I’ve always wanted to say that. But don’t feel bad, Dudes. You’re welcome today, too. (Just as long as you’re not Bulls fans.) I’m the Optimist – and this here is Cavalier Country.
Some of you Dudes might be thinking: “Uh, hey Big O. What’s up with the pink? Isn’t pink for sissies?”
I apologize for my knuckle-dragging brethren, ladies. Even primates like us should be able to tell from cavs.com’s homepage that on Friday, the Cavaliers and Cleveland Clinic will be recognizing “Box-Out Breast Cancer Night” at The Q, a partnership that’s designed to encourage women (and Dudes) to take an active role in the fight against breast cancer.
We’ve all had loved ones fight one form of cancer or another. And awareness is a huge first step in winning that fight. To wit: Breast cancer patients have a five-year survival rate of more than 95 percent when it’s diagnosed early.
So tonight, we’re going to do our part to raise that awareness, with players wearing pink and white shirts during shootaround. Cavalier coaches – as well as FSN’s Freddy Mac and the incomparable Austin Carr – will be donning pink shirts or ties.
I’ll be wearing the pink and if any of you are coming down, I strongly suggest you do the same.
(Actually, I strongly suggest coming down with a regular nothing shirt and purchasing a limited edition pink CAVS t-shirt at the Team Shop for just $10 – [just ten smackers!] – with ALL proceeds going to support the Cleveland Clinic’s Breast Imaging Program.)
“Yeah,” some of you Dudes are thinking, “but what if some bullies see me in a pink shirt after the game and take my beer money or make me lick frozen dog poop?”
That’s a valid concern. But you can easily disarm with a few bits of knowledge, like that the term “pink” was coined in the late 17th century or that the Pink House is where the president of Argentina lives or that it’s a color closely associated with the Indian spiritual leader, Meher Baba.
If it’s a sports bar, you can tell them that the visitor’s locker room at the University of Iowa’s Kinnick Stadium is painted pink to make opponents play like girls. Do not tell them you’re aware that the soccer team from Palermo, Italy’s home jerseys are pink. You’ll definitely get beat up for that one. Deservedly so.
Either way, the point is: Bullies love trivia.
Speaking of Bullies, we’d better get to the part where the Cavaliers beat the Chicagoans down on Friday at The Q – avenging a one-point loss on November 5 on the very same court.
But before we do, on a day that honors the ladies, what would be more fitting than a little letter from one of my legions of female fans? After slogging through you Dudes’ rough edges in the Mailbox, it’s time for a little feminine touch …
The Big O needs to retire the current career.
Maybe he can pick up his badge and see if he can make a positive difference in that career. He sure as heck isn't going to make a positive influence on my beloved Cavaliers!
I was foolishly hopeful he still had a good few miles left in him! Wishful thinking proved to be "dreaming."
See what I’m saying? Women love me.
Well, maybe not all women. But my beloved little boss, Phyllis Salem, does. And when she reads, she admittedly skips over the part with all the statistics and stuff. Phyllis don’t care how many rebounds Anderson Varejao got or how many minutes Jawad What’s-His-Name played.
So to honor Phyllis and all the other women out there who don’t care about numbers or think I have a few good miles left in me, here goes …
There’s two kinds of TheBron – exspecially at home on the weekends. There’s “master-of-disaster” Bron, who scores all the points and does all the work. And there’s “killing-them-softly-with-his-song” Bron – like we saw on Wednesday night. That’s the one that does a little bit of everything.
For some reason, the Bulls usually bring out the “master-of-disaster” Bron. And that’s why he’ll score almost half the Cavaliers’ points on Friday.
Derrick Rose – Chicago’s point guard – is also very good and, besides doing most of the dribbling, scores quite a few points himself. He also makes several passes that help other Bulls score points. He gets 17 of each.
In the end, however, TheBron simply takes over, making one shot after another. When he hits his 18th basket, giving him 44 points on the night, both teams take their starters out and the Cavaliers win, 95-81.
See how easy that was? With a guy like TheBron and a team like the Cavaliers, you can win as many games in a night as the New Jersey Nets win in a year.
So let it be written. So let it be done.
Think Pink tonight, people – whether you’re at The Q, at home or at the local watering hole.
But, remember, if you start seeing the pink elephants, call a cab or find a designated driver. I need you people around all year, plus playoffs. Y'know, to …
Keep the faith, Cleveland