Nowitzki hoping hoops can help heal personal wounds

DALLAS -- Dirk Nowitzki doesn't trust easily, but he trusts completely. And that's why the events of the past five months hurt so much.

The heart and soul of the Mavericks had his own heart and soul dragged through a meat grinder in a messy and public breakup that took a heavy toll on a fiercely guarded man. Nowitzki didn't let it show, especially in the arena where he makes his living, but the wounds run deep and may never completely heal.

"I was really not the kind of guy that walked around trusting everybody, anyways, but it still happened," Nowitzki said Monday on the eve of his 12th NBA training camp. "It is what it is. I'm not going to change who I am.

"I always have fun with people. I like being around people here and there. I don't know if it's going to change me a lot. Obviously my goal is still to have family here sooner or later. I better start trusting somebody soon."

On his way to starting a family, Nowitzki's world was blown out of orbit last May. The arrest of his ex-fiancée, Cristal Taylor, at his home during the Western Conference semifinals with Denver was just the start of Nowitzki's private pain.

"It was a huge shock," he said. "I had to deal with it. The first two or three days you go through all the emotions. It's a little bit of a roller coaster -- you're sad, you're mad, you're angry, disappointed -- it all goes through your head, but I still had a job to do."

Nowitzki's stellar performance in that series confirmed his icy resolve and laser focus. The Mavericks fell in five games, but the former MVP averaged better than 34 points and 11 rebounds despite distractions that could/should have derailed anyone in his sneakers.

"It showed me that I'm mentally tougher than a lot of people think," he said. "I played through that, I played through injuries and I always felt like I was pretty tough. I might not be the most physically tough player, but mentally I'm right up there."

Nowitzki found some solace in a comfortably worn piece of leather before 20,000 strangers.

"It wasn't easy, for sure," he said. "All you think about is just that one thing, but more than anything basketball was almost a little bit of an escape. For an hour-and-a-half or two hours in the day I'm doing what I love to do. The Playoffs still going on kind of helped me in a way. It almost made me feel like there was nothing going on."

Nowitzki received endless support from his teammates, friends and the Mavericks organization. Team owner Mark Cuban said the situation with Taylor began to "percolate" during the first-round series with San Antonio, and he talked with Nowitzki often about "shutting everything out."

Still, the well-chronicled Nowitzki-Taylor saga was hardly over after the Mavericks' season ended. Embarrassing accounts of their relationship were suddenly out in the open. Nowitzki withdrew as it all played out for the world to see.

Nowitzki was ready to spend the rest of his life with Taylor before he learned she wasn't the person he thought she was. Coming to grips with that reality took some time. While all the legal issues likely haven't been resolved, Nowitzki has moved on.

"When it all went down, I thought I'm going to be thinking about this for the rest of my life," he said. "Every day it's going to be in the back of my mind. But already after a couple of weeks went by, I felt a lot better. There were days where I didn't think about it at all.

"So from that standpoint I was doing a lot better than I thought I would do. It was definitely not a great time. I wasn't the same really for the first couple weeks, but my family definitely helped."

Taylor was incarcerated in Missouri in June. Pregnancy results proved she wasn't pregnant with Nowitzki's child earlier this month.

"The news a couple weeks ago helped," Nowitzki said, obviously relieved. "I think with the kid it would have been a tough situation to handle, but I'm sure I would have made it somehow. But now this way it's best for everyone involved. I'm looking forward to finally moving on and concentrating on basketball again, and just doing the things that I love to do."

Nowitzki didn't pick up a basketball for nine weeks after the season ended. He didn't play for the German national team this summer for the first time since coming to the league more than a decade ago. A family vacation in Greece and a trip to South Africa as part of the NBA's Basketball Without Borders program were also cathartic.

"I definitely needed this summer, but now I'm also ready to get it going again and start playing basketball again, and get my private life out of the media," he said. "That's been important for me the last 10 or 11 years."

Nowitzki returned back to Dallas this past weekend in full surfer-dude mode -- tan, scruffy, blond hair long and unkempt. He's also at least a dozen pounds lighter than he played last season. Feeling quicker and refreshed from a less physically taxing summer -- Nowitzki did go through a rigorous training program with personal advisor/coach Holger Geschwindner -- the 31-year-old power forward is eager to get on the floor with his new and old teammates.

Nowitzki is excited about the athletic dimension Shawn Marion brings and how the Matrix will mesh with Josh Howard. He's glad to have Jason Kidd back. He's intrigued by the additions of Drew Gooden, Tim Thomas and Quinton Ross.

For the first time since he can remember, Nowitzki is actually looking forward to two-a-days. And life.

"Everybody goes through stuff in their lives," he said. "It's how you respond from it. I'll get over it. I'm actually glad to say I'm doing pretty good."

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