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Some of you out there are thinking: “Hey, what’s with the exclamation point, fool? Don’t you realize that our beloved Cavaliers are on the brink of elimination versus your arch-rivals?

Of course I do. I was there: watching Rob Lowe and their little leprechaun and GINO dance about it.

As far as the exclamation point – it’ll take more than being down one game to the Celtics to curb my enthusiasm. I don’t get paid the long green to roll over and have my belly itched every time the Cavaliers fall behind in a playoff series.

But if you have to: roll out the old Slip-n-Slide and shave off them itchy little Playoff Beards™. You’ve got Ball-Park franks that plump when you cook ‘em and Canadian Soldiers and Southside Johnny at the Rib Cook-Off to groove on.

I love Cleveland in the summer, too. And let's be honest – the Playoffs are hard.

HOWEVER – for those of you ready to stand and FIGHT on a Friday night: welcome back. We don’t go down for nobody. In C-town, we set the wrong things on fire. We throw dog bones.

And anyone who tells me TheBron can’t guide the Wine and Gold to two straight wins is free to enjoy their summer. The Tribe only has a couple hundred more games to go against teams that aren’t the Yankees and Red Sox.

Otherwise, you’re welcome to watch Numeral 23’s Friday night reign of terror at The Q. Playoff highs in points and steals. Several earth-shattering, death-defying dunks – and yes, most sweetly, a Cavaliers victory.

We’ll get to the 11-point triumph in a second. First: you may have noticed a small, blond Indian man hanging around today’s column. That’s just Aditya 'Romeo' Dev – the World’s Smallest Bodybuilder. He’s 2’9” tall. I was searching for a truly inspirational figure for today’s do-or-die, must win Friday. I thought: Brian Piccolo? Our fighting men and women overseas?

No. This required a true underdog. The man is smaller than some of the Optimette’s lamps and he lifts 1.5 kg dumbbells! That little dude is diesel, yo! Romeo Dev is hands-down today’s Game 6 Beard™ to be feared.

Let’s read a quick letter that the 7000 busted off and then we’ll get to tonight’s win over Boston, and how TheBron is going to dunk on they heads.

Dear Optimist,

I am a bus driver, so I love hearing about your road trips because I feel like I am right there driving the bus...

I have a problem. Every playoff season, my company has a No-Beard policy. All I can do is grow in a longer, thicker stash. Please, great-one, tell me what to do.

Johnny "Wild-dog"
Suffern, NY

Wild-dog – I’m moved by your candor. Thanks for reading and writing in. And, of course you’re exempt from growing an actual Playoff Beard™.

Grow your nice, thick stash, Johnny. You’ve probably got enough trouble being from a town called “Suffern.”

But truthfully, we must consider ALL Cavaliers fans: like the foxy female Cavs fans who can’t grow a beard. Or the prepubescent. And what about little Romeo Dev? He doesn’t have a full beard and go ahead and try telling little Hercules that he’s less of a man. I CHALLENGE YOU!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, people.

If you’re a true Cavaliers fan: It’s not the hair that you’re growing on your face. It’s the hair you’re growing on your heart.

Now, let’s proceed to tonight’s action-packed contest pinning the Cavaliers, who lead by two after one, and the Celtics, who lead by one after two. TheBron leads Cleveland with 15 at intermission. Paul Pierce leads Boston with 13 and six boards.

Delonte West logs heavy minutes and does heavy damage – draining a pair of huge treys to help Cleveland close the third on a 10-3 run. Kevin Garnett is a perfect 5-5 in the period. The teams are deadlocked at 68 after three.

After inexplicably going scoreless in the previous quarter, TheBron goes directly to work – loving levitation, raising-and-ripping, driving, swishing, dishing. The young King has his way with the Celtics, outscoring them 19-18 in the period, and leading the Wine and Gold warriors to the 99-88 win before a throbbing throng at The Q.

The Large Lithuanian gets back on track with 22 points and Joe Smith nets a dozen. KG leads the Celtics with 28.

Now, did you notice that I haven’t mentioned anything about Game 7 today?

That’s on accounta we can’t win Game 7 tonight. We can only win Game 6 tonight. I’m not going to bother with Sunday’s game Game 7 victory any more than I’m going to bother with Tuesday's Game 1 victory in Detroit.

We're counting on you, Cavaliers fans! It's Friday night. You know … ya load up. Ya party.

Fear is never boring, my friends. Gird up for a good one on Friday night in downtown Cleveland!

If everyone behaves – we can have a nice, clean Game 6, and this series can go back to Boston tied at three games apiece. If everyone doesn’t, Gloria James can punch some Celtics’ lights out.

Either way, I’ll see you blockheads on Sunday morning.

Until then.

Choose faith, Cleveland

Your pal,
The Optimist

COME ON, CAVS! ©1975

please play loudly