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Milwaukee vs Orlando - Fan Appreciation Night
April 13, 2009 10:26 pm

Most might have been too Phil-ed up on the Tiger Beat to notice much of anything else from the Masters this past weekend. While the Azaleas were in full bloom and Gary Player bid farewell, it's hard to ignore the bigness of the moment, especially when Jim Nantz is calling the action.

In honor of the Angel Cabrera’s first green jacket and CBS' inevitable dip in the ratings when Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson finished off the lead, I’ll lead you through tonight’s action in Nantz-speak indicated by the italics. For those unfamiliar with the broadcaster's poetic phrasing, the common man translation follows in bold.

Hello friends. On this dreariest of dreary nights, we've come to take in the final act that has been the Milwaukee Bucks’ 2008-2009 masterful campaign.

Scott Skiles endlessly toyed in front of the Bradley Center’s easel, carefully brushing and touching-up his basketball Mona Lisa even without some primary watercolors at his disposal.

Listen up. The weather stinks on the night of the Bucks' last home game for 2008-2009.
Scott Skiles has had to cope with injuries to Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut throughout the season, using a number of different starting lineups.

Michael Redd address the crowd with a gentle tone and a never-ending smile complete with a resplendent twinkle in his eye. The Ohio State Alum verbally genuflects before the fans, foreshadowing champagne wishes and caviar dreams for devoted Bucks followers next season.

Michael Redd enthusiastically thanks the fans for their support this year. He promises that the Bucks will win more games next year than they did this year.

Okay, enough of that, I despise my own fake voice.

Needless to say, a notes-type account of today’s game on Fan Appreciation Night follows:

Upon receiving the official scorer’s report, Dwight Howard (sore left knee), JJ Redick (back spasms) and Hedo Turkoglu (sprained left knee) are out for the Magic. On the unofficial scorer’s report all of their injuries read “don’t screw with until game one of the first round.”

Instead everyone is treated to the basketball wonder that is Marcin Gortat.

Side note: Watching Magic Coach Stan Van Gundy is worth the price of admission for people who care little about the game of basketball, but thoroughly enjoy one man run the range of emotions under three hours. One instant Van Gundy is smiling wide for all the court to see, another time he is shaking his head and you can often catch him with his sleeves bunched up mid-forearm on account of his constant arm-waving. It’s a true delight to watch an episode of “Cheers” and “NYPD Blue” at the same time. 

Dick Bavetta is one of the officials in the game tonight. Bavetta is better known as “the ageless wonder” and his blazing speed is only duplicated by me when I’m running from someone with a semi-automatic weapon.
Rafer Alston, he of “And One” fame furiously rushes down the court.

I’ve always been under the assumption that Alston’s biggest fan is Alston because of how he tried to translate the “And One” game to the NBA. The assumption still stands.

At the end of the first quarter Van Gundy has emptied out what was a short Magic bench, playing all but one of the active players. He’s searching for that one quarter in a jar full of pennies, but all he’s been able to grab were a few silver buttons.

Back to Alston. I am a staunch defender of the statement that “no team with Rafer Alston as their starting point guard will win an NBA Championship.” However, he is the leading “ooh and aah” getter in the Bradley Center tonight.

Everyone loves to watch Alston make the boring look remarkably difficult. Imagine the fun you could have watching him butter toast!

Energee has incorporated basketballs into their act for one of their final dance numbers for the season. I’ve never seen a Spalding smile until tonight.

Joe Alexander drives the baseline and manages to score the basket by going under the rim and laying the ball up on the other side.

Joe, you keep these coming and limit those pesky over-the-back fouls, and you’ll be a hero in no time.
The fans are treated to highlights of Bango’s season. From the dunks to the stunts Bango puts on a good show, but his injury is missing from the clip show, a major mistake because injuries draws laughs.

I fall back on the old Mel Brooks saying in these instances. “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."

The Bucks ended up with a 98-80 victory on Fan Appreciation Night. I appreciated the fans that left at the two-minute timeout to ease my burden of driving home.

