Suit up the suits, and let's see whose coaches can play

More than any other professional sport, the NBA is known as a player's league. And that extends to the coaching staffs.

The number of Hall of Famers, perennial All-Stars and fellows sporting championship rings working in the NBA's trenches as head or assistant coaches is unmatched by the NFL, the NHL or Major League Baseball. Even leaving executives and those with ownership stakes -- such as Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson -- out of the mix, there is a wealth of know-how, natural ability and past exploits working on practice courts and sitting on the sidelines holding clipboards. In a few cases, the names and presence of a team's coaching staff is more impressive than the list of players on the active roster.

Which got me to thinking, if we could stage a tournament of NBA coaching staffs -- as players, in their primes -- how would the 30 entries do?

(Look, it's September, deep into the offseason and near the bottom of the barrel of story angles. Besides, it's not totally irrelevant: Many general managers and head coaches believe that there is tremendous value in having on their staffs men who actually have walked the NBA walk. It's a counter-measure to the old, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach" maxim.)

Working from the team's official 2010-11 rosters on NBA.com as of Tuesday morning -- some teams still are hiring -- and offering no insight into how they collaborate and execute in their day jobs, here are thumbnails of the potential tournament's entries. All strictly in good fun (since the weakest among them could kick an NBA.com squad's butt):

CHICAGO BULLS

Staff: Tom Thibodeau, Ron Adams, Andy Greer, Mike Wilhelm

Comment: Terry Porter or Adrian Griffin, names mentioned for the last Bulls coaching spot, would bring actual NBA on-court experience. Otherwise, a staff of pluggers.

DALLAS MAVERICKS

Staff: Rick Carlisle, Terry Stotts, Dwane Casey, Tom Sterner

Comment: Carlisle started one NBA game (in 188 appearances with Boston and New York). Just like the Mavs, they'd be desperate for a solution at center.

DETROIT PISTONS

Staff: John Kuester, Darrell Walker, Pat Sullivan, Brian Hill

Comment: Seems pretty clear they'd be a little undermanned in the post.

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

Staff: Don Nelson, Keith Smart, Stephen Silas, Russell Turner

Comment: Obviously a rebuilding situation.

INDIANA PACERS

Staff: Jim O'Brien, Dan Burke, Frank Vogel, Jay DeFruscio, Vitaly Potapenko, Walter McCarty

Comment: If O'Brien wanted to stack his staff with some former Celtics frontcourt players, he'd have been better off here luring Larry Bird back to the bench.

MIAMI HEAT

Staff: Erik Spoelstra, Bob McAdoo, Keith Askins, Ron Rothstein, David Fizdale, Chad Kammerer

Comment: McAdoo has Springfield, Mass., credentials. But team prez Pat Riley might be tempted to sub himself in for Spoelstra.

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

Staff: Monty Williams, Michael Malone, Randy Ayers, James Borrego, Bryan Gates

Comment: A role player in 10 NBA seasons, Williams would have to be this squad's star.

NEW YORK KNICKS

Staff: Mike D'Antoni, Herb Williams, Phil Weber, Dan D'Antoni, Kenny Atkinson

Comment: We'd expect nothing less than high-scoring, low-defense outings.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

Staff: Gregg Popovich, Mike Budenholzer, Don Newman, Brett Brown, Chip Engelland, Chad Forcier

Comment: The Spurs never have stacked their deck with former NBA stars and things have worked out pretty well, don't you think? Maybe not in this tourney, though.

UTAH JAZZ

Staff: Jerry Sloan, Phil Johnson, Tyrone Corbin, Scott Layden

Comment: The Jazz entry would be comfortable with a two-man game, but could Sloan and Corbin be effective Stockton-Malone-ing opponents to death?

ATLANTA HAWKS

Staff: Larry Drew, Lester Connor, Bob Bender, Tyrone Hill, Kenny Gattison

Comment: This squad is pretty deep in NBA experience and maybe more cohesive than the fellas they coach.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

Staff: Byron Scott, Chris Jent, Paul Pressey, Jamahl Mosley, Joe Prunty

Comment: An All-Star shooting guard (Scott), a point forward (Pressey) and issues up front. No jerseys worth burning though.

