drop.

What's not to love about Yankee fans? (Oh, right.)

I know this will happen because I’ve been here at the World’s Most Famous Arena several times before, and the dance is the same every year. After No. 23 is dressed, about an hour before tip, our prolific PR personnel will walk him through the gulag-like bowels of the Garden to a cramped media room.

TheBron will sit at a folding table surrounded by frothing New York media members, each trying to construct a different form of the question: “Are you coming to New York next year?” The Pride of Akron will demure, duck, bob, weave and basically give them: “I love playing for the Cavaliers. I want to win a Championship. I’ll tell you in July.”

How they spin that on Saturday morning is anyone’s guess. But whatever you read, please remember that these scribes have papers to sell and they’re going to twist the Chosen One’s quotes to fit their reader’s tastes.

That’s cool by me. Just remember, New Yorkers … you can look, but you better not touch. You know what it says in the Bible about coveting thy neighbor’s stuff?

(It’s against it.)

So no matter what you hear or read over the next couple days – remain calm, all is well. Don’t get bent out of shape like these guys …

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yo optimist!

I am so sick and tired of every single sportswriter saying that TheBron is going to some random city to play next year that is not Cleveland. I mean, I have heard N.Y. of course, but also Chicago, Miami, NJ, and now even L.A.

They are all saying that TheBron will not play in Cleveland next year no matter what.

They must think he hates us and will leave anywhere, even though he has a tattoo on him that reads "loyalty."

I want you "THE one and only Optimist" to make a shout-out with all us Cavs fans to every other basketball team saying "THEBRON IS STAYING HERE AT HOME WHERE HE BELONGS!!!!"

Nate
Youngstown, OH

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Opto-

Don't just stand there … DO SOMETHING!

Dave
Augusta, GA

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OK, men. Let’s not get hysterical here.

Nate from the Yo – you’re right, those are all cities that are not Cleveland. And TheBron is all about loyalty, which is why I’ve repeatedly assured readers to relax. The man lives in Bath Township and kids in Myanmar know his name.

Dave in Augusta – I understand you’re upset. And I sense it’s more with the Cavaliers’ 3-3 record than the Big Apple’s unrequited courtship of the Chosen One.

There is only ONE hoops King of New York.

Well, don’t either of you worry your pretty little heads. I already done told you that TheBron’s not leaving. As far as the 3-3, Dave, I’m glad we’re mediocre two weeks into the season. Great teams like the Spurs or Yankees or Patriots are always mediocre early. The national media gets they panties in a bunch and a few months later, they’re rolling towards the Title.

I expect the Cavaliers roll to get back into gear on Friday night, when TheBron and Co. throttle the Knicks much to the delight of their fans.

Sure, it’d be nice if Mo Williams or Shaquille O’Neal did their squad in, but Knicks fans get what they really want as TheBron drops 22 points on New York by halftime, putting Mike D’Antoni’s club well into arrears at intermission.

The beat goes on in the second half, with only David Lee’s 13-point third interrupting the onslaught. The Large Lithuanian makes up for taking the collar on Thursday, going 8-for-10 from the floor for 21 points.

TheBron splashes home points No. 46, 47, and 48 on a long-range bomb from the top of the arc before Coach Brown pulls him to a standing ovation. He pulls the rest of his starters 90 seconds later as the Wine and Gold coasts to the 111-97 Friday night win.

I hope today’s column from the City That Never Sleeps puts you at ease about our conquering hero’s future. I know you’re worried and, as a fellow Clevelander, I can understand.

So, is TheBron leaving for New York or isn't he? There’s really only one man who can answer that question.

And that man is Me.

And the answer is: He’s not going anywhere. But you shouldn’t worry about July. You should worry about November 6. That’s when I really need you to …

Keep the faith, Cleveland

One love,
The Optimist

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