There was some fan unrest about a no-call with under a minute left. The refs treat this point of the game as if they were teachers on the last day of school before summer vacation. Unless you set the principal’s car on fire, you’re not getting in trouble.

On a personal note, I want to thank the Bucks for the opportunity to blog this last part of the season. It’s been a great opportunity and the employees don’t even use four-letter words in front of my name. Maybe we’ll see you sooner than you think.

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Milwaukee vs Oklahoma City
April 11, 2009 10:31 pm

I'm developing "Uncle Stan” syndrome. Thankfully, it doesn't alter my sleep patterns and the syndrome doesn't necessitate a high-fiber diet.

Named after my uncle, the disease forces the afflicted party to call everyone "A good guy.” Mute, mutant, money launderer or attorney, the label applies to all.

The disorder is taking over my basketball sensibility. I've become more optimistic about the future of young players.

Optimism is well-suited for fortune tellers and the Washington Generals, but talent scouts and parole officers could do without the trait.

I'm anointing back up power forwards the next Malone even though their stamina is more akin to an actual mailman than Karl Malone. Shooting guards get my unwavering support as long as they don't foul anyone in the act of shooting.

However, there are some players that don't need your optimism. Their skill set trumps any well-wishes and lofty aspirations you might have for them.

Kevin Durant doesn't need your optimism. He might appreciate it, because he seems like the agreeable sort who wouldn't return his Big Mac even if he asked for no pickles and there were three in the middle of the sandwich.

At 6'9, Durant has a height advantage where he could put up shots against Lady Liberty (I might advise against this though since the ball might catch on fire if it hits her torch).

The Ellis Island that is the Oklahoma City Thunder has given Durant the tired of legs, the poor of basketball ability, huddled masses yearning to create their own shot and the wretched refuse of free agency. He is the face of the franchise. He is the chosen one to raise the team from the ruins of the Northwest Division in the Western Conference and I see no reason why he would fail.

Even with the considerable height advantage Durant had against Luc Richard Mbah a Mute (the primary defender on him for most of the night) Durant seems more at ease lofting three-pointers well beyond the arc instead of driving to the basket.

That's not to say Durant is incapable of getting to the basket. Some of his drives appeared to be done on the premise of drawing contact from the defender. Durant's problem is he must have hired Darius Miles' acting coach that earned Miles his breakout role in "The Perfect Score.” When a Bucks player stripped the ball from Durant, Durant over-sold the contact and was left to look a fool on the court. The veteran acting will come in time and he'll go from Tom Arnold to Tom Hanks, refining the flop to such a fine art that Vlade Divac will need to bite his lower lip in a failed attempt to hold back tears.

Even with his sharp-shooting (6 of 13 from the field) Durant did a number on filling up the box score. The second year forward from Texas scored 19 points, grabbed five rebounds, dished out two assists and had three steals.

Don't confuse this with a sign of things to come. No one went to Red Sox games to watch Ted Williams bunt. No one leaves the sound on when Paris Hilton is on television. Durant is a scorer more than anything else. His Renaissance man numbers might belie the fact, but he is extremely capable of putting up more points with little to no problem.

So where do things go from here? It's all bare feet and wet grass, seashells and balloons for Kevin Durant. He is the fifth-leading scorer in the league with names like Dwyane, LeBron, Kobe and Dirk the only five players in the league averaging more points per game. That's not exactly singing back-up to Weird Al.

His shot is polished and will only get better with age. He has to improve his ability to attack the basket and look to draw contact while finishing. That might be a lot to ask of some, but Durant has the physical makeup and athletic ability to climb a few spots on that scoring list by the time next season ends. He'll even stand atop that category at least once in his professional career.

You don't need an optimist to tell you that.

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Milwaukee vs Atlanta
April 8, 2009 10:57 pm

I have fully embraced the pleasantries that come with aging. Twenty-five might not be time to check in to Del Boca Vista (though tip calculators are technological advances second to none) but the splendor that comes with renting an automobile has finally arrived. You can never fully explain the wonders of being one telephone call away from having a Kia until you experience it firsthand.