L.A. CLIPPERS

Staff: Vinny Del Negro, Dean Demopoulos, Marc Iavaroni, Robert Pack

Comment: A little thin in sheer manpower. Could have used Mike Dunleavy, Kim Hughes and John Lucas from last year's staff.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

Staff: Lionel Hollins, Johnny Davis, Henry Bibby, David Joerger, Barry Hecker, Damon Stoudemire

Comment: Going small would be this group's best (only?) option with some dynamite backcourt performers.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

Staff: Scott Skiles, Jim Boylan, Kelvin Sampson, Joe Wolf, Adrian Griffin

Comment: Joe Wolf averaged 4.2 points across 11 NBA seasons, so Skiles' assist totals would take a hit. Also, Bulls have had interest in adding Griffin.

NEW JERSEY NETS

Staff: Avery Johnson, Sam Mitchell, Larry Krystkowiak, John Loyer, Popeye Jones, Tom Barrise

Comment: Maybe the scrappiest team in this tournament, ready to will and even nasty itself to some victories.

OKLAHOMA CITY

Staff: Scott Brooks, Maurice Cheeks, Rex Kalamian, Mark Bryant, Brian Keefe

Comment: See Memphis, above.

ORLANDO MAGIC

Staff: Stan Van Gundy, Brendan Malone, Patrick Ewing, Steve Clifford, Bob Beyer, Ahmad Ajami

Comment: How would Patrick handle his point guard, Van Gundy, and all that screaming?

TORONTO RAPTORS

Staff: Jay Triano, Alex English, Micah Nori, Eric Hughes, Alvin Williams

Comment: We're assuming that Williams stays healthy. And English properly ices his shooting arm.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

Staff: Flip Saunders, Randy Wittman, Don Zierden, Sam Cassell, Wes Unseld Jr., Ryan Saunders, Mike Wells, Gene Banks

Comment: The Wizards squad has numbers -- a deep bench from among the guys in suits on the bench -- and shooting. But pecking order could be a problem.

10. CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

Staff: Larry Brown, Herb Brown, Jeff Capel, Phil Ford, Dave Hanners, LaSalle Thompson

Comment: This experiment would combine Larry Brown's vast coaching experience with his ABA All-Star abilities. And we'd probably see Doug Moe added to Charlotte's staff.

9. PHILADELPHIA 76ers

Staff: Doug Collins, Michael Curry, Brian James, Quin Snyder, Aaron McKie

Comment: Solid NBA performers at three spots, and we're assuming that Collins doesn't blow out his knee.

8. DENVER NUGGETS

Staff: George Karl, Adrian Dantley, John Welch, Tim Grgurich

Comment: A short roster, in both senses of the word. But Dantley never played that way and isn't about to start now.

7. BOSTON CELTICS

Staff: Doc Rivers, Lawrence Frank, Armond Hill, Kevin Eastman, Clifford Ray, Mike Longabardi

Comment: Scoring might be a challenge here but current fans would marvel at "Mule" Ray's work ethic and defense.

6. PHOENIX SUNS

Staff: Alvin Gentry, Bill Cartwright, Dan Majerle, Igor Kokoskov, Noel Gillespie

Comment: Majerle still can hit halfcourt shots in street clothes. Now if only young Gillespie's game doesn't resemble his old man's (inside college joke).

5. SACRAMENTO KINGS

Staff: Paul Westphal, Jim Eyen, Mario Elie, Truck Robinson, Pete Carril, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Otis Hughley

Comment: Crunch three or four generations of basketball guile and skill into one team and these Kings would be a force.

4. PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS

Staff: Nate McMillan, Maurice Lucas, Bernie Bickerstaff, Bob Ociepka, Buck Williams

Comment: I can see some forfeits by the Blazers' opponents, when they consider the punishment from facing Lucas and Williams at the same time.

3. HOUSTON ROCKETS

Staff: Rick Adelman, Elston Turner, Jack Sikma, T.R. Dunn, R.J. Adelman

Comment: That is a pretty solid starting five, with defense a specialty and Sikma's reverse-pivot move still perplexing to opposing big men.

2. L.A. LAKERS

Staff: Phil Jackson, Frank Hamblen, Brian Shaw, Jim Cleamons, Chuck Person

Comment: The question here is, does Kareem count? If the Lakers were to list Abdul-Jabbar, a special assistant, among their regular coaches, this thing is over!

1. MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

Staff: Kurt Rambis, Dave Wohl, Reggie Theus, Bill Laimbeer, John-Blair Bickerstaff

Comment: Size, playmaking, scoring, defense, championship pedigree -- the Wolves' entry has it all. Maybe even bragging rights if it faced the current Minnesota squad.

Steve Aschburner has written about the NBA for 25 years. You can e-mail him here and follow him on twitter.

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