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Jagshemash, dudes! It’s your boy, the Optimist – checking in on another magnificent day from the Best Location in the Nation.

Our more perceptive readers will recognize that the opening salutation – (plus the sweet artwork that I hung up) – indicates that tonight’s game – against the Bulls, appropriately enough – is the season’s inaugural “Guy’s Nite Out” here in CavalierLand. Awwwwwwwwwww yeah!

“Guys Nite Out” games happen to be some of my favorite days of the year. I know I just said that Election Day was one of my favorite days and that I also really love the Home Opener, Fat Tuesday, St. Patrick’s Day, the Wednesday-before and Friday-after Thanksgiving and the first day of the NCAA Tournament.

I just feel that “Guys Nite Out” is pretty cool, that’s all.

If you’re lucky enough to be part of the ticket package, you get an all-you-can-eat pregame buffet with the foxy Cavalier Girls and the even-foxier Cavalier Legends. You also get your choice of either a 2009-10 Cavalier Girls calendar or 40th anniversary t-shirt.

Yeah – it’s gonna be some mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging fun in Cleveland on Thursday night.

The Cavaliers are looking for their fourth straight after starting the season 0-2. Against their arch-rival Wizards on Tuesday, TheBron dropped 27 like he was falling out of bed and our starting center was Shaqtacular. Mo Williams and Boobie Gibson continued their long-range bombardment.

Tonight, our Wine and Gold warriors will be tested by the likes of Derrick Rose, Luol Deng and Anderson Varejao’s doppelganger, Joakim Noah. It’s the Baby Bulls on TNT Thursday night.

All the young dudes at The Q should be lathered up for this Central Division throwdown. I know we’re still fired up around the office from Tuesday’s passage of Issue 3. I know I am. Who wouldn’t want a casino in their own backyard?! Finally, I’ll have a place to count cards with my savant brother and double-down on 11.

I can hardly wait for the groundbreaking. In the meantime, we’ll have to settle for Cavaliers Basketball – the results of which I’ll get to in just a second.

First, I have to close the latest ugly chapter from yet another ugly incident surrounding my beloved hometown of Garbage Heights, OH.

As I wrote in Tuesday’s column, my alma mater was involved in an on-field fracas with Brush High in their last regular season game. The violence spilled over into the stands and the game was called a Double-Forfeit – both teams lose.

And because I described their team’s nickname as being “sissy” – certainly compared to the Bulldogs – I got this letter …

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As a man who loves all things Cleveland, I don't know how you can mock the nickname of Brush High School - the “Arcs.” They're named after Clevelander, Charles F. Brush's dynamo that was used for arc lighting. He’s a great reminder of one of the many incredible men that Cleveland can call her sons.

Take it back! For the sake of Millionaire's Row … take it back!

Mark Condit
Ashland, OH

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No dice, Condit!

For starters, what has Millionaire’s Row ever done for me?! Secondly, I won’t recognize Charles F. Brush’s accomplishments until his high school apologizes to my high school for baiting them into a brawl and costing them a .500 season – the greatest accomplishment our football program could ever hope to achieve.

Your school is named after a nerd who went to Michigan. Ours is named after a President who chased the Confederates out of Kentucky and once killed an American black bear with his bare hands, I think.

There won’t be any insults taken back today, my friend. But, of course, thank you for reading and writing in.

See? That’s how dudes handle other dudes.

That’s the way the Cavaliers and Bulls handle each other. They are heated Central Division foes and have a long, rich history of heated competition.

The young Bulls are feeling good about themselves, exspecially on the heels of last year’s playoff performance and the renewed health of versatile swingman, Luol Deng. It’s too bad they’re playing in Cleveland, where the Wine and Gold have won nine of the last 11 against Chicago.

Expect more of the same tonight. TheBron likes dropping 41 points on the Bulls – something he did twice in four nights against them last year. Tonight, the young King only nets 39, but redeems himself with 11 assists, nine rebounds and a pair of blocks.

Anthony Parker has his breakout game with Cleveland, notching 26 points – 13 in the decisive third quarter, when the Cavaliers bump their lead into double-figures. John Salmons keys a mini-run for the Bulls, but the Diesel squashes their hopes with three straight buckets.

The Cavaliers win their fourth straight going away – 104-90.

A two-touchdown win should make you fellas happy, right? You’re not going to get touchdown leads anywhere else around these parts, so I recommend you lap this win up with a spoon.

Following the victory, the good guys mount the Team Bus bound for the Big Apple, where New York pundits are perched just outside the Lincoln Tunnel, hoping to jump TheBron the minute he enters Manhattan.

We’ll get to those knuckaheads tomorrow. Tonight, your focus is to …

Keep the faith, Dudes

Sincerely,
The Optimist

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