But even with all the smooth jazz and strong fiber to keep you feeling young and loose, being 25 provides a startling revelation: I would be a veteran in the NBA.

Figure it this way:

I come out of college at the end of my sophomore year after improper dealings with an agent. Who knew you couldn't accept a Bentley from a friend of the program nicknamed “The Money Tree?"

After some impressive pre-draft workouts because my first impression is typically my only good one, I'm selected with the eighth pick in the first round. My mom, dad, brother, pastor, butcher, baker, candlestick maker and family accountant (who becomes so much more valuable at a time like this) all take turns to hug me when my name is announced. Some awkward-looking production assistant hands me a hat that doesn't jive with the platinum suit that is clumsily draped over my frame.

My rookie season never begins because I tear my hamstring on “Dancing with the Stars." I am helped off the stage as John Larroquette and Richard Belzer mimic my dance moves.

Fast forward and at his point in my career I'm on my third house and third team. The past four seasons are uneventful and I'm the one younger players are coming to for advice.

Hope you enjoyed that stroll down “What if" lane had I taken my vitamins and said my prayers on a daily basis. On the other hand, it's a good thing I didn't, because those vitamins would have probably leaded to a conversation with the kind folks from the FDA.

Anyways back to this age dilemma. The Bucks have five players younger than me. This includes Charlie Villanueva, Ramon Sessions, Joe Alexander, and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute.

Mbah Moute played in two NCAA Final Fours in college. He has the skills to have a lengthy career in the NBA.
I was the starting pitcher on two 12-inch softball teams that won the intramural co-ed championship two years in a row. The endorsement deals didn't start piling up like I had expected.

The Hawks roster makes 1983 look like the land before time. Ten players on the team are younger than me. Josh Smith has won a slam dunk contest. Marvin Williams won an NCAA title. Al Horford won two.

My college team in NCAA March Madness received an at-large bid for the NCAA Tournament after dropping out in the semi-finals of the conference tournament. I couldn't even land a coaching gig at a BCS conference after that season.

I could sit here all day and compare the athletic accomplishments of these young guns to my athletic irrelevance, but I have neither the wherewithal to remember all these statistics nor the funds to pay for the psychiatry sessions.

Actually, I should probably be more downtrodden by the success of those younger than me, but I'm not. The truth is, even as the league gets younger, more excitement fills each season.

It's fun to predict the next big thing after watching the next big thing play 10 minutes in the first round of the NCAA Tournament.

Getting eliminated from the playoffs might fill some fans with anger and disappointment, but those post-elimination games are showcases for the young talent on the team. It's fun to look into the future even if the crystal ball might be a little cloudy.

So enjoy the final games of the season and look towards the future. The best is yet to come.

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Milwaukee vs Memphis
April 4, 2009 11:40 pm

I never really wanted to be "that guy," but it seems everyone else embraces the role with so much vigor that you must feel incomplete without knowing that my bracket has been picked cleaner than a game bird on Sally Struthers' plate. I really detest being "that guy," but will gladly assume the role as long as others spin their yarns of bracket tragedy.

Anyways, anyone not enticed by the future must be running out of clean anklets or sitting on a very comfortable arm chair. The future makes the present tolerable, especially when your team is filled with the young talent that the Bucks and Memphis Grizzlies possess. The days of whining and woes will be the days of wine and roses in no time.

You could say the Griz had their fair share of problems. An organization mired in mediocrity, the upcoming years appear hospitable, especially with rookies like O.J. Mayo and Marc Gasol. The contributions from Luke Richard Mbah a Moute and the relative mystery that is Joe Alexander's capability to play NBA basketball is an entertaining possibility for the Bucks.

What will become of these players? Will Mayo make it big time? Will Mbah a Moute fill a niche as a defensive stopper? Will Joe Alexander experience life on the court?

From a glance:

Mayo. Mayo is the most high profile of the four. In high school, he was a nationally-recognized player. A Lennon in a world of Ringo's. If it was up to Mayo, he would hoist shots eight days a week. Off a curl, Mayo shoots. Settled on the wing, Mayo shoots. Driving the lane among the giants, Mayo shoots. Picking up his dry cleaning and Mayo… puts his shirts in the back seat of his four-door vehicle. But you get the point. He likes to shoot.
This was the trend in the first quarter. Mayo was 0-6 from the field. Give him credit though; he did not take one attempt in the second quarter. He utilized his passing skills, getting four assists instead.

Mayo might have to be Robin for a few years, even if the mask irritates his beard and he badly wants to speak with Commissioner Gordon on the Bat Phone. Rudy Gay is the first scoring option on the Grizzlies, with Mayo helping with the heavy lifting.

Mayo settles into his scoring comfort zone in the second half, hitting shots from all over the court. It's his personal game of "Around the World." Bucks defenders are just Angola, Belize and Croatia.

Mayo has had the superstar treatment before he even entered his one year of school/professional basketball preparatory work at USC. How long does he settle for being second banana to Gay?

Gasol: Ever play pick-up ball against someone much older? This same person lights you up and you're left to wonder how the girth of their stomach doesn't act as a gravity magnet and pull the rest of their body directly towards the ground? The wide-body shoots underhand, gets good positioning and uses all awkward spots on the backboard. Well Gasol is that wide-body, bereft of the respiratory problems and constant coughing. His set list is longer than Springsteen's and he got to the line with relative ease tonight, hitting 11 of 14 free throws.

He is also a David-killer, more comfortable grabbing rebounds over small forwards and shooting guards instead of mixing it up against the giants. That passive aggressiveness is evident in his around-the-basket-moves. Gasol can get his shot off at such a foreign angle that the defender feels they have no choice but to foul.
Mbah a Moute: There's something intriguing regarding a player who buys into a defense-first idea upon their entrance into the NBA. Mbah a Moute creates major problems for the player he is defending, even though Gay handed him his lunch a few times tonight with fade-aways.

Mbah a Moute is at his best clogging the lane on defense. His active hands (well-suited for a shooting guard) create turnovers and he's only going to get better at that aspect of his game. Give Mbah a Moute time because biting on shot fakes and taking poor angles to a spot on the floor will be a thing of the past.

On offense he knows his limitations. You won't see him awkwardly patrolling the three-point line, trying to sneak a three under the watchful eye of Scott Skiles. He camps out around the basket and leads the charge on most fast breaks. Though he did his best Chris Dudley impression, missing all six free throw attempts, he understands his ability as a basketball player and doesn't stray from what he does well. After all, Sinatra never closed with "The Girl from Ipanema."

Alexander: Alexander was praised from draft gurus as one of the best athletes in the 2008 class. Athletes are fine if you need someone to bike, swim and run in a ridiculously short amount of time.
I don't see Joe Alexander as a basketball player at this point. He's an athlete with a tantalizing skill set, but poor decision-making skills.

The rookie was 1-4 from the field, including 0-1 from three-point range. His shots were forced and he hurried his release. Alexander is at his best attacking the basket. His shot will come in time.

On defense he managed to pick up four fouls in under seven minutes of play. In a condition that ails mostly younger players, he doesn't know when to foul and when not to foul. That will come with more playing experience and a better understanding of the game. Until then he will be MIA during key stretches of most games (missing in action, not M.I.A. the recording artist, he has no chance to get high like planes, he's grounded to his seat on the bench).

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Milwaukee vs LA Lakers
April 1, 2009 10:31pm

How do you know you've made it? Maybe it's when they make a made-for-TV movie about your life and Fred Berry from "What's Happening!!" is cast in the lead role? Perhaps you and your brother take over the family beet farm in Pennsylvania?

These are all great honors and wonderful opportunities, but it's not the one word I'm looking for.
Michael. Magic. Larry. Kareem. Wilt. Those are the one word answers. Being known by only one name puts you on the level of presidents (Barack), recording artists (Madonna) and television stars (Johnny). A Bentley in a world of Edsels.

Kobe has earned that identifier. I'm not even going to mention his last name. In fact I've already forgotten it.
I'm sure the Bucks haven't. A story in the Wall Street Journal reported that since 1991, the Bradley Center housed the most games where an opposing player scored 46 points or more. Is this merely another stop on the Kobe scorched earth tour or can the Bucks hold one of the league's most recognizable figures to modest numbers?

Let time be your guide.

THE FIRST QUARTER:

Kobe stays relatively inactive in the early going of the game as the Lakers run plays to get the other players involved. He scores his first basket on a tip-in. There will be no between-the-legs, cover-your-eyes magic that most people in the Bradley Center were hoping for. It was just a plain old tip in, yawn. Was Tim Duncan not available to handle that chore?

Charlie Bell is the first to defend Kobe. It's is the typical veteran on veteran matchup. Guard your opponent close, but not too close. Let the player on offense have a little room to breathe. Fill in the moments with some idle chit-chat.

I'm guessing it was something along the lines of this:

Charlie Bell: I picked up the Lady Gaga CD.

Kobe: Only $8.99 at Target! How could you go wrong?

Bell guards Kobe at the free throw line, leaving only room for Kobe's elbows before he decides what to do with the ball. Bell's defense is tight, but Kobe steps away from the basket and sinks a fade away.

The Bucks throw multiple defenders at Kobe anytime he even thinks about approaching the basket. From here Kobe is able to pass out of the double team and find an open teammate. A telltale sign of maturity, a younger Kobe would have tried to slay three monsters with one move, turning the ball over in the process.

Bell departs and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute enters. Kobe greets him by driving the baseline and hitting an awkward shot. Scratch that, it was a tough shot, but Kobe handled it with the relative ease most of us have lacing their gym shoes (Well most except for me. The wax tips at the end of the laces cracked. It is such a pain).

SECOND QUARTER:

Kobe returns with 8:06 left in the second quarter.

Mbah a Moute's defense has been impressive, but impressive isn't good enough. Kobe has hit an array of contested shots by driving to the basket and fading away. He ends the first half with no misses from the field. Don Larsen would crack a smile watching this type of perfection.

Mbah a Moute and Kobe also engage in a little game of grab-and-go while jockeying for position under the basket. Superstars don't like to be touched, especially when it prevents them from scoring the basket. This seems to have upset Kobe. Mbah a Moute should know that defending a superstar is the quickest way to foul out of a game. If he drips one bead of sweat on Kobe, Mbah a Moute will be saddled with a personal foul and a possible call from the league office.

THIRD QUARTER

The Berlin Wall Fell, Stephen A. Smith stopped yelling and Kobe finally missed a shot, but not to worry, Bell fouled him during the act of shooting. Kobe goes to the line and hits three free throws.

Kobe continues to get the same looks at the basket as the Bucks are giving him little breathing room. The only difference is the shots falling in the first half are no longer dropping in.

He even gets whistled for a traveling call. Kobe's confused look leads me to believe he does not know of this traveling violation the officiating crew is speaking of. Those calls are for sixth men and Derrick Coleman.

Kobe is comfortable being double-teamed. He passes the ball out of them with relative ease, finding Trevor Ariza for some wide open looks and easy baskets.

Kobe finishes the third quarter with 22 points. He continues to get poor looks at the basket, but unlike the first half, those same shots aren't falling.

FOURTH QUARTER:

The fourth quarter begins with a bang, or rather a block. Kobe tries to drive baseline on Bell but his layup is blocked by Francisco Elson. This is the defining superstar moment.

These are not your typical blocks. Blocking a superstar's shot lead to riotous cheering. This crowd reacted to this block with the "hit a game winner" enormity of volume. A Sasha Vujacic block wouldn't elicit such reaction if any reaction at all, even from the Vujacic family. They'd probably put their heads down.

Kobe takes over as the game comes to a close, a breakaway here, a few trips to the free throw line there and 30 points happens just like that.

There's little blame to pass on the Bucks. The trio of Bell, Mbah a Moute and Richard Jefferson did a solid job on Bryant. With a few exceptions on inbound plays, Bryant did not have many easy shots in front of him.

One (other) word: excellence.

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Milwaukee vs Portland
March 21, 2009 10:47pm

Before this thing inevitably goes downhill, I would like to thank everyone who voted in the 6th Fan Blog contest. For those that voted for me, you have no one to blame but yourselves. Enjoy tonight’s game as the Bucks concluded their six-game homestand and try to climb back into the eighth playoff spot.

Basketball consumes most of our thoughts in mid-March. Walk down Wisconsin Avenue and strangers are setting illegal screens for one another.

In this Spalding-shaped world of ours, one player has dominated talk shows and news cycles without actually dominating a professional game.

This would be Greg Oden. The Greg Oden with an imposing frame that makes most 747s alter their flight paths. The body is a temple and a gigantic one at that. His image is pristine and exudes a level of professionalism reserved for an eight year veteran. His one year at Ohio State led to an appearance in the national title game for the Buckeyes.

People threw out comparisons to Bill Russell and not simply because of the uncanny resemblance both share with each other to this day.

This was supposed to be another character in the NBA’s renaissance. LeBron, Kobe, DWade, Zaza Pachulia (wanted to see if you were awake) and Oden. Oh the ensuing fun to be had.
So it was with excitement to witness the Greg Oden experience up-close and personal. Did he have to duck walking under the Jumbotron at half court? Would one might huff and puff from him blow down the basket support? Could he really break the ball boy’s right hand just by tapping it?

These tall tales draw people to Oden. He is an imposing figure makes him an intriguing figure in NBA circles.

When Oden entered the game with 2:22 remaining in the first quarter a “whoa” element existed in the Bradley Center. This reaction is reserved for established dominating figures like Shaquille O’Neal, Yao Ming and Dwight Howard. This welcome isn’t normally reserved for players who score so infrequently.

Oden played a total of nine minutes and 26 seconds in the Portland win. The rest of his vitals include three rebounds, one steal, two points, four turnovers and five personal fouls. Not exactly numbers you put on your resume unless you aim to become a professional septic tank cleaner.
Ugliness aside, there are a few things that stick out from the Greg Oden experience:

He tries to do too much on defense: I know, I know we should all be thankful that an NBA player in the springtime of his career is buying into this idea of defense while we all thought it had gone the way of reading books and speaking to someone on the telephone. Oden’s defensive effort was admirable in the attempt but futile in the success.

He is over-active. He took it upon himself to try to block every attempted shot the Bucks hoisted from the paint. Oden needs to understand his ability as a basketball player. Can he really go across the paint and block a shot without giving the other center a love tap on the forearm? What shots can he send into the stands and what ones would be better off left up to the basketball Gods? If Portland needs to depend on Oden someday he will have to drastically cut back on the number of fouls he commits. Experience will be his best tool in grasping his ability and more importantly, his inability.

Right here guys: Oden is non-existent on offense. When he inbounded the ball, it marked the longest amount of time he spent cradling the ball the entire day. Portland uses him as a screener quite a bit, but he doesn’t roll from the screen and get the ball. Rather, he rolls and moves under the basket to rebound.

Rebounding the ball is Oden’s best chance for getting any touches on offense. All he needs to do is develop one solid post move to make him a viable offensive weapon. Developing a post move is not exactly a taxing endeavor.

Do you know who I am?: The largest crowd reaction during the entire game was when Charlie Villanueva blocked Oden’s shot when Oden went up to score after grabbing an offensive rebound. The reaction is evidence that Oden is a huge name in the league even if his statistics belie the fact. If Villanueva blocked Joel Przybilla’s shot would it have stirred that much, if any reaction from the crowd? Highly unlikely.

It’s unfair to put the Sam Bowie toe-tag on Oden’s career. This is essentially his rookie season and growing pains are especially uncomfortable for someone who underwent microfracture surgery. His maturation will be eased by a strong supporting cast that includes Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge and Rudy Fernandez. Oden will have time to grow as a player and catch up to the legend and mystique that already accompany his